alyssa706 Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 My boyfriend and I of six years recently broke up...i was completely devestated because he went from emailing me and begging me to come back to dating someone 5 years younger than him in a matter of about three weeks. When I asked him about it he lied and told me that they were just friends, so, me wanting to get back together with him went over to his house where we ended up getting sexually involved with eachother twice in one week. The week after I heard the truth about her and all that he could say was that he was sorry, he was just trying to protect my feelings and that he lost control of the situation and got sexually involved with me. He told me he would tell his current girlfriend that he cheated on her. He lied about that too--i eventually had to be the one to IM her and tell her by accident because i was apologizing for what had happened. When i approached him about that he said he just couldn't find the courage to tell her. After this i collected everything of significence in a shoebox and gave it to him--pictures, rings that he gave me, little momentos. He was pretty upset when i did that and even said he wanted me to keep them but i refused. Anyway, its been about two weeks, they're over now, and he's starting to pay more attention to me. He's starting to show interest somewhat, and told me that he wants to come and visit me (i go to college an hour and a half away from where he lives). It seems like he had a wake up call and is finally seeing what he wants. However, he has made it clear that he wants to have sex with me, and when i asked if our relationship goes beyond sex for him he told me that he wasn't sure and that he wanted to find out. Should i have sex with him? I want to, but i'm not sure. I just don't want to ruin what we've rebuilt in the past week....i really want to be back together with him emotionally, and i'm unsure if us having sex with encourage that or what. Please give me some insight! Link to post Share on other sites
bigbrowneyes Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Hey Alyssa, I don't want to appear negative about your situation but I experienced a similar situation with my x so I can relate to how you’re feeling. In my opinion you need to set some relationship boundaries...and the most important one is abstaining from a sexual relationship. Your relationship has some serious issue to work through and if you are emotionally clouded by the euphoria sex brings to the relationship you may miss all the warning signs or answers you are looking for. Furthermore, if he's not sure if your relationship is based on sex, you'll definitely get your answer if you abstain. If he loves you unconditionally and you're the "one", he will respect your decision to concentrate on strengthening your relationship in other way and address the real problems. If your relationship is only about sex, he'll either leave or cheat…. and I know this from experience. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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