Stabbed in the Back! You won't believe how low she went...

[sweetpea01]

I was just completely stabbed in the back by my roommate. I recently started grad school, and also recently broke up with my bf of close to 4 yrs. I started to talk to a guy in my class - and started to like him. I would tell my roommate all the time how cute he was and how I was starting to be interested in someone after the breakup...but wanted to take it slow. She encouraged me. So, over a period of 6 weeks - I would talk to him when I could, but in a nice, classy, casual way. Last week, some of the class went out for drinks, and she did too. She got pretty drunk, and by the time I got there she was practically sitting on his lap. I sort of gave him a look - but he isn't my bf, much less dating me...so I couldnt say anything. He and I had talked about our mutual interest/attraction for one another, but we obviously owed each other nothing. So, I went to a different bar, where I had a couple drinks - and ended up texting him to invite him there. He flew right over to where I was - and we started to hold hands and talk and dance and hang out, and kiss. My roommate was there too...and looking mighty pissed off. I didnt know why...I thought if anything she should be happy for me. My class is small and I didnt want gossip - so we ran outside the club/bar to kiss some more and then ran back to his house where we....slept! I wasnt' goign to have sex and he was a gentleman about it. Next morning, he walks me home...and I notice her drive by and see us walking and holding hands. Being ever so sneaky, she waitied til he was walking back home - picked him up in her car - went back home with him - and I think she tried to have sex with him! I was shocked! She absolutely couldnt stand him being with me. Then she comes home, pretends nothing happened - and tells me she is going out to study. I knew she was going back to his house, so I texted him saying that if he was hanging out with her, they didnt need to hide it from me, and that it was all good. I left it at that. I was pretty hurt that he would mess with someone after just walking me home, and angry that she would go for him anyway. But, I didnt want a hostile house, so I was civil to her. On Monday I ignored him in class - though he tried to say hi to me many times. Today he tried to be cute and playful with me, but I didnt go along with it, and I think he got the hint that I was pissed - which makes him try harder to get my attention. I just feel stabbed in the back by this girl - b/c she told everyone I went to his house and had sex with him, and that I am cheating on my bf. She knows very well we didn't have sex and that I broke up with my bf. And it hurts me a little to see her and him talk all the time...even though its always her running across the room to get a second of his time. Is there anything to say in this situation to either of them? Or just let it be? Should I and do I have any right to be upset with him?

 

Sweetpea

[basscatcher]

I was just completely stabbed in the back by my roommate. I recently started grad school, and also recently broke up with my bf of close to 4 yrs. I started to talk to a guy in my class - and started to like him. I would tell my roommate all the time how cute he was and how I was starting to be interested in someone after the breakup...but wanted to take it slow. She encouraged me. So, over a period of 6 weeks - I would talk to him when I could, but in a nice, classy, casual way. Last week, some of the class went out for drinks, and she did too. She got pretty drunk, and by the time I got there she was practically sitting on his lap. I sort of gave him a look - but he isn't my bf, much less dating me...so I couldnt say anything. He and I had talked about our mutual interest/attraction for one another, but we obviously owed each other nothing. So, I went to a different bar, where I had a couple drinks - and ended up texting him to invite him there. He flew right over to where I was - and we started to hold hands and talk and dance and hang out, and kiss. My roommate was there too...and looking mighty pissed off. I didnt know why...I thought if anything she should be happy for me. My class is small and I didnt want gossip - so we ran outside the club/bar to kiss some more and then ran back to his house where we....slept! I wasnt' goign to have sex and he was a gentleman about it. Next morning, he walks me home...and I notice her drive by and see us walking and holding hands. Being ever so sneaky, she waitied til he was walking back home - picked him up in her car - went back home with him - and I think she tried to have sex with him! I was shocked! She absolutely couldnt stand him being with me. Then she comes home, pretends nothing happened - and tells me she is going out to study. I knew she was going back to his house, so I texted him saying that if he was hanging out with her, they didnt need to hide it from me, and that it was all good. I left it at that. I was pretty hurt that he would mess with someone after just walking me home, and angry that she would go for him anyway. But, I didnt want a hostile house, so I was civil to her. On Monday I ignored him in class - though he tried to say hi to me many times. Today he tried to be cute and playful with me, but I didnt go along with it, and I think he got the hint that I was pissed - which makes him try harder to get my attention. I just feel stabbed in the back by this girl - b/c she told everyone I went to his house and had sex with him, and that I am cheating on my bf. She knows very well we didn't have sex and that I broke up with my bf. And it hurts me a little to see her and him talk all the time...even though its always her running across the room to get a second of his time. Is there anything to say in this situation to either of them? Or just let it be? Should I and do I have any right to be upset with him?

 

Sweetpea

 

sounds like he is playing both of you. He is getting double attention and wants double pleasure.. Your roommate is not your friend.. She is a vixen.. Get rid of her before she interfers in all your relationships.

I wouldn't waste my time in that man.. He is obviously enjoying the cattyness of the two of you mocking each other over him...

[sweetpea01]

Yea, I realize that they are BOTH soooo not worth it. I have more issues with her than him. I guess that I just mistook his intentions...and him wanting to sleep around is just what he wants. Not what I want...but his own choice. But she was malicious to me, and that's not right. Thing is...he is 24, I am 25, and she is 32..... so you kinda wonder why she is still acting this way!

