resentment006 Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 I learned from watching the movie ¨my father the hero that some women play hard to get in order to get their boyfriends to marry them. Some women will use no contact as a way of playing hard to get. I suppose it works better than the ultimatium approach of marry me or else. Any women out there try that on their boyfriends? Have you used jealously tactics to get him to propose? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 No, and I never would. I can't understand people who have to resort to games to get a proposal. I would have no interest in marrying anyone under those conditions. With me it's all or nothing. Either my man wanted to marry me desperately or he didn't. I was never interested in trying to get a man to marry me. It had to be mutual on both sides. "Jealousy tactics" and other games may work in the short term but in the long term they're a disaster and actually backfire. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 "Jealousy tactics" and other games may work in the short term but in the long term they're a disaster and actually backfire. Agreed. I think it genuinely is possible, in the short term, to inflame a person's desire by playing games. The problem is that you're provoking false interest based on fantasies and intrigue that the real you will never live up to. Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 not for the reason you describe, resentment (great name, does it fit? lol)--i think alot of women go into NC so that they can get over the guy (because the relationship is not seeming to be going anywhere) or they do NC as a way of letting the guy have some space to figure out what he really wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Author resentment006 Posted February 4, 2006 Author Share Posted February 4, 2006 Ultimatums usually backfire though. I don´t recommend going that route unless you are sure you want to risk losing him. Even if he does give into the ultimatium and marry you he could just resent you later for the pressure and divorce you in 10 years. Sometimes the guy will cave in and go through the motions of a wedding ceremony while secretly thinking he can divorce you anytime. So he may propose and marry you just to string you along until he decides what he wants. You can´t be certain that he married you because he wanted to. Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 well, otoh, what kind of guy would go through the motions thinking he could divorce later? isn't that (more than a little) passive-aggressive? if he doesn't want to get married, he should just say so and let the woman go find someone else! he shouldn't expect a woman to hang around and waste her time with him, if what she really wants is to be married. It's not fair on her, is it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author resentment006 Posted February 4, 2006 Author Share Posted February 4, 2006 well, otoh, what kind of guy would go through the motions thinking he could divorce later? isn't that (more than a little) passive-aggressive? if he doesn't want to get married, he should just say so and let the woman go find someone else! he shouldn't expect a woman to hang around and waste her time with him, if what she really wants is to be married. It's not fair on her, is it? All true but not all guys will be honest about their desire not to marry. Some actually get married out of pressure and the truth is they can get a divorce whenever they want to later on. I probably would cave in if a woman gave me an ultimatium and marry her. I´will divorce her later when I get tired of her. Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 oh well, i suppose she could do the same thing too, couldn't she? it's usually the woman who leaves the marriage, after all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author resentment006 Posted February 4, 2006 Author Share Posted February 4, 2006 oh well, i suppose she could do the same thing too, couldn't she? it's usually the woman who leaves the marriage, after all. If that's the case then she shouldn't whine and complain that her boyfriend hasn't proposed yet. Why marry if you are not sure you would stay with him forever anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 If that's the case then she shouldn't whine and complain that her boyfriend hasn't proposed yet. Why marry if you are not sure you would stay with him forever anyway? dunno all kinds of reasons maybe she got married and realised he was not what/who he said he was? like he married her but didn't want to be married, really, as in your example. or he said he was x,y,z but was really r,t,q... false pretenses...or people grow and change... ya know? it happens, unfortunately but...who is this hypothetical woman of yours who whines and issues ultimatums? i don't know very many women like this, myself...if that's what you think all women are like, then you're going to see everything a woman does through that lens...it's not reality, man... Link to post Share on other sites
portableversion Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 if you don't want to get married, don't. Dump 'her' if she wants to. What's with the hangup? Getting married with the secret intent to divorce later is incredibly stupid. Divorces, and weddings, are too expensive for silly games like the one you are contemplating. Are you like 14 or something? Link to post Share on other sites
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