Do You Think I Am Acting Like A Child?

[jadedalways645]

Same story, liked a friend, she wanted to stay friends but we were closer than most friends are, decided that was cool and started seeing someone else (it didn't work out).

 

She calls me a minute ago and wants me to go with her to some friends house. I declined because I am going out with other friends. It's never been a problem before but after I told her that we were going to a strip club to watch the game, her entire tone changed and she got real quiet. And I never call her anymore but she calls me all the time. And she always sounds nervous when she calls me now and she never was before.

 

The reason for the question, is that she said she wanted to be close friends, and I was cool with that but I don't make time for her anymore. I got hurt when she told me what she said, so I backed off and started seeing other people. Am I being an ass because things didn't work out the way that I wanted? I mean, she was a angel to me and she has never done anything wrong to me, in fact she goes out of her way to make me happy. But I can tell in her voice that she is hurt about something and she won't tell me.

 

What does it sound like to you?

[Fester Lungblood]

Be courageous. Meet her and put your feelings and the questions you need answered on the table. Be honest and caring. Listen to her. then decide what it is you want. And make that clear to her.

[bluechocolate]

You liked this girl but she turned you down & wanted to remain friends. In my opinion you did the right thing by backing off. Why torture yourself pretending to be friends with someone when what you really want is something more?

 

She may be disappointed that you're no longer such close friends but she should understand your situation.

 

btw - if any of my 'friends' do or say something that I'm unhappy about I tell them and I expect my friends to do the same.

[SuperFantastico]

You are totally doing the right thing. DONT BACK DOWN!! She said she didnt want to go out with you, why should you still be best buddies when she knows you want more. Screw that. Does she want you to be all depressed and crushed when she gets a boyfriend.

 

Everyone wants money but no one wants to work. The best thing you can do is slowly erase her from your life. This is a good plan two fold because first

you get some room to breath and can find anouther girl, and two because

she will see how happy you and these other friends will become and how she screwed up and is no longer a part of it.

 

Thats why shes all nervous now. Because she knows she screwed up. Now stick it to her till she begs for your....uh....company

[jadedalways645]

Well I don't think that I should stick it to her. I mean, it's not revenge I am looking for. I'd like to think that I am a little more mature than that. I am 70% over the fact I couldn't get a relationship, but she IS a cool chick and I still want to be friends. I think that what it is, is that ever since we made things clear, all her friends have been making moves on me and I think that is bothering her.

 

On the talking to her thing, I am like you, when I have a problem I confront my friends. But I needed some input before I say anything because every time we have talks like this, it puts pressure on the friendship and I've learned it's best to just let things like this just develop. Plus she never really tells me how she feels (her answers and her friends answers are allways different).

 

It just sounded strange to me, her reaction and I just wanted to know what it sounded like to other people. I'm not the type of person to pine over things for too long. I've always wondered I always hear people talk about how they love their friends and then when they don't get a relationship they blow him/her off. If you really loved them, it wouldn't be so easy to let them go. Sounds to me like just confusing lust for love.

 

But what do I know?