SmoochieFace Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 i should have said, it bothers them because in their perception, smoochie is rubbing it in their faces. All right... we all know that *perceptions* can be wrong or misleading, right? So, using yours truly as an example, why should I have to *pay* for those inaccurate or misleading perceptions? Why can't people (in general) say "you know, maybe I am wrong here. Maybe I am allowing my negative experiences and the resultant fears and prejudices from allowing me to give another person a fair shake. Maybe I am the one with the problem - not Smooch." See what I'm saying? Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 smoochie you said: But why does it matter? If we truly are individuals and we have our own unique thoughts, feelings, etc. AND we are comfortable with them then why does it matter if someone thinks that they are more *whatever*? If you are TRULY comfortable with yourself and have healthy self-esteem then those things really shouldn't matter, right? All right... we all know that *perceptions* can be wrong or misleading, right? So, using yours truly as an example, why should I have to *pay* for those inaccurate or misleading perceptions? so i dont see how you can also think that you are "paying" for other peoples opinions of you. in what way are you "paying" and i'm only trying to understand what you mean. Why can't people (in general) say "you know, maybe I am wrong here. Maybe I am allowing my negative experiences and the resultant fears and prejudices from allowing me to give another person a fair shake. Maybe I am the one with the problem - not Smooch." See what I'm saying? i do see what youre saying. i am aware that my id and ego lead me as much as anybody elses. i try to check myself often and to see whether it is my problem or somebody elses. at the same time, i think without enlightenment (or brain damage), it is impossible to stop this from happening. maybe you can lessen it just by being aware, but it is still going to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 FYI the "Id" and the "Ego" are merely constructs in Freudian psychological theory. I hear those terms bandied about like there is an identifiable "Id organ" in the brain. I like Freud as much as the next person. But for some reason I don't think everyone wants a coq. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 So, using yours truly as an example, why should I have to *pay* for those inaccurate or misleading perceptions? You have a point. But there's a flip side to this which you should consider. Communication between different people has norms. If you don't believe this, try affectionately and without malice calling everyone you meet today "motherf**cking @sshole" and see whether their perception accords with your friendly intent. You are bound by society's norms of language - you can't randomly change the meaning of words. As with language, so with emotions. Experiments show that the most common facial expressions are universal and 99% of the human race experience and interpret them instinctively. Even babies are equipped to do this. You're unfortunate in that you're not equipped to follow emotions or understand all the emotional ramifications of what you say. But you have to make some concession to the 5 billion people you share a planet with. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Romeo, my Romeo, my sweet and most dear to my heart motherf**cking @sshole Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 so i dont see how you can also think that you are "paying" for other peoples opinions of you. in what way are you "paying" and i'm only trying to understand what you mean. I am *paying* in the sense that I have to live in this world (or do I?) and an unfortunate consequence of that is I have to deal with other people - and most other people do not understand me and harbor opinions of me that may not be based on accurate information. The results can be lack of friends, inability to *move up* both professionally and personally, etc. In other words, other people can be a hindrance to my well-being. The only way I can be free from all of this and not have to *pay* is to be totally self-sufficient AND live in a place that is outside of anyone else's jurisdiction. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Romeo, my Romeo, my sweet and most dear to my heart motherf**cking @sshole And this demonstrates the flipside/rational explanation of the halo effect - knowing Loony helps me to interpret the humourous motives of this comment 1 Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 - and most other people do not understand me and harbor opinions of me that may not be based on accurate information. . Well Smooch that is pretty typical, and you cannot let that bother you. It is normal for people to do this. Would be nice if it was not that way, but people form opinions about other people all the time without having facts to back them up. a4a Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 The only way I can be free from all of this and not have to *pay* is to be totally self-sufficient AND live in a place that is outside of anyone else's jurisdiction. Not a fan of "Lost" are you by any chance? The alternative to being in society is apparently being attacked by random technological and supernatural creepies... Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 And this demonstrates the flipside/rational explanation of the halo effect - knowing Loony helps me to interpret the humourous motives of this comment And that also shows that, since no one really wants to know me because of my *differences*, whatever I say will have no value whatsoever. To me, the Halo Effect is destructive - not constructive - in fostering harmonious relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Not a fan of "Lost" are you by any chance? No... but then again the show isn't about *one* person surviving the plane crash... there are others there so that wouldn't work for me. