whatwentwrong Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 I have been with my hubbie for 30 years and he has just told me that he was sexually abused in highschool and 3 months later he left me. Please is there anyone out there who is the wife of a male sexual abuse survivor Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 First off you have to tell yourself that it's not because of you! All of us who has been threw any kind of abuse especially sexual abuse is a very hard thing to let others know of right off the back. Shame, guilt, sadness, depression, isolation etc. All those words one way or another describe how they or there abuser feels. To be married for 30 years then he opens up to tell you about a private matter he kept within himself, is the time he felt to tell you being his wife. You must support him and respect how he chooses to handle this situation. Because he now feels shallow and it's a past that has been with him for years that it's all comming out and overwhelming for him it's was the just that time he felt confident enough to tell you. He may have felt that you look at him differently. You may tell him you don't but he is the victim and it's hard for him to look at you because of what he told you is TOO MUCH all at once at that time. So give him space to think and feel out years of aggression towards himself. Read books or seek a psychologist to give you advice. Remember this is a PRIVATE MATTER FOR HIM! So as a spouse respect that privacy and not spill the beans to anyone but him and you. Do not involve family or friends it's a private matter that is sensative. The last thing he needs is people to look at him differently when he is around people you know. Good Luck!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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