update on angry 30 y/o and 18y/o

[melody]

just a note of update on this scenario. now the angry 30y/o man is telling me he doesn't want me to call him. he will call me. i am feeling controlled by this. so i told him i deserve better treatment. i also told him he has been rude and disrespectul and to talk to his 18 year old like that not me. i have decided to not take his calls anymore and informed him of that. for what it was worth while it lasted this has just caused unnecessary pain and emotional distress. but he is totally unaware of the pain he is causing by his actions and i don't have the energy anymore to inform him so i think i am better off without him. that's the end of it. it will not be easy but i'd rather be without the pain and disrespect. another chapter in the book of love and life, better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all as the saying goes.

[Tony T]

This man's age is totally irrelevant. People can have controlling behaviors at any age. You'd be surprised how many two-year-olds have total control over their parents.

 

Keep an open mind in the future and judge each relationship on its merit. There are lots of older men who are relatively sane and who might make good partners for you.

 

Just pay attention like you did here. You did right by cutting things off early in the game.

[midori]

Hi Melody,

 

I remember your post from last week. You say that you've decided to not take his calls anymore and let me tell you that that is an Excellent Idea, even if it's hard at first. This guy sounds very destructive, to those around him and probably to himself as well. You are beyond a shadow of a doubt better off without him.

 

Don't kid yourself that he was unwittingly or inadvertently hurting you -- a grown man who is so selfish and irresponsible as to get sexually involved with adolescent girls just doesn't care who gets hurt so long as he's having fun. This guy was clearly a jerk of the first order and I'll bet it won't be long before you are truly relieved to have him out of your life. He'll be nothing to you but a shudder-causing memory . Yuck yuck yuck.

[melody]

thanks for yor support tony, i agree i can find someone better, he has called since then several times but i have not taken his call. i am sticking to my decision no matter what the cost.

This man's age is totally irrelevant. People can have controlling behaviors at any age. You'd be surprised how many two-year-olds have total control over their parents. Keep an open mind in the future and judge each relationship on its merit. There are lots of older men who are relatively sane and who might make good partners for you. Just pay attention like you did here. You did right by cutting things off early in the game.

 

[melody]

thanks midori,

 

i appreciate your response. i agree he is behaving self-destructively and i am no longer going to be the target of his destructiveness. thanks for your understanding and encouragement. I have remained firm in not receiving his calls anymore but since this decision he has called consistently. I have just not answered or returned the calls. I do feel some sense of relief and i am concentrating on my self and things important to me. we live and learn. i dk why i let myself even get into this i know better. i agree it is a bad memory to have but we can't learn to appreciate the good until we get through the bad. take care

Hi Melody, I remember your post from last week. You say that you've decided to not take his calls anymore and let me tell you that that is an Excellent Idea, even if it's hard at first. This guy sounds very destructive, to those around him and probably to himself as well. You are beyond a shadow of a doubt better off without him. Don't kid yourself that he was unwittingly or inadvertently hurting you -- a grown man who is so selfish and irresponsible as to get sexually involved with adolescent girls just doesn't care who gets hurt so long as he's having fun. This guy was clearly a jerk of the first order and I'll bet it won't be long before you are truly relieved to have him out of your life. He'll be nothing to you but a shudder-causing memory . Yuck yuck yuck.