two years for nothing? Need !

[Guest#2]

Well, I guess I should start from the beggining.Sorry if this is kind of long.

About two years ago at the church I go to this family started coming. This girl caught my eye right off and I instantly had a crush on her.

I had just turned 15 at the time and she was 14. I also noticed that during the service she would turn around and look at me alot. The thing was was that I had never really had that much to do with girls (other than having some friends that were girls) so even though really I knew I just didn't really do much about it. Not having any girl friends was mostly I guess because of being home-schooled and not getting to get out that much. I'm normally shy around people I don't really know anyway so this was really hard for me to even talk to her. after a little while though I was able to talk to her without too much trouble and got to know her better.

Last summer the church youth group went on a trip and I thought that I would be able to tell her then since I would be with her all weekend. I almost did at one point but chickened out(yeah I know).

Anyway, fastforward to last week. I was thinking about asking her to come to my birthday party and my Mom said something also about that,so that kind of gave me a reason not to back out. All of the youth stayed after church to do some stuff. And I noticed that this guy was was kind of hanging around her more than normal but I didn't think much of it because I thought he already had a gf. So anyway before I left I asked her and she was like "ok, cool. are you meaning my whole family or just me?". So I told her I just ment her and she said she'd have to talk to her parents and make sure they weren't doing anything. So I thought ok good and I told her she could call me and let me know. I didn't really notice until now that she didn't say she'd have to see until AFTER I said I was just inviting her.

So today I asked her again if she could make it. She said she was meaning tell me something, she and this guy are together now for about a month. She was surprised I didn't notice it already. See they go to church on Wed. too and I don't so I guess I kind of missed out on that. So anyway she said she was sorry but she didn't think she should come.

I know that it's my fault for waiting so long to make a move, but I want to know what ya'll think I should do. Should I try to just be her friend for now and hope that it doesn't last long. Or should I just try to forget about her and wait until I meet somebody else. I really like her and I've always thought that if she didn't have feelings for me that I would still want to be her friend because I really like talking to her and hanging out with her at church. I'm just not sure right now but I don't know if that's just because it just happened or not.

Thanks in advance for the advice. Again Sorry if this was kind of long.

[Guest#2]

Sorry for the double post..

Let me change what I said at the end(I've got my head a little more straightened out now), I'd still like to be her friend, but should I just try to forget about my feelings for her and find someone else, wait and see what happens with them, or something else?

 

I'd kinda like to know why she didn't just tell me when I first asked her, but don't know about talking to her about this anymore right now. And I'm also curious if I would have had a chance before she got together with him(although I don't know if that really matters now).

Sorry if the above post was hard to read, the part toward the end is really what matters if you don't want to read the whole thing.

[jerbear]

I feel for you about chickening out. It happens to some, including me and I'm not 15 anymore.

 

I would suggest that you keep the romantic feelings off and go pursue other relationships. Keep her as a friend. I still have long deep true friendships from junior and high school; that I keep in contact. Especially at 15, you never know what may happen in another 15 years.

 

I say keep it at friendship, go ask other girls out, finish your education; then go from there.

[Guest#2]

Thanks for the advice.

I'll try to forget about those feelings, although that won't be very easy.

It's just that I still have this hope that something might happen between them before too long and I don't know if I'll be able to get that thought out of my head.

 

I guess I'll talk to her next week to make sure that everthing's cool between us and hope that this doesn't make it hard for us to be just friends. I don't know, she may not even think anything about it, I don't know for sure how she feels. it's probably just me that might have a problem because I've always had in my mind us being more than that.

Anyway,

Thanks Again for the advice.