Me and My Sister

[KrZyJLyn]

Some times me and my sis are like the best of friends... and others, all she does is nag me. I'm 18, and she's three years younger. I'm a full time College Student.

 

I spend about 40 hours a week between classes and studying. I'm also a part time cashieer (gotta pay the bills some how). I have about a 65 hour week (on average) just doing what I have to do. And I'm not complaining about that.

 

The problem is, she's always complaining and yelling and screaming that I don't do anything around the house. She only screams when my parents arent home, and when they come home, they always end up siding with her. They think she's this angel child.

 

I think they love her boyfriend (who is here every day) more than they love me Between work and school, I'm lucky if I get to see my boyfriend 2-3 times a week, for about 15 hours total. They complain that all I do is see him!! I honestly don't think it's fair. And their's so much double standards between how me and my sister are treated!!

 

I dunno. I just don't know how to deal with it any more!! I would appreciate advice from anyone. I don't wanna start trouble with my family, but I don't know how to deal with it either!!

[whichwayisup]

Unfortunately, that is the thing...You can't do anything about it. Your folks probably are protective of her because she's the youngest and don't expect her to be responsible. Plus you say you're 18, so that would make her 15. Big difference in the sense of responsibilities...Your folks aren't going to put much on her because of her age. (and probably attitude too.) I know that sucks for you! I feel for you on this one.

 

You have to decide how much you are going to let this bother you. What I mean is, LIVE your life for you. Don't wait and hope for their approval.

 

Is it possible for you to look into moving? Maybe into residence or rent a place with some friends?

 

You can't change your parents (Trust me, I know, tried that and it didn't work!) but what you can do is slowly build up your confidence level and make boundries with them. If they treat you badly, you can say "I do well in school, I help out around the house, I work." Start being more independant. What I mean by that is, make your own decisions, appointments. (I'm not saying you rely on your mom/dad for those sort of things, but if you do you might want to change that.)

 

What are you scared of? The confrontation? The fear of letting them down? Or reaction, like them just getting angry with you? Do they hold grudges? Make you feel guilty?

 

Think about it all that and let me know. You're 18, probably soon going to be 19. You are a young adult with so much good in her life! Your parents should be priding you and encouraging you, not making you feel unloved. (Would you have the nerve to tell them what you posted about here?) Parents DO react if you tell them their actions hurt your feelings. Don't come from an angry place as that will make them feel defensive. I think in time, with some talking and listening - All of you can work through this.

 

Hope this helps! Keep posting!