(this may apply to you?)

[Ejs82]

I dont have anything against counselors, im just tired of hearing the phrase. I just wish everyone would stop saying "see a counselor" as an answer to almost EVERYTHING!!!! People can deal with what they are dealt on their own and learn through personal experience what is and what is not. If you have a problem:

 

1. You know you have a problem

 

2. Look at that problem and examine the situation you are in, look at EVERYTHING

 

3. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! this may take you longer than you expect if you have issues of being an introvert or whatnot but WORK YOUR WAY UP TO DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. ITS A GIVEN that you are going to fail if you try to eat an elephant whole, but with one bite at a time...you will be satisfied.

 

So with that stupid quote at the end, be a DO-ER, and dont whine about it...you KNOW you MUST do something about your problem and nothing is getting better by not. YOU KNOW THIS, IT IS CONCRETE FACT. So change it and make your OWN life better. COUNSELORS CANT SOLVE EVERYTHING FOR THE BEST

[Tony T]

While you are correct that it's best if people are able to work through their problems on their own, there are many behaviors and situations which require the expertise of a trained counsellor or psychotherapist.

 

There are also many situations involving couples where a well trained and unbiased third party counsellor can help a couple regain communication and learn healthy conflict resolution techniques.

 

There are also problems which have a psychophysiological cause which must be identified and treated by a medical doctor (psychiatrist). It is insane to ask someone with chemical depression or other mood disorder to work through it on their own when their brain chemistry requires medications to stabilize those abnormalities.

 

I caution you that if you really care about people you should not post statements which contain dangerous generalizations like the one you made above.

 

Yes, while it's great and most desireable for people to work out their difficulties on their own, there are a multitude of situations where professional help is indicated and absolutely necessary. That's why schools spend years training therapists.

 

There are many people who do not have the insight to help themselves or their behaviors are so engrained in them they don't even realize they have a problem. Also, negative behavior traits which have their root in a person's childhood most often require professional help to identify and treat.

 

I do admire people like you who have a spirit of independence...but no man is an island (or something like that.)

 

I sincerely hope you will reconsider your opinion on this and be more open minded. Some people seriously require outside, professional help and there's no way around it.

[Daisy]

That is one of the most closedminded posts I have ever heard. And I bet you've never even been to a counselor before. Just because you've realized that you can work through your OWN problems without any outside help, does not mean you should come on here posting messages full of kablooey about how useless therapists are and how all we need is inner strength, blah, blah, blah.

 

So one day, when you have a loved one die suddenly, or you realize you're suffering from severe depression, or you admit you're an alcoholic, or you're in a debilitating car accident and paralyzed for life, or your spouse beats you to smitherines each night, or you're diagnosed with cancer, or your child is kidnapped, remember how useless you thought therapists were and tell me that you wouldn't even think twice about going to see one.

 

It IS an answer to almost everything. Even CLOSEDMINDEDNESS.

[Ed]

I agree with you, that self help is the best help. But many people just don't know which way to turn. They simply aren't sure what they need to do to pull themselves out of whatever stifling situation they have found themselves in. They need guidance from someone.

 

Most of the time people are able to cope with life and it's distractions with no help at all. However, virtually everyone seeks out advice, from time to time, from someone, whether it be a stranger, family member, friend, priest, pastor, minister, guidance counselor, other trained professional, anyone in-between or outside of this scope. Most people want to discuss their lives and foibles with someone else.

 

I am glad you consider yourself to be a well adjusted individual and able to deal with your own problems without assistance. But, believe it or not, there are people with sensitive issues and medical problems that need the assistance of a trained professional. I am in no position to make that kind of determination for someone else.

 

What I would really like to have you figure out is how to make it in this world without paying out the but for legal services! Now that bandwagon, I might jump on with you!

[midori]

very well put Ed.

[BeenThere]

Between an alcholic husband and troubled teenager, I've been to my fare share of councelors...probably eight in all. While not all of them were good, I can say learned some very valuable skills during the many countless hours spent in those offices. Mainly how to love and support the important people in my life while at the same time learning to let go of situations and behaviors that were beyond my control. I gained affirmation, inner strength and lessons that I still use in my everyday life when dealing with difficult people and crisis today. I've also aquired a sense of humor about myself and the irony of life in general.

 

On the other hand, I can say I've had my FILL of councelors, and have promised myself that I would never again enter a relationship with someone who I felt needed to be "fixed," nor stay in one which required that a third party be present in order to keep it together. It's all part of that "learning to let go" thing which was the most difficult lesson for me to learn.

 

Besides!...Those guys cost 50 bucks an hour!!!!!!!!

 

I dont have anything against counselors, im just tired of hearing the phrase. I just wish everyone would stop saying "see a counselor" as an answer to almost EVERYTHING!!!! People can deal with what they are dealt on their own and learn through personal experience what is and what is not. If you have a problem: 1. You know you have a problem 2. Look at that problem and examine the situation you are in, look at EVERYTHING 3. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! this may take you longer than you expect if you have issues of being an introvert or whatnot but WORK YOUR WAY UP TO DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. ITS A GIVEN that you are going to fail if you try to eat an elephant whole, but with one bite at a time...you will be satisfied. So with that stupid quote at the end, be a DO-ER, and dont whine about it...you KNOW you MUST do something about your problem and nothing is getting better by not. YOU KNOW THIS, IT IS CONCRETE FACT. So change it and make your OWN life better. COUNSELORS CANT SOLVE EVERYTHING FOR THE BEST

[Artlover]

For the record, I used to say the same stuff the poster above wrote. I used to say, "I believe in therapy...for other people. I'm strong enough to handle things myself!"

 

We are all motivated everyday by patterns we learned in childhood. Period. Whether these patterns are healthy or not, depends to a great degree on what parents we drew. Either way, half the time, most of us don't know why we do the things we do or even that we have a problem in the first place.

 

very well put Ed.

[Miss Mojo]

COUNSELORS CANT SOLVE EVERYTHING FOR THE BEST

 

they can't always solve everything for the best, but some people DO NEED TO SEE ONE. some people need an objective person to help them put things into perspective when they can't do it themselves.

 

not everyone can do things on their own. that's when a counsellor does come in handy. for example, there has been a particular person on this site who posted the same stuff OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. to speak to someone in the flesh and take time to run through events properly, would have helped her a motza. it doesn't always help people to have a message posted to them, even though we try to help them.

 

i once went to a counsellor for a few sessions because a situation in my life was absolutely consuming me. i tried for a VERY long time to get through it on my own. seeing this counsellor for a few sessions opened up my eyes to so much that no one else could even see. it was the best thing i did for myself.