... how can i save this???

[NYCGuy]

I need some outside perspective on this, and I stumbled across this site. I am hoping someone out there can offer some fresh advice.

My gf and my have been dating for almost a year now. In the last week or two she has been pushing me away both physically and emotionally. Our physical relationship has been slowing down for the past 6 months, but I didn’t push the issue because she said it was do to the stress of work and school (getting her phd).

We are perfect together is every single way, but the slow down in our physical relationship has let us start to drift into the friend zone. Her best friend says that all I need to do is seduce her again, and get that spark back, and that she thinks things will work out because she really does love me.

The problem is she says we are now just ‘dating’. I honestly don’t believe there is another guy, and I believe her when she says that there isn’t. But she needs this time to “find herself”??? How can I let her do that without letting her grow even farther away?

My problem is how can I seduce her again if lack of intimacy is the issue? We have gone from being together 5 days a week to not seeing her in almost 2 weeks. I am doing everything I can think of to show her I want this to work out. I joined a gym (cant hurt to lose a few pounds in the new year), I’ve gone out with my friends the last couple weekends, and I am going away this weekend so she can get her school work down (dissertation).

I just don’t know what the next step is. It’s killing me but I don’t know what to do. I really think this can be saved, but only if I do the right things, and soon. . Do I ask to see her this Sunday when I come back? Ignore her until nest week (our anniversary btw). Do I ask her if she still is in love with me (she says she loves me and ‘misses me more than words can say’), but she could mean that in many ways I guess.

I am trying to show her that I can survive just fine without her, and in reality I can.

I just don’t want the most amazing person I have ever met get away.

 

Sorry for the short story, I just need to get this off my chest.

Thank you to anyone who can offer some advice.

[Mary3]

I think its over. All the classic signs of someone wanting to end it. Do not go by what she says but by what she DOES !

[gfto]

I agree with Mary. You've already been dumped; you're just not seeing it yet. I don't mean to be so blunt, but it's just the bottom line. I'd just quit talking to her. Don't call. And, I'd forget the anniversary too. After all, she told you that you're "just dating" and she needs to "find herself." There's nothing to celebrate here.