Suicide attempt

[Mike14]

I am under A LOT of stress right now, and I did do a few suicide attempts resulting in one cut, anyway, I just do not know what to do anymore, because my mother is acting EXTREMELY aggressive for the reason of myself being sent out of Barbara Bush Middle for making suicide threats to myself. I am really stressed about many things, and my mother is being b***** about this!!

I recently did another attempt, because my mother was yelling at me when I got home, and this attempt resulted in the cut that I have on my hand.

My mother just does not understand that I am lots of stress, and that yelling will make things worse. Is there anthing I can do about this?

 

THX

[bluetuesday]

talk to someone, mike.

 

talk to your mother, another family member, your doctor, a counsellor, a priest, the samaritans. just talk to someone about how you're feeling and how it makes you want to hurt yourself. there is a lot of good advice and practical help available if you seek it.

 

whatever it is you're going through, you don't have to do it alone.

[Touche]

Why don't you write her a letter. Suicide is not the answer. In only 4 years you'll be on your own. This IS a very hard age. I remember it. But it will pass and you'll be very happy again. I know it doesn't feel like that now but trust me, it will pass and better days will come.

 

Please stop trying to hurt yourself. I'm a mother and yell at my son sometimes too but I'd just die if anything ever happened to him. Your mother I'm sure, feels the same way. Please write her a note. Tell her what you feel and what you need from her.

 

And come here and talk to us. Hang in there Mike, ok?

[Mike14]

I'm not sure, my mother will just not listen to me, she will just keep blaming me!

I do not even want to try to write a letter, that will not help a bit!

I have never felt this helpless in my life. When I said to her "Please stop blaming me here, it is not my fault!" she replied "Oh, come on, give it a break!", I do not know what the h** is wrong with my mother, but, she needs to seriously change her attitude and listen to me for the first time! So, is there really not a single thing to do about this?

[Becoming]

You know, Mike, when I realized my parents were never going to love me the way I'd always wanted but never got, I was about 14 and thought seriously about committing suicide just to show them. What I realized is that whatever I did didn't matter to them; they were too wrapped up in their own world to give me more than food and shelter and clothing. I was never going to get what I wanted from them.

 

What I'm saying is that you're just going to have to forget trying to get your mother to be/do anything. You're going to have to take care of yourself. This isn't fair; you're so young, don't know how, etc. But there it is. And really, once you get this and are grateful that you aren't living on the street eating out of garbage cans or turning tricks for pervs, you realize you can make it.

 

Make an appt. to talk to your school counselor when you get back to school, and make yourself scarce at home to avoid all the verbal abuse it sounds like you're getting. Immerse yourself in studying to make something of your life that will be far away from what you're experiencing now.

 

There are many folks who made it out of abusive situations, but it takes a lot of work. SURVIVE. Be polite to your parents but distant and find some good friends who can fill some of the needs for others that you have. But make sure they're good people who won't get you mixed up in drinking, drugs, etc. That just makes you feel worse in the long run. Keeping a journal helps, too.

You're a good writer for someone in middle school, so try expressing yourself in words rather than cutting.

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Mike, do you have a close friend that you can talk to...and perhaps even talk to his or her parents? Or is there an aunt or uncle you can go to for help?

 

Becoming is right... if your mom is responding to you in that way, it's not only NOT your fault, but it means that she is incapable of understanding what you NEED for her understand. And I'm so sorry that she's not there for you the way you need her to be. Perhaps in time, when emotions aren't running so high, she will realize this. But please don't wait around for things to change at home before you get help. You're very sad and need to reach out to another adult who can help you get some comforting therapy, and perhaps even some medication which will make you feel better. Please let us know how you are doing, and stay in touch!

[Mike14]

Thanks for the replies!

 

I am unfortunately not going to be heading back to Barbara Bush Middle School until I go to a physcologist, and I just fear that I will have quite alot of make-up work to worry about, and the way I am being treated. So, I am wondering, should I just stay in my bedroom all day tommorow to prevent in-house confrontations, or is there something else I should do? The problem is, that my friends will be at school tommorow, while I wait for my parents to scedule my physcology appointment, there will be no one to talk to, my uncle Joshua and my aunt Magenta will be at work. So, what will be best for me so I don't end up getting a panic attack?

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Find the number for your local crisis hotline (look in the yellow pages under crisis hotline or suicide prevention...or check the internet). Keep it and the phone with you. Also, find something to do to occupy the time and your mind. Drawing, reading, watching movies...whatever. And of course, come here if you need to.

[Mike14]

I'm going to a physcologist tommorow, and I will need some advice on what to do while I'm speaking with the physcologist. I have been to a physcologist before, but, I'm afraid that if I am too honest about everything that is in occurence, the physcologist may throw me into a not very good position. I would also like some advice on what I could do to try to prevent my self from going to the position I'm at right now, again.

 

THX

[Becoming]

Tell the psychologist just what you said here. Just be honest.

 

You strike me as unusually aware of your feelings, and this is good. It also has its drawbacks, of course.

 

Hang in there, and let the psychologist help by being honest about what's happening to you. I wish I'd had that opportunity when I was young. It would have saved a lot of heartache.

 

Don't forget to mention the panic attacks you're afraid of. You may have a chemical imbalance that needs treatment. That may mean you'll need to see another dr., but that's ok. You need to get some help with everything so you can go on to get the good life you deserve.

 

Blessings and prayers!