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Why can't people (in general) say "you know, maybe I am wrong here. Maybe I am allowing my negative experiences and the resultant fears and prejudices from allowing me to give another person a fair shake. Maybe I am the one with the problem - not Smooch." I heard that Asperger's syndrome prevents you from being able to process your negative experiences and even when you get new positive information about something you have difficulties to change the deeply ingrained picture in your head. Obviously this doesn't seem to be true. One moment women are crap and shallow, next one you complain about people like Alphamale who say the same. This is such hypocritical nonsense. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 And that also shows that, since no one really wants to know me because of my *differences*, whatever I say will have no value whatsoever. To me, the Halo Effect is destructive - not constructive - in fostering harmonious relationships. well for goodness sake then project your sameness then instead of screaming about how different you are. You are not all that different Smooch. You have lots in common with many people. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 And this demonstrates the flipside/rational explanation of the halo effect - knowing Loony helps me to interpret the humourous motives of this comment Does that mean that everything I say is good? Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 well for goodness sake then project your sameness... Perhaps I do not know how to do that... Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 all i can say smooch, is that you have been unlucky so far. i dont think all people are so judgemental and intolerant. i am not saying that i dont believe that you have experienced this, but, dont let it limit you for future possibilities, if you can help it. remember that inside of you there is always complete love and acceptance. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 I heard that Asperger's syndrome prevents you from being able to process your negative experiences and even when you get new positive information about something you have difficulties to change the deeply ingrained picture in your head. Obviously this doesn't seem to be true. One moment women are crap and shallow, next one you complain about people like Alphamale who say the same. This is such hypocritical nonsense. hmmmmmmmmm. verrrry interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 I heard that Asperger's syndrome prevents you from being able to process your negative experiences and even when you get new positive information about something you have difficulties to change the deeply ingrained picture in your head. Obviously this doesn't seem to be true. One moment women are crap and shallow, next one you complain about people like Alphamale who say the same. This is such hypocritical nonsense. Loony, with respect, I know you have an inherent negative bias towards me and that is common knowledge here. I am not bothered by it and I am not seeking your approval or validation. If you want to expend your energy on being hateful towards me then be my guest. I, however, am not going to allow your bitterness, hatred, or any other issues you may have to affect me. Seems to me that you are here to simply stir the pot and not add anything of constructive value. Just my opinion, of course. Have a nice day. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Does that mean that everything I say is good? Pretty much, yes Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 hmmmmmmmmm. verrrry interesting. To clarify here, what I heard about Asperger's syndrome is what another of SF's defenders said in one of her posts. I'm just repeating it. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Perhaps I do not know how to do that... i think this is an example of limiting yourself. you seem to have made an identity out of being different, not saying that you arent different, but you are also the same. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Pretty much, yes Thank you. As a reward I will put you on my list of guys I will consider marrying when I'm still single at 40. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Smooch you love music right, you enjoy certain movies, or certain activities.....? Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 i think this is an example of limiting yourself. you seem to have made an identity out of being different, not saying that you arent different, but you are also the same. I was just about to post something related to this; though perhaps I shouldn't bother, because I basically agree with what newbby has been saying throughout. well for goodness sake then project your sameness then instead of screaming about how different you are. You are not all that different Smooch. You have lots in common with many people. Perhaps I do not know how to do that... I just wanted to add something to this, though...connecting with people based on commonality or "sameness" may indeed be something that is more challenging for you...but I think newbby's right in saying that it seems like you've also chosen to view any sameness with people as not only alien to you but also, basically, less enlightened. But sharing those commonalities - common viewpoints, common interests, whatever - and conforming mindlessly are not the same thing at all. I think, if you are interested in finding common ground with people - and sometimes, from your posts (like this one) it sounds like you are - then the first thing to do would be to look for the places where common ground is pleasant and enriching, not limiting to yourself. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. And you know, I know you feel like you're getting piled on...I only responded because, from this post, it sounds like you're genuinely looking for advice. But feel free to ignore if I've misread it. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Seems to me that you are here to simply stir the pot and not add anything of constructive value. Just my opinion, of course. But is she correct SF ? or is her info off base ? Link to post Share on other sites
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