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Ex-lover returns, maybe?


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Several years ago, 15 to be exact, I was dating this lady for a couple of years (lets call her Mary for now) and didn't realize that I was actually in love with her until it was to late. I started dating other people, and after a couple of months, I realized my mistake. Mary had moved on and started another relationship so I didn't want to interfere. Well time moved on. 2 years after we broke up I got married. Mary never did. Thats been 14 years now. I thought that my marriage was a good one. I love my wife and have never even thought of cheating on her. Last month Mary showed up where I have worked for 19 years (shes a delivery driver now) and casually asked if I still worked there while she was making a delivery. She again showed up last week asking for me while making another delivery. I was out both times.

 

Am I reading more into this then whats really happening? Just because an ex-grilfriend shows up asking about you, does it really mean anything or should I get ready for something?

 

I always thought I had my head on stright, but now I wonder. When I found out that she was asking for me after 16 years, I thought nothing of it for the first 10 min. Then it hit me. I felt all these feelings that I haven't felt for 16 years return. Was I still in love with Mary and didn't know it? It's like someone opened a door and all these inner feelings just poured out. I told myself that I was too old for this kind of emotional behavior. I'm 56. going on 17 apparently. Now I'm torn apart to the point my wife is asking "whats wrong?". I can't tell her. First time in my marriage I have to keep something from her until I deal with it myself. Now I feel distant from my wife and reserved. Wife sences something is wrong, but thinks its to do with work.

 

The problem is that I would like to see Mary again. Part of me wants to keep in touch (part of somethig is better than nothing at all). But, the other part me tells me to avoid any contact whatsoever with Mary.

 

The battle between the Mind and the Heart begins. To be continued...

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I think that with all of these thoughts and feelings pouring over you it would not be a good idea to see Mary now. If you are happy in your marriage then you don't want to risk something stupid happening. If you are not completely happy in your marriage then that needs to be addressed. Don't let old feelings cloud your judgement.

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