No Stress Lady Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Originally Posted by No Stress Lady As you said - if the OW knows someone is married from the outset then she really has to expect that it's probably going to go nowhere or end in disappointment - anyone getting involved with a MM makes a DECISION to do so and, as I said in another thread, if you can't live with the (very well documented) consequences of your choices then you shouldn't be going down that road in the first place!!!! this is about as true as saying "the woman who gets involved with a physically abusive man/alcoholic should pretty much live with the consequences". okay, its partly true, it is also a very narrow viewpoint. when people choose unwisely, then obviously they have problems which need sorting out, but you are implying it is a very clear and conscious decision for all ow to set out and get involved with a mm. it is no more clear in reality than it is for the woman who becomes emotionally entangled and involved with an abusive alcoholic. That's just my viewpoint Newbby - maybe it's blunt but that's just me - I just think it's pretty tragic that so many OW who clearly have so much love to offer are emotionally trapped in situations going nowhere - my posts are maybe focused more towards those OW who are on the brink and maybe haven't really thought about the true consequences of the emotional grinder they're about to jump into. I know how easy it is for affairs to develop - I've been the OW myself on a few occasions - and I certainly know at least one cakeman. "Buyer Beware" !!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 i agree with you, it is pretty tragic and the ow (not how) really need to recognise that it is their problem if they are staying in a situation that they are not happy with. Link to post Share on other sites
Alison Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Wow. This really hits everything on the head. My MM has so efficiently compartmentalized his R with his W and with me that it seems as if he is two different people. Since we split, I have called twice and so has he. Today, he actually called to tell me that he is still dreaming of spending his life with me, but that he realizes that because of the way he is (Cakeman) he knows that it is impossible. As if he always thought that it was possible to live 2 lives. It's so hard for me to understand why someone would want to live in such turmoil, destroying both relationships at the same time. Although he went back to his W, he still thinks that I will be content to travel with him and spend 6 months a year with him. Well, I said NO WAY and have said nothing different for 3 years. This time, I am stronger, though very depressed about the split. NC is good for me. It hurts like hell, but I know that it is the best thing. And, I don't feel stupid. Only used, even though I know that he loves me. I don't fit into such a small compartment. I want the whole container or nothing. After reading these posts, I realize that it is probably impossible with this man. Thanks for reinforcing what I already suspected. Link to post Share on other sites
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