what to do ... Posted August 22, 2001 Share Posted August 22, 2001 Hi, this is a follow up on guy1, guy2 story ... Well, I'm going out wiht guy2, taking it easy & slow, no problems there. However, guy1 doesn't seem to be able to handle breaking up. he keeps e-mailing me, and in his emails he alternated between yelling at me for what i've done to him & telling me he hates me now and begging to come back & stuff ... AHH!!! i tried to be nice & make it as un-bloody as possible ... i replied some emails, i said we can't be happy together, yada yada - man, i can't believe i have to bring those reasons, i'm freaking 19 after all ... anyway, this morning i finally sent a yucky e-mail telling him to leave me alone. buuuuut throughout all this, i wasn't 100% sure of not getting back together. i do miss him. but i also want to try out guy2 ... the fact that my mother is 100% sure that guy1 is bad for me is also a factor. guy1 has this philosophy that you shd stay with one person for your whole life, that way your love isnt scattered between lots of people, but all of it is given to just one ... which is why he's trying to hard to stay with me and make it work ... does it make any sense to u guys? im just not sure ... because guy2 is a fun-type relationship, it'll last a few months, not more ... at least that's how i see it now ... might change later. but if it only lasts a few months, i will probably regret dropping guy1 just for that ... ahh - when i read my own thoughts, i feel like i should just stay single!... Any advice?? I have a date with guy2 tonight, so i need to have my head together, at least partially Link to post Share on other sites
Artlover Posted August 22, 2001 Share Posted August 22, 2001 You're 19 years old. Just date and have a good time. You don't owe either guy anything. I don't agree with Guy1's philosophy. There are no "shoulds" in relationships. You have to do what is right for yourself. At 19, I think it's actually better to date casually. That way you get to know yourself better, as well as what you want in a relationship. Stop responding to Guy1's e-mails. Good luck and enjoy yourself! Hi, this is a follow up on guy1, guy2 story ... Well, I'm going out wiht guy2, taking it easy & slow, no problems there. However, guy1 doesn't seem to be able to handle breaking up. he keeps e-mailing me, and in his emails he alternated between yelling at me for what i've done to him & telling me he hates me now and begging to come back & stuff ... AHH!!! i tried to be nice & make it as un-bloody as possible ... i replied some emails, i said we can't be happy together, yada yada - man, i can't believe i have to bring those reasons, i'm freaking 19 after all ... anyway, this morning i finally sent a yucky e-mail telling him to leave me alone. buuuuut throughout all this, i wasn't 100% sure of not getting back together. i do miss him. but i also want to try out guy2 ... the fact that my mother is 100% sure that guy1 is bad for me is also a factor. guy1 has this philosophy that you shd stay with one person for your whole life, that way your love isnt scattered between lots of people, but all of it is given to just one ... which is why he's trying to hard to stay with me and make it work ... does it make any sense to u guys? im just not sure ... because guy2 is a fun-type relationship, it'll last a few months, not more ... at least that's how i see it now ... might change later. but if it only lasts a few months, i will probably regret dropping guy1 just for that ... ahh - when i read my own thoughts, i feel like i should just stay single!... Any advice?? I have a date with guy2 tonight, so i need to have my head together, at least partially Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy Posted August 22, 2001 Share Posted August 22, 2001 Who cares what philosophy guy1 believes in? He can believe whatever he wants. Just because he believes something doesn't mean you have to follow in his footsteps. My point - don't go along with the crap about loving only 1 person your entire life. That's a bunch of bull. You have to find the right person before you can dedicate all of your love to just one person. And he's definitely not the right person. Just keep reiterating to him that it's over. And get a restraining order if you need one. Go out and have a good time with guy2. You yourself said he's a fun-type, so go out and have fun. I wouldn't worry about where the relationship with guy2 is going to go from here because you never know. I definitely wouldn't go into it thinking you want to spend as much time with him as possible and start a whole new long-term relationship. Just go with the flow and try not to analyze things too much. You shouldn't really want to jump right into another relationship immediately anyways, seeing how you've just gotten out of one. Most importantly, experience life. Go to the movies with guy2. Go have coffee. Go to amusement parks. Go rollerblading. Go jump out of an airplane. And experience other guys as well. No regrets! Link to post Share on other sites
what to do ... Posted August 22, 2001 Share Posted August 22, 2001 Artlover & daisy, thanks for your replies, you are absolutely right. I just needed that confirmation from someone. thank you =) Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted August 22, 2001 Share Posted August 22, 2001 Sometime in the future, whether that's a month from now or twenty years from now, guy 1 will realize he's been behaving like a real loser the last few weeks. Would he have preferred it if you'd started dating guy 2 behind his back, or had maybe stayed in the relationship all the while wishing you were with guy 2? He may not love the idea -- no rejected guy would -- but what you've done is by far the most reasonable option. Basically the way he's acting is very immature, but that's hardly unusual for a 19-year-old guy. I cringe when remembering what I was like at 19. Bleh! Anyway, it sounds like YOU are doing well, which is really what's important. Have fun on your date... Artlover & daisy, thanks for your replies, you are absolutely right. I just needed that confirmation from someone. thank you =) Link to post Share on other sites
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