What constitutes a good male-female friendship?what does it take to truly kno someone

[Mydish1]

Anyway first off im the type of guy that's probably a little closed off to ppl.

usually my girl problems and whatnots i tell my good guy buddies.

 

So anyway before becoming friends with this girl, we were dating, were a lot more intimate, and a lot more close (as in talking about more personal thoughts or feelings).

 

But ever since we agreed to become just friends. i find us starting to drift apart. not literally, but we just talk about daily stuff that happened or what our plans are. i find we lost the closeness/openess we had when we were dating compared to now.

 

Well im not sure but i think its my fault anyway. usually i dont reveal much about myself to a person, unless they ask or i feel the need to. i guess the case with her is that i perceive her as a female and dont want her to see my weaknesses/flaws as a man. the attraction for each other is there but we're not acting on it.

 

im not really sure, if this is normal for things like this to take its course.

But i would like this friendship to grow and not stay the way it is....

any suggestions are welcome.

and also, we usually talk online, so i think that could be one of the main problems....

[Toronto]

Yes, that's one of the problems. Physical closeness, connecting with someone, being sensitive to body language and subtleties in moods, those are all very important in any kind of relationship. It sounds like the two of you need a good laugh together.

[jerbear]

It is hard sometimes. I have some good female friends from long time ago and tell her many things. Deep secrets and actions. We just sort of ended up being friends from the getco. From my point of view, she is just like one of the guys and "I'm one of the girls."

 

My experiences are if there are any history as in relationship; I would back away by distance and communications. I would keep contact to a minimum and have a need to know basis.

[Mydish1]

thx for the input.

 

jerbear, you make a good point.

to me, i treat her like one of the guys. im not hte type of person to pour out deep secrets or whatever to, especially not to a girl.

But you just made me realize where the fault is, i've been treating her more like one of the guys since we're friends now. and i avoid girl talk....i guess it all makes sense now.