 

Anyway, if I were younger...I would probably A) put up with it and go out with him anyway or B) go out with him to spite her.

 

But, since I am not as immature as she is, I am just going to do my own thing an not get caught up in stupid crap like that. I just can't believe she would get so nasty with me to make herself look better.

[monkey00]

meh...women.

 

they can never be trusted. the sad truth is that you ARE cheating on your bf, but you're just denying the facts because nothing intimate happened.

 

for women its always about competition and feeding their egos. even if you may be friends with girls, they will easily step on the friendship to chase the 'great catch guy'. altho your roomate isnt your friend, it's exactly what happened.

 

and my last point. the guy has no obligation to 'date' ONLY you, you are not exclusive with him, he is not your bf. if u want to get angry at him, then so be it.

 

im not going to apologize for being blunt, but im just stating the facts lady...

[basscatcher]

meh...women.

 

they can never be trusted. the sad truth is that you ARE cheating on your bf, but you're just denying the facts because nothing intimate happened.

 

for women its always about competition and feeding their egos. even if you may be friends with girls, they will easily step on the friendship to chase the 'great catch guy'. altho your roomate isnt your friend, it's exactly what happened.

 

and my last point. the guy has no obligation to 'date' ONLY you, you are not exclusive with him, he is not your bf. if u want to get angry at him, then so be it.

 

im not going to apologize for being blunt, but im just stating the facts lady...

 

It's all about R-E-S-P-E-C-T... Her so-called gf/roommate did'nt respect her interest in the guy. The guy surely didn 't respect her by playing cat and mouse with her gf with you..

 

PERIOD.....

[phyrespryte]

meh...women.

 

they can never be trusted. the sad truth is that you ARE cheating on your bf, but you're just denying the facts because nothing intimate happened.

 

 

She isn't cheating on her b/f because she doesn't have a b/f.

 

Have to agree with Padameckla...the guy and your roommate were totally out of line. Get rid of that roommate! And forget that guy he's very inconsiderate.

[crazy_grl]

Thing is...he is 24, I am 25, and she is 32..... so you kinda wonder why she is still acting this way!

 

Holy s#^&! 32!!! By her behavior, I would've guessed she was just out of high school, possibly around 21, and no older than 25 at most. That really is proof that maturity doesn't always come with age.

 

meh...women.

 

they can never be trusted. the sad truth is that you ARE cheating on your bf, but you're just denying the facts because nothing intimate happened.

 

As phyrespryte pointed out, she doesn't have a bf to be cheating on. She has an ex bf.

 

for women its always about competition and feeding their egos. even if you may be friends with girls, they will easily step on the friendship to chase the 'great catch guy'.

 

Yes, that's the way it is with all women. Please share more of your great wisdom on the ways of wimmin folk.

 

and my last point. the guy has no obligation to 'date' ONLY you, you are not exclusive with him, he is not your bf. if u want to get angry at him, then so be it.

 

I agree except for the "so be it" part which to me implies that she'll be losing out on something or hurting herself by getting upset at him. That's not the case at all. She just won't have to put with a loser who can't even have enough respect for women to do his dating around with someone she doesn't share a living space with. In any case, she doesn't seem to be that mad at him, at least not unreasonably so. To me, it just seems like she's smart enough to spot a loser when she sees one, so instead of "so be it" I'd finish that sentence with "good for you".

 

im not going to apologize for being blunt, but im just stating the facts lady...

 

You don't have to appologize for "being blunt" and "stating the facts" (which aren't facts at all), but you might want to put some more thought into your words next time before you hit the 'submit' button.

 

sweatpea, since you're not dating the guy, there's not much need to deal with him. Just be rid of him. Just like he doesn't owe you anything, you don't owe him either, so you don't even need to offer him much explanation if you don't want. But since you're stuck with your roommate, you ought to have a talk with her and tell her that you don't appreciate what she's done. Also, since she's proven herself untrustworthy, don't trust her with much info about your personal / love life. In case things don't go well during the talk, how long are you stuck with her as a roommate and is there any chance you can kick her out or move out yourself?

[sweetpea01]

Whoever said I was cheating on my BF is absolutely wrong. If you read my post you would see that he and I broke up already.

 

Thx for the replies guys. This happened last Saturday, so by today I am pretty much ok about it. I wasn't SUPER angry at the guy...just more surprised that he turned out to be as inconsiderate/disrespectful as he was. I mean, he can do his thing...but how about with people that dont share a bathroom?

 

Anyway, I have class with him daily, and completely tuned him out. He's been trying his best to get my attention...but oh well...you had me once and you screwed up. I am not looking to get caught up with the player type. I want someone with class.

 

As for my roommate - it is completely superficial now. I just realized what I can and can't say to her...and I am as courteous as I need to be. Nothing more, and nothing less. It is funny tho...b/c even in front of her, he will still try to talk to me. She is a student in my class too...which makes it even more weird.

 

Anyway, thanks for the input guys! I sure did learn alot about ppl...I wish people would stop going to any length to get ahead.

 

I just found out that when he was walking me home, she was parked outside his place and waiting for us so she could snatch him up. It's just too weird for me.... He's cute...but so are alot of guys.

 

SP