Little123 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Me and my boyfriend are both 24 years old and have been together for almost 2 years. We are both in the military and love each other very much. He has a son with another woman from a previous relationship. The problem is I am very much not a kid person. It hasn't started bothering me until recently because a few things have occured that made me aware of his presence in our relationship. He only has custody of him every other weekend but those weekends are very hard for us. Besides that our relationship is the best anyone could have. I am definatly willing to push through this because we love each other so much and I would never want to intrude on their relationship, but its hard for me. I'm sure I sound very selfish but I can't help feeling inferior to his kid. I just got relocated to a different station so I don't know many people and need someone to talk to for some advice. Any thoughts on how I can learn to accept and deal with this? Thank you for your help. Link to post Share on other sites
Flicker Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Just some questions, Have you thought about why it is that you are not a kid person? Does your boyfriend know how you feel? If not it is probably a good idea to let him know that you feel like you are competing for his affections with his child. I guarantee you that he will not see it that way at all. I'll bet that he has you and his child in two completely different compartments in his mind. I don't think you are being selfish. Instead of taking this all on yourself, I think you should ask your partner to help you. After all, it's his problem too. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Yes Flicker is right. A man's children occupy a different place in his heart. I can assure you that there is no competition in his head, except that he may be aware of your discomfort. You must talk to him, or a wedge may be driven between you and him, or his child and him. Please don't make him choose, its a situation he will not be able to deal with. This child is a part of him. You do not have to like the child, but you must respect the father/child union they have. Link to post Share on other sites
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