dating

[Sarah]

Is it so bad if you're 16 and dating a 22 year old with 2 kids if you know you can handle the relationship? 6 years isn't all that much if you consider the maturity level and not the actual age.

[Daisy]

So why are you even asking? You've obviously already decided for yourself that the relationship is fine...you've already justified it in your own mind. With that in mind, any negative advice you get will just be thrown out the door.

 

Seriously though, you're 16. He's 22. WITH 2 KIDS!!!! I don't care if you're the most mature 16 year old in the world, why in the WORLD would you want to deal with all that baggage?? Live your life. Have boyfriends. Go out on dates. Go to prom. Go to the movies. Flirt with boys your age. Go to Panama City beach for spring break. Have your girlfriends over for slumber parties. For gosh sakes, do things you should be doing right now. Have fun. Do you really want to be a 16 year old STEP-MOM? Yuck. Dirty diapers. Dirty dishes. Laundry. Fights. Homework. Cooking. Cleaning.

 

If you were really as mature as you wish you were, you would realize what a pitiful situation this is for you. A mature 16 year old would tell a 22 year old man with 2 kids to stay the hell away from her. Come on, use some common sense.

Is it so bad if you're 16 and dating a 22 year old with 2 kids if you know you can handle the relationship? 6 years isn't all that much if you consider the maturity level and not the actual age.

[Tony T]

I think this 22-year-old guy is manipulating the hell out of you to get a free baby sitter. A 16-year-old should be baby sitting, not being mother to two toddlers.

 

I feel the same way Daisy does about this. If you hang out in this situation, you will regret it all the days of your life.

 

And by the way, if you did have the required maturity you wouldn't go near a deal like this.

[BeenThere]

Have to agree with Daisy and Tony on this one. I think age becomes less of an issue only between older people who have had a chance to experience more. But that's only my humble opinion...

I think this 22-year-old guy is manipulating the hell out of you to get a free baby sitter. A 16-year-old should be baby sitting, not being mother to two toddlers. I feel the same way Daisy does about this. If you hang out in this situation, you will regret it all the days of your life. And by the way, if you did have the required maturity you wouldn't go near a deal like this.

 

[IAm20HeIs30]

Ok this is gonna be long but you are hitting close to home for me. Let me tell you this, I've only got 4 more years of living on me then you and dealing with an age gap is STILL hard.

 

Have you really considered whether or not you can handle the relationship? I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 30. He doesn't even have any kids and every day I still wonder if I am in over my head. You are still in high school and you want to deal with someone who has this type of baggage? When I first jumped into my relationship, I considered the 10 year age gap and decided I could handle it. Now, 3 months into it I'm not always so sure. My 30 year old boyfriend is my first real, serious relationship and I won't lie, its hard. We are great together, don't get me wrong, but I've got my parent on my back everyday hating the relationship. Insecurities pop up when you are hanging out with friends your age and here your boyfriend is, he can order alcohol and you can't. Its hard enough to get rid of your own doubts sometimes and then you have all these other insecurities creeping in.

 

Granted, I've been through high school and 2 years of college, I have lived a little more of my life then you, I'm just saying there are many unforseen insecurities that crept up on me that have me reconsidering my relationship now, as great as it is. I have to decide if I am secure enough to continue in this relationship and I need to do it quick because both me and him are head over heels for each other but I don't think its fair to him for me to have doubts in the relationship, especially if those doubts lead to me hurting him down the road. Put those insecurities with the fact that your guy has fathered 2 children and u have A LOT on your plate.

 

Someone said age becomes less important as the people involved become older. Here's the perspective on the people being just a little bit older: Its still tough. Takes a lot of introspection and will. You have to be strong willed enough to decide what you want and stick to it no matter what other people say or how they make you feel.

 

Its not my place to say 22 is too old for you, or that you can not handle the situation, but just make sure that you really have considered everything. Your experience level versus his and if it will be a problem. Things that you want to do in life right now that you might be tempted not to do because your boyfriend is so much older. Do you think 25 year old w/2 kids is going to want to go to a senior prom when you are 18? Would you feel comfortable with him there? Lots of other scenarios where you have to consider his age and how it will affect you...If you are fine with it then more power to you. Just make sure you think it through and be prepared for unforseen problems to pop up - just like in any relationship. Good Luck and make good decisions. Its all about how sure you are of yourself and your capability to handle the relationship.