Having trouble understanding being a balanced? CaliGuy's guide to being balanced!

[alphamale]

I just saw this post now. I can't believe that this has been up since late January. This is brilliant. I give you props CG.

I still think its borderline plagarism from my thread

[Pyro]

I still think its borderline plagarism from my thread

 

I will admit that there are a couple of points that can be compared to a couple of yours, but for the most part, I believe that CG's guide is right on the money.

[ReluctantRomeo]

I still think its borderline plagarism from my thread

 

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. And CG presents a similar concept in a very different style.

[starlight2025]

Having a hard time understanding how to be a balanced guy?? Here's where you want to be in the most simplistic manner possible.

 

NICE GUY <---- BALANCED ----> JERK

 

Some examples of the differences between the three:

• Nice guys do everything to make everyone else happy at their own expense.
  
• Balanced guys know they must be happy before they can make anyone else happy.
  
• Jerks only care about their own happiness.

• Nice guys might have boundaries but don't have repercussions for crossing them.
  
• Balanced guys have boundaries and have repercussions for crossing them.
  
• Jerks have boundaries and enforce them vehemently.

• Nice guys make their S/O the reason they exist.
  
• Balanced guys make their S/O a part of their already happy/fun life.
  
• Jerks feel their S/O should be happy to be a part of their life.

• Nice guys will say "it's ok" when she treats you badly.
  
• Balanced guys will let her know when she treated him badly but will never use the words "it's ok."
  
• Jerks will get angry, use profanity and dump their S/O right away if they are treated badly.

• Nice guys will give third, fourth or fifth chances.
  
• Balanced guys will give two chances. (Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me.)
  
• Jerks give one chance only.

• Nice guys shower their S/O with money, gifts and love. They give too much and expect too much.
  
• Balanced guys give on special occasions, with little expectations.
  
• Jerks rarely give at all.

• Nice guys say "I love you" far too soon in a relationship.
  
• Balanced guys say "I love you" when they know the feelings are mutual.
  
• Jerks might say I love you after a good BJ, but they don't mean it.

• Nice guys call too much, email too much, IM too much - they're annoying.
  
• Balanced guys calls once or twice a week, responds to emails within 1-2 days and doesn't IM all the time.
  
• Jerks never call, almost never return an email and rarely IM.

• Nice guys seek approval from others.
  
• Balanced guys seek approval from within.
  
• Jerks could care less about approval.

• Nice guys lack confidence and self-esteem.
  
• Balanced guys have healthy confidence and self-esteem, but are not arrogant.
  
• Jerks are just arrogant.

• Nice guys put their S/O on a pedestle.
  
• Balanced guys see their S/O as an equal.
  
• Jerks look down upon their S/O.

• Nice guys will offer to help fix their S/O's problems when all their S/O wants them to do is listen and validate their feelings.
  
• Balanced guys will listen to their S/O's problems and validate her feelings but not offer to fix them.
  
• Jerks will just tell their S/O to quit bitching.

There are many more examples but this should be enough to get the general idea planted in your head of how a balanced man thinks.

 

 

Ever since I read this guide I have made it my goal to call my girlfriend only once or twice a week and no more. I've also recently made it my goal to wait 1-2 days before returning phone calls, replying to e-mails, text messages.

 

The only problem is that my girlfriend called me last night leaving a voice message asking me to call her back ASAP because she was upset that I haven't returned her call yet. I did call her back like 20 minutes after I got her voicemail. She didn't even give me 24 hours to return her call before she got upset. In this situation do you think I should have still waited 1-2 days or did I do the right thing by returning her call ASAP?

[ReluctantRomeo]

In this situation do you think I should have still waited 1-2 days or did I do the right thing by returning her call ASAP?

 

The 1-2 day thing has gotta be a guideline only, for the early stages of dating - you shouldn't be frustrating or upsetting the poor girl.

 

I'd recommend you try to cultivate the right attitude, rather than following rules and counting minutes. The right attitude is kind and strong at the same time.

 

So use your judgement in this scenario - if she needs emotional support and reassurance from the man she loves, she should have this. And promptly. On the other hand, if you think she is trying to control you by emotional outbursts, then kindly but firmly deal with this.

[Bogun]

So anymore CaliGuy guides in the pipeline?

[visotech]

I guess im the typical nice guy...after reading this I can see that maybe being a "nice guy" isn't something to pride oneself in...time to make a shift for the better to balanced guy

 

 

Thanks CaliGuy

[Pyro]

I guess im the typical nice guy...after reading this I can see that maybe being a "nice guy" isn't something to pride oneself in...time to make a shift for the better to balanced guy

 

 

Thanks CaliGuy

 

Being nice is fine, but you have to add a little kick to it. Being balanced means to be nice but also be aware of if and when your S.O. tries to walk all over you.

[radiation7740]

This guide is good for laughs. I think I"ll use it in my next relationship.