the_opposite_sex Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 basically any information you can give me on having a child would be great! i know the basics as far as they take a lot of responsibility and sacrifice. my fiance and i discussed things about a week or so ago before he came in me for the first time w/ out any birth control whatsoever. then a few nights later, he did it again. he wants a child as well. i'm experiencing a few symptoms already that COULD be related to early signs of pregnancy but i'm aware that it could be something else too....like last night, i woke up 3 times from horrible lower abdomen pains and having to pee often. nausea here and there, but its not horrible. i guess i should just wait til i get my period here in about a week and a half-2 wks. So yes, any information or advice regarding this topic would be of great appreciation. i'm googling info too 1 Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 I haven't had any children but I have a few ideas and thoughts for you... Maybe talking to your mom about it... That might be a good thing. She could help you the best with this... Talking to any close family members or friends about this that has had children. Now they are probably going to have good stories and some bad. Other then that most people just learn as the go along. If you a Financally prepared and you think the timing in your life is right for the both of you then think about it... I did a google search and I will pm you some links I found... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
csfong007 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 basically any information you can give me on having a child would be great! i know the basics as far as they take a lot of responsibility and sacrifice. *I would be more than happy to answer any questions you might have. I am almost 50 and my daughter is now 21. Having a child is/was the best experience I've had in my life. *A child definitely takes a lot of responsibility, sacrifice, and maturity. You and your partner must be definitely certain that this is what you want to do. *Unfortunately, in my own situation, my ex-husband left me when my daughter was 2 so I essentially had to raise her on my own. But, I would do it all over again. *If/when you and your fiance marry, please make sure you have basically done everything you want to in your life before you have a child. Because once you have a child, you will be really tied down. *Once you get pregnant, it's wise to of course eat well, get exercise, take care of yourself, and so forth. *The most challenging part for me was probably 0-6 months because I knew so little about babies. *Since then I have enjoyed every moment of motherhood. And still do. I'm happy to say my daughter is happy, smart, outgoing, has a lot of friends, is attending one of the best colleges in the US, and has many goals set forth in her life. *Of course it isn't easy, especially single parenting. But, if you have a partner who is willing to work with you, it will be so much easier. I was fortunate to have my parents. There will be times you will be frustrated and challenged, but, it will also be the most rewarding thing you've ever done. *I have worked for 17 years at a university and my work doesn't even come close to how I feel about the work I've done with my daughter. *I've had a number of relationships and again these haven't come close to the relationship that I've had with my daughter. *Of course it will be different for you because you will have a husband. But the key is that he has to be a willing participant because you can't and shouldn't do all the work. *Honestly, I can't say it enough...having a child was the best thing ever. Good luck to you and feel free to write again if you have any concerns. I'll be happy to respond. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted January 29, 2006 Author Share Posted January 29, 2006 aww thank you both for your responses, very much appreciated!! it's gonna be hard to tell if i'm pregnant or not though b/c like one of the sites agnf666 posted.....the symptoms i have could be a number of other things as well. As far as sacrificing, i dont think we'd be sacrificing much as it is b/c we rarely go out. We're on our feet all day at work then when we come home, we dont wanna ever do anything anyways. And we've been together 5 yrs already so it's not like we're longing for some "togetherness time" so to speak lol That sounded kinda mean i think, sorry:o Link to post Share on other sites
csfong007 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 We're on our feet all day at work then when we come home, we dont wanna ever do anything anyways. *Just remember, parenting will require LOTS of energy! And don't forget you'll have those sleepless nights for the first 6 months to a year! And we've been together 5 yrs already so it's not like we're longing for some "togetherness time" so to speak lol That sounded kinda mean i think, sorry *That's good to know...it sounds like you have a solid relationship and the two of you want a child, so... *Lastly, I have to say...you know what they say...little people little problems big people big problems. *But, like I said, it is so worth it. I would do it over a million times over. I can't wait for the day when I'm a grandma! *Good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 I don't have children, but the best advice I could think of to offer is spend time with people who do! One of my best girlfriends HATED the book, "What to Expect When You're Expecting". She said it really didn't cover the things she needed to know. Her best education came from her close friend, who had two boys. She spent time with them and learned a lot about what it takes to be a mom. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 We're on our feet all day at work then when we come home, we dont wanna ever do anything anyways. Um. You do realize that having kids means that you're pretty much always 'doing things' for the first few years at least, I hope. Some are criers. Some get sick a lot. Some need lots more attention than others. And none sleep much for the first while. If work wipes you out already, you may not be good candidates for parenthood 'cause you sure can't just roll home and zone out on the couch for the night when you got little kiddles around. Link to post Share on other sites
