In Sync Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 I officially can say I've completed 3 months of NC. I am so much happier for it. I can honestly say I would never want to go back to that relationship or anything near it. I owe much of my growth to you guys/gals on LS and my guardian angel my mom watching over me..( I think ) I have been enjoying my life again...it feels sooooo good to have that anchor released from my neck and feel my heart breathe again. I can't believe my state of where I was to where I am now. I can't even believe I was the same person. I enjoy laughing and lately I've been doing that alot. Thank you all for being supportive....I thought that breakup and losing my mom would crush me to no end...Though I miss my mother dearly..I've absolutely have no feeling of loss for the X... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fooled Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 Way to go!!! Congratulations!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 That's wonderful. Good for you! Link to post Share on other sites
UT_longhorn Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 congratulations in sync! can you tell me how you feel now? do you still think about your ex? what ways do you think about ex? are you completely over him? im so sorry about your mother as well. i know she is by your side and smiling for you with pride. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Allright... way to go In Sync... Keep up the healing Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Congrats In Sync. You've come a long way! Link to post Share on other sites
Author In Sync Posted February 3, 2006 Author Share Posted February 3, 2006 congratulations in sync! can you tell me how you feel now? do you still think about your ex? what ways do you think about ex? are you completely over him? im so sorry about your mother as well. i know she is by your side and smiling for you with pride. Thank you, in answer to your question, I do think of my ex, but it's not filled with that longing and wanting him back in my life. I have come too see him as a negative energy that had consumed whatever positive energy I had within me. I see myself as having been depleted during the time I NC'd and now I've recharged myself. I feel confident, I feel lovely and damn good about me. Just as there are people who are loving and caring and surrounding yourself uplifts you, I was shut off from that while with him. That alone makes me never ever want to go back to that relationship. The only sadness I feel is knowing I didn't value myself more..but when you are under a dark veil there cannot be any lightness of being. I'm sort of grateful that he pulled the plug. Otherwise I may still be in that macabre relationship where nothing grew, except my misery. This overwhelming feeling freedom from that state of suffering is incredibly intoxicating.. He is history. Link to post Share on other sites
UT_longhorn Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 thats so awsome. i cant wait till im there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author In Sync Posted February 3, 2006 Author Share Posted February 3, 2006 thats so awsome. i cant wait till im there. You will GET there. I truly believe that each of you have the capacity to get to this place of freedom of want of your X, the moment you adhere to NC. Yes it is a personal struggle but what personal gain comes with struggle. I am so PROUD of myself for walking through that fire. Mind you everyone here jumped in to help with encouragment when I felt weak and wanted desparately to call him or write a silly e-mail..I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT YOU ALL INTERVENED..Look, I am proud because I can say to myself I didn't need to go to him for "Closure". I don't need my X's approval or words, oranything to heal or recover. I discovered I am stronger than I immagined. I was a blubbering mess crying and curl of in a ball of pain...and guess what I uncurled myself and found support and discovered people (although I can't physically see you) but I felt your kindness and nurturing..so why would I expect contacting the X to provide that anymore...don't need him for that, afterall he didn't provide it before why would he when he dumped me. Look, some of you may desparately want to contact your X seeking answers...no one can stop you. I am just here to say, give yourself credit. You are stronger than you think. Having faith in yourself and the will to not need them for closure IS the only closure you need. With that you can smile and pat yourself on the back, for discovering that secret magic answer. Link to post Share on other sites
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