jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Okay, five days of no contact. But one of the reasons I was contacting him was to ask for my stuff back. But he never returned my emails or calls. I want my stuff back. This isn't fair. He lives next door. It's not like he'd have to go far to give it back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 5, 2006 Author Share Posted February 5, 2006 ARGH! I am so tempted to call him. It's not right that he keep my belongings. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 NO! Don't do it Jen! He's not going anywhere. Give it a little time before you ask for your stuff back again. It's too soon. It won't help you to see him or talk to him now. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 5 days of NC. I got my stuff back the next day all packed up and ready to go. (one bag of stuff, glad I didn't put more stuff there) If he lives next door, don't call him; better yet, leave a note or when you two bump into each other in the hallway. Ask for you stuff back; in a civil way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 5, 2006 Author Share Posted February 5, 2006 Yeah, I know you're right. But it's frustrating. He even has some of my dishes because I used to make him plates of dinner when he worked late so he didn't have to worry about cooking or eating out. Thing is, I even told him in the emails that if he doesn't want to actually see me to give my stuff back, that he wouldn't have to. All he has to do is walk across the alley and leave it by the back door and then email me when he left it so I can look for it. It's like he's not giving my things back just to spite me or be hateful. Link to post Share on other sites
Fester Lungblood Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Geez, Jen-jen, control your emotions and pride and go get you friggin stuff back. Separate feelings from your task. Let him think whatever the hell he wants. The only response that matters is yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Try giving it another week until you're feeling much stronger. Then write him a very cold note asking only for an itemized list of your things. Ask him to gather them all together and let you know when you can pick them up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Lonestar is right. I agree that you've got to give this a little more time. A week sounds good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 6, 2006 Author Share Posted February 6, 2006 This is horrible. Gawd. I really effing miss him. I just wish I could get him out of my head and away from my broken heart. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Jen, can you survive without the stuff for now? If not, have a FRIEND go get your stuff. Stick to NC, he doesn't deserve your time so don't give it to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 This is horrible. Gawd. I really effing miss him. I just wish I could get him out of my head and away from my broken heart. From this side of the keyboard Jen you are doing great.. keep it up.. it gets better and you may never be able to forget him, but one day soon he won't mean anything to you Link to post Share on other sites
pippen_2k Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 You see your stuff isnt that importnant Jen, your probabaly just fishing for ways to contact him. If that dish ( lol ) is that importnant to ya, hell, ill buy you 1 online and post it to ya Let it go, and just ask yourself do you really need this stuff back? Link to post Share on other sites
Candied-Heart Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 You see your stuff isnt that importnant Jen, your probabaly just fishing for ways to contact him. If that dish ( lol ) is that importnant to ya, hell, ill buy you 1 online and post it to ya Let it go, and just ask yourself do you really need this stuff back? I completely agree. It's too soon for you to really care about the damn dish and other generic possessions. It's about you [as previously stated by yourself] missing him and wanting to see him. Excuses. Keep the days of No Contact going. Ask about your stuff when you're a lil stronger Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 J_J. You know about my experience with an ex that wouldn't return my stuff. Whatever it is, let it go. It will drive you insane to try to get someone this selfish to give you your things back. Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Yeah, I know you're right. But it's frustrating. He even has some of my dishes because I used to make him plates of dinner when he worked late so he didn't have to worry about cooking or eating out. Thing is, I even told him in the emails that if he doesn't want to actually see me to give my stuff back, that he wouldn't have to. All he has to do is walk across the alley and leave it by the back door and then email me when he left it so I can look for it. It's like he's not giving my things back just to spite me or be hateful. I truly hope you can see that letting go of any possessions you may have left at your ex, will be the best present you can give yourself. Any attempts at holding on to things that provide you an excuse to contact him, are just anchors to weigh you down. Cut them loose from your neck and free yourself. There are people who have lost far more possesions because of floods, hurricanes, fires....AND they have no choice but to mourn their loss of their possession and Live Another Day. You've got your health, strength and your home, see that you are fortunate... the amount of dishes and and men in your life did not stop with this one guy next door! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 7, 2006 Author Share Posted February 7, 2006 Oh poo. I emailed him. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Oh poo. I emailed him. Jen.. give yourself some time to get back on plane with things. Don't be so hard on yourself It gets easier with time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 7, 2006 Author Share Posted February 7, 2006 Thing is, I didn't email him because I want to see him or talk to him. I emailed him because I started getting mad and pissed off. I was thinking, "That mother-effing-bastard has no right to keep my stuff!!!!!" GRRRRR Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Thing is, I didn't email him because I want to see him or talk to him. I emailed him because I started getting mad and pissed off. I was thinking, "That mother-effing-bastard has no right to keep my stuff!!!!!" GRRRRR Chalk it up to the healing process.. if is good to get rid of the anger.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 8, 2006 Author Share Posted February 8, 2006 Ugh! Is he just trying to make me more angry? Is he not giving my stuff back just to spite me? I do miss him and I do love the man he was, but I don't even want him back. I just want my s***. My emails were short and to the point, and he hasn't cooperated. I just want my stuff back so I can put this awful mess behind me. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 he can sense the anger and just wants to screw with you.. Show him indifference and drop getting your stuff back.. Wait at least a month or so from now then deal with it.. The stuff you can live without.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 8, 2006 Author Share Posted February 8, 2006 I don't want this issue hanging out there in a month. I want it done and over now. That would be the right thing. Why are people so adverse to doing the right thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 I don't want this issue hanging out there in a month. I want it done and over now. That would be the right thing. Why are people so adverse to doing the right thing? The issue is HIM.. You are not going to get him to do anything for you.. You ned to show him it doesn't bother you that he has your stuff by forgetting about it.. That is the way to get your stuff back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 8, 2006 Author Share Posted February 8, 2006 f***ing games. Always f***ing game. Why can't adults behave like adults? Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 both of my ex's last year pulled this on me. One was just lazy and did it eventually the other has still not returned my things. It was driving me nuts so I decided I had to let it go and it helped. Just let it go. You will not die without these things and if he ever does return them, all you think of is the crap he put you through trying to get it back. You're better off without whatever it is you left with him. Link to post Share on other sites
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