wanda1974 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 How old are you and your boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted January 29, 2006 Author Share Posted January 29, 2006 i'm 22 and he'll be 23 in February Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 What about trying out one of those Baby Think it Over dolls? Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 OP you are so young....... so much you can do. No need to rush into being a parent. Make sure you are financially secure have enough money put away for emergencies. Once you do this you cannot go back. a4a Link to post Share on other sites
wanda1974 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 i'm 22 and he'll be 23 in February OKI was 20 when I met my boyfriend. By 21 I had a child and married. I am now 31 and my daughter is 9, and I am divorced 2 years. I would've never aborted, and I don't regret having my daughter...I love her to peices...couldn't live without her. But I have lost soooooo much of my younger years. While all my friends were partying, including my husband, I was home with the child. Having a child DRASTICALLY changes your lifestyle. It's no longer about you and your needs....It's about that child. I think you should wait a couple of years and make sure you're ready financially and mentally. That's just my opinon. By the by....labor hurts like hell!!!!!!!!!! However, I would go through it all again if I could! Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted January 29, 2006 Author Share Posted January 29, 2006 yea i think you guys are right. but i'm not ruling out the fact that i could be pregnant now....i'm waiting to see if i get my period within the next week - 2 wks. If I am then I am, no regrets. If i'm not, i'm not. My fiance and I just decided last night that we might just go to Florida this summer and get married on the beach instead of going through the stress I have been of trying to plan an actual wedding here in Indiana. And we'll just honeymoon while we're there. So if i'm pregnant, then we won't be able to do that. Now that I think about it, I dont think I want a child right now. Maybe after the honeymoon:p Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Having a child DRASTICALLY changes your lifestyle. It's no longer about you and your needs....It's about that child. I think you should wait a couple of years and make sure you're ready financially and mentally. That's just my opinon. By the by....labor hurts like hell!!!!!!!!!! However, I would go through it all again if I could! We were married almost 10 years before having children. I knew things would be really different once children came, but I could never have imagined how much of my life and what I wanted would be curtailed by babies. You basically become slave to another human being's needs. On no sleep. After the alien being takes over your body, it attaches to you on the outside for quite a few months. It's exhausting. And great. If I had known what was really involved in having children, I doubt I would have had any because I wanted to be free to do my own life and career. And I would have missed out on one of the most important things that makes life worth living. I birthed and mothered two of the most amazing human beings on the planet, and that's better than any career accomplishment I could have hoped for. I knew the night I got pregnant--both times. I woke up in the middle of the night and just felt different. The second time we weren't looking to get pregnant, but with a two-year-old, when there's a window of opportunity you take it whether there are condoms there or not, so . . . . when I woke in the middle of the night, I thought, no, I'm just imagining things. I wasn't. If you are pregnant, the first thing you need to do if you want/need to continue working after baby arrives, is check out child care. There's a scarcity of good infant care. And it's very expensive. SAVE MONEY! You will be astonished at how much space those little critters with all their stuff take up. You'll need a bigger space to live in, which may mean buying a house or bigger house. In an area with good schools. There's insurance to buy, college funds to think about. My husband and I lived a bohemian lifestyle until babies. Then we actually had to get real jobs with health insurance and retirement benefits. And buy a house. Whether you're pregnant or not, skip the big wedding. Save the money for a house downpayment. Have someone throw you a big party after eloping to FLA. and call it good. You're wise to elicit advice, indicating to me that you'll make a good Mommy. Blessings! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justagirliegirl Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Becoming is 100% right! People really can't fathom what it is like to care for another human 247 until it actually happens. There really is nothing to compare it to. I would say wait until after you are married first. Plus you are both very very young. I had a baby at the age of 20 and I missed my young adulthood. You both work now. can you afford to live on one income for awhile? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 If you are a woman of child bearing age please remember to take a folic acid supplement every day to prevent spina bifida. If you are thinking about getting pregnant take a prenatal vitamin supplement. Link to post Share on other sites
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