cal gal Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 As I was reading your original post - you said they were friends before you married, eight years ago.... Soooo this so called friendshipp has been going on for more than eight years? I'm sorry but I have been very close to some male friends for years, some sexual innuendos and some not - but NEVER would I consider sending nude photos of myself to them even tho I love them dearly. They obviously have a MUCH more intimate relationship than you realise and what he is admitting to. He has made her the fall guy in prompting her in his original e-mail that he sent after you found the pics. She just followed suit so as for him to not have so much trouble. I believe this has been sexual and hot and heavy for at least several years... she is stroking his ego in some areas that he finds of interest. Your only decision now is to either stay with a cheater or be on your own. I have NO doubt that his attachment to her was deep seeded. He's just being smart about her covering for him, that in itself is lousy for her! She probably "loves" him enough to cover though..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author benditlikebeckham Posted February 14, 2006 Author Share Posted February 14, 2006 tweldy :- yes, you are right on the spot with your words. I think you have nailed the situation. My problem is that I don't know what to do from here onwards ? Trust my husband and my gut feeling, because he's been faithful to me through and through or should I seek some help. I am starting to think as if I am the problem ! I know that he has always tried to help others first then himself. He likes to be around happy people and hates confrontation of all sorts. I think this girl was just there needing all the help and attention in the world and my husband was there to hear her. He keeps telling me that SHE was clingy towards him and NOT the other way round. He only spoke with her when he was bored and he says that she always asked him why he was not on MSN and/or emailed her. He says his personal attempts at talking to her via email or chat were far and few. Link to post Share on other sites
tweldy Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 If you have the financial means I would recommend counseling. A good counselor will be able to help you as a couple and perhaps your husband individually. Finding a good one can be difficult though. Your husband may have a lot personal work he needs to do to resolve some deep seated issues. Also, if I'm off on this and he's really got more sexual involvement, a good counselor is going to identify these things and bring them out in the open. If he readily agrees to counseling that will be a good sign as well as it will indicate that he recognizes that his behavior is not trivial and that you deserve someone who will own up to their faults and show that they are willing to address them to give you confidence that they won't go down that road again. Link to post Share on other sites
Chump64 Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 Install a keylogger on your computer so you know exactly what his role is. It sounds very suspicious. Cal Gal is spot on. My gut feeling (like hers) is that these two are quite involved and have been for some time. You need to focus on your husband and not this other woman. It's very likely that he is using an email account that you don't have access to / probably don't know about, and the two of them conspired and co-wrote her "apology" to you (as well as his response). This smells very rotten. Link to post Share on other sites
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