E90Kitz721 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 My ex broke up with me almost 2mon. ago. Back then, the reason he gave was that he wasn't in love with me and he doesn't know if he would be. He said we should go back to being friends and see if things could start over. I was very hurt and assumed it was nice way of him saying "we're over." I stopped initiating contact about 2weeks after the break up because I didn't want to stay around and beg for him to come back if he's set on it. I forced myself to try to move on. Lately (about the past 3-4weeks), he started saying these things, I don't know how to read them and I don't want to overanalyze, but I was wondering if someone can help shed some light... 1. I told him I need to be completely out of his life to move on and that I can't talk to him anymore. He tried contacting me and said he doesn't want me out of his life and that he misses talking to me. 2. He told me that he's not ready to move on. I asked, not ready to move on as in moving on from "us" or moving on to someone else, he said both. 3. When I went near his area (we're LD, 400miles away) to visit a friend, he drove 45min to pick me up just to have coffee for an hr and talk. I got this flirty vibe from him. Is he thinking about wanting me back but is too hard-headed to say it straightforwardly? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 How long were you two together? Whatever, your ex sounds selfish & certainly doesn't care about your feelings or respect your wishes. 1. I told him I need to be completely out of his life to move on and that I can't talk to him anymore. He tried contacting me and said he doesn't want me out of his life and that he misses talking to me. Boo hoo. Maybe he should have thought of that before he told you he wasn't in love with you & didn't think he ever would be. How is it that he will grow to love you by 'just being friends' and seeing if things could start over? Sorry, but I think that is a bunch of crock. Right now he's just stringing you along. He is dictating to you the terms of your relationship, even though you supposedly don't have one right now. Whether or not you two can be friends is not up to him to decide. Is he thinking about wanting me back but is too hard-headed to say it straightforwardly? Who cares what he wants? What do you want? Link to post Share on other sites
Author E90Kitz721 Posted January 30, 2006 Author Share Posted January 30, 2006 Those are good points... We were together for a yr. I realize that I'm thinking a lot about what he wants like I've always been and I neglect my own feelings. The thing is, if he just tells me straight out that it's over and he doesn't want me around or he's seeing someone, it might have been easier to move on. But because of his ambiguous words/signals and his attempts to be "friends, "what I want" is getting clouded too. Yes I still miss what we had and the break up happened when I thought we were still happy and have a future together, which makes it difficult to take. But I also want to move on because I don't want someone who needs to dump me to realize what he had, if he ever does. Should I just tell him again that I really need to do NC and move on and stick with it? I'm going to be in his area again this week. I don't know if I should see him at all. Link to post Share on other sites
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