soar eyes Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 I have posted this question several ways with some help. I will try to tackle one issue at a time. I have a 4 yr old child by an exbf that I still have feelings for even though we haven't had a true relationship since 1 year after her birth. A typical scenerio is I usually see him at least once a week when I bring her to his house and talk to him a couple of times a week. He wants to be friends with benefits. I am filling my life with other things but the times that I have to see him, he still gives me love taps and is so warm and fuzzy. It seems like he is getting warmer as time is going on. However he is still firm with no committment towards me. I did good yesterday when I dropped off my daughter, I was genuinely nice to him, trying not to be rude and rush out of the door (as I have done) so many times to try and keep things simple. I was walking out the door and he said "Aren't you going to hug me?" and thats when he did a little love tap. I guess its these type of gestures from him that get to me. I really need some suggestions on how to handle this. Even suggestions from a mans point of view would be greatly appreciated. I am already making some better choices to help me move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 If you don't want him to do that (love taps, etc.) tell him you aren't interested. Or avoid him by dropping the child off at the door. Link to post Share on other sites
Roo-bie2 Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 As long as you don't establish boundries and keep them he will cross them. Learn to say no and mean it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladylay Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Get somebody else to drop off the child, Or take somebody with you to hand over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author soar eyes Posted February 6, 2006 Author Share Posted February 6, 2006 As long as you don't establish boundries and keep them he will cross them. Learn to say no and mean it. I'm too weak to mean it at this point in my life. If you don't want him to do that (love taps, etc.) tell him you aren't interested. Or avoid him by dropping the child off at the door. I'm so frustrated at this point because I still want him but I'm tired of being rejected. He knows this is how I feel, so he doesn't even respect when I tell him I'm not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Well then until you grow a backbone, you'll have to put up with it. There's no magic bullet here. What about the suggestions to bring someone with you? Or have someone else drop child off? Link to post Share on other sites
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