Oral Sex

[Rachel]

Well, I am head over heels with the guy I am dating. I know a bunch of you were soooo supportive when I went through my breakup Last november? Remember that anyone? Well, I read, did a few sessions with a counseler, and all in all reflected on myself and my life . I got so many wonderful responses to my " I will survive" listing..... Just wanted to let you know how well I am doing after 8 months.

 

I met the guy am dating about 2 1/2 months ago. I really think he might be it. We have so much in commong, totally enjoy eachothers company, and just love being with eachother. And all that from a blind date!!!!

 

My question; He doesn't like to perform oral sex on me, or any women. He says he has tried it once or twice and has just never been into it. I have never had a guy who has NOT wanted to perform oral sex. Honestly, I have never been that much into receiving it, buy I was wondering if other women out there have been with a guy who doesn't like to perform oral sex. Is this common guys? "Fess up"

 

Does that mean he will never? Have anyone out there had a guy change his mind?

 

Does that mean I will miss it even though I wasn't that much into receiving it before?

 

Well, that's it.

 

Other than that I am just crazy crazy crazy about him.

[Daisy]

I must say it sure was refreshing to read your post. Although I was not around for your original postings, I can totally relate to your current situation.

 

When my current boyfriend and I first began dating, he would occasionally perform oral sex on me. I had never experienced this before and I absolutely loved it. However, we've been dating for over 2 years now and he refuses to perform oral sex on me anymore. I think the last time I received it was about a year ago.

 

I've asked him why and he tends to just beat around the bush (no pun intended). He's told me before that he doesn't like the taste. But then he'll tell me that he'll perform it on me again when he's ready to (i.e. he doesn't want me to ask him for it). He's told me that he's performed oral sex on other girlfriends before, but I've never questioned him further than that.

 

Another thing that I've had to take into consideration is the fact that he doesn't like me to perform oral sex on him. I have before in the beginning of our relationship, and I've suggested doing it for him periodically throughout our relationship, but he continues to tell me that it's just not as enjoyable for him as sex is. It could be that I've never done it before, and maybe I'm just really bad at it...I don't know. But I'm sure somewhere in his male mind, he thinks that if he doesn't have to have it in order to have a healthy sex life, then neither do I.

 

I've realized that there is no longer any point in getting mad about the situation because in reality I can't DEMAND him to give me oral sex. It used to really bother me, and I admit that it still hurts a little bit, because he knows it's something I really enjoy. I wonder why he can't just do it occasionally to satisfy me or make me really happy, but I guess he has his reasons.

 

The point of my long schpiel is to let you know that yes, there are other guys out there that refuse to perform oral sex. I'm not real sure how much you can do to help the situation. Have you performed oral sex on him yet? Sometimes men will return the favor if you perform oral on them.

 

And thanks for your post. It sure is nice to know I'm not the only female out there with a male partner who won't perform oral sex. Makes me feel better.

 

Oh, and good luck with the new relationship!

[HMMM]

I am a guy and I can say that the first few times i performed oral sex i didnt like it...but i kept trying just to please my girlfriend. And eventually i grew used to it and in time i grew to like it. And now i love giving it. The same will probably apply to him in time. He's just gotta keep trying. The truth is most guys dont like it for the smell or taste or whatever....but they will get used to it. Why don't you try a 69? He will probably like it more if he is getting pleasured at the same time....then after that he will like it. It's just a suggestion...and it worked for me so it might work for him. Communication is the key. Tell him how much you want him to try a few times and when he does do it show him how much you apprichiate it. I can't say he'll eventually like it but in time he might grow to like it. Good luck.

[dark elf]

Oral Sex isn't something you want to try to coerce a guy to do, it's just such a touch subject for most men, it's almost like a blessing when ya get it. I for one do like performing cunilingus on my wife, but the situation has to be right. There's just sooo many variables that have to be right for many guys, or else it just isn't fun. Complaining you never get it is a sure fire way to either not get it, or getting a half-a** job.

 

Maybe the problem is not the guy - maybe he likes doing it but something just isn't right. It's extremely hard to tell a woman that you aren't going to enjoy giving them oral sex if they smell funny, or they are overly hairy, or whatever reason, since it just ends up with the woman having her feelings hurt, and many men would rather say they don't like doing it than having to put up with that.

 

You may ask your man if there is something holding him back from doing it to you, and promise him that you will not be offended or put off by the answer. Maybe he used to be made to feel guilty in a previous relationship if he didn't do it for the woman every so often, and he didn't enjoy it.

 

What always works for me is when my wife has just got out of the shower, is nicely shaved down there, and gives me a little gentle hint. Just don't expect him to want to if you just got home from work or the gym and are all hot and sweaty, it won't be much fun for either of you.

[Artlover]

Ok, I have to say something...First of all, I've never met a man like this...ok, one, but he didn't like receiving it either. He was a bit hung up. I think I tried going down on him once and he stopped me and said, "you don't really want to do that. It's ok." Yikes!

 

Besides him, I've never met a man who didn't want to or who flat out refused to perform oral sex on me. Most have initiated. Maybe there's something in the water here. Perhaps I've just been lucky. Either way, am I nuts or is it a bit strange that there seems to be a list of variables that must be present, according to the guys who have posted so far, for a woman to get oral sex. Meanwhile, a man just has to whip it out and that's all it takes! Hmmmm. Does a man have to shower first? After a long day, the genitals of both sexes can become pungent. What if the man is too hairy? Jesus.

Oral Sex isn't something you want to try to coerce a guy to do, it's just such a touch subject for most men, it's almost like a blessing when ya get it. I for one do like performing cunilingus on my wife, but the situation has to be right. There's just sooo many variables that have to be right for many guys, or else it just isn't fun. Complaining you never get it is a sure fire way to either not get it, or getting a half-a** job. Maybe the problem is not the guy - maybe he likes doing it but something just isn't right. It's extremely hard to tell a woman that you aren't going to enjoy giving them oral sex if they smell funny, or they are overly hairy, or whatever reason, since it just ends up with the woman having her feelings hurt, and many men would rather say they don't like doing it than having to put up with that. You may ask your man if there is something holding him back from doing it to you, and promise him that you will not be offended or put off by the answer. Maybe he used to be made to feel guilty in a previous relationship if he didn't do it for the woman every so often, and he didn't enjoy it. What always works for me is when my wife has just got out of the shower, is nicely shaved down there, and gives me a little gentle hint. Just don't expect him to want to if you just got home from work or the gym and are all hot and sweaty, it won't be much fun for either of you.

[fluffy girl]

as an english girl, I have met a few blokes who have disliked giving oral sex but loved recieving it, what a surprise!! It's not neccesarily a culture thing though, no, it's a gender thing.

 

I agree with Artlover - why do there have to be so many conditions for women to be graced with the pleasure from a man? Quite frankly, for me, there is nothing more of a turn off than a bloke who doesn't like giving oral - blokes who love it are incredibly sexy usually because what they are saying by loving it is that they really love women's bodies and vagina's in all shapes, sizes, smells etc, and particularly there partner's. It is an intimate expression of love in my view and blokes who don't like it are hung up and ultimatley scared of and turned off by women's vaginas.

 

I think it's ok to be a bit apprehensive about oral sex at first as I was because it is so personal, but it is with practice and confidence that you grow to love giving it and be good at it!

 

My boyfriend loves giving it and is very good at it, there are certain times of the month - ie just before my period when I 'taste' quite strong and during my period - when he ain't so keen which is fair enough but apart from that I have no complaints.

 

I guess my message to men is to relax and enjoy it and don't put so many conditions in place of what your girlfriend's vagina's got to look/taste or smell like.