basil Posted August 22, 2001 Share Posted August 22, 2001 I have been with my fiance for 3 and half years. We have been living together for 2 years. Our relationship is going great. He stays up until 2-3 am in every 2 or 3 weeks and surfs the net. One night, he forgot to clear the history and that's how I found out many many porn sites he visited. I tried to think this is not a big deal since our relationship is going well and we do have sex 3-5 times a week. But it bothers my that he is fantzcizing about other women when I am right there. Do all men do this? or Should I be concerned. Does this mean he is not interested in me anymore? But I just can't look at him in the same way. THe fact that he is trying to hide this is killing me as well. Should I confront him? Please help. Link to post Share on other sites
J Posted August 22, 2001 Share Posted August 22, 2001 YOu have to understand one thing: Just because he is looking at some porn site or naked chicks, does not mean that he does not like you. Men are messed up creatures. It is deeply engraved in theri genetic code. THey like looking at good looking women ( straight ones at least, not talking about queers ). I look at some magaziens from time to time, simpy because I like and I appreciate female beauty. But it does not mean that I would jump their bones given an opportunity. Do not take it very personally. If, however, he masturbates at those pictures, then you have the full right to be upset. Excessive porn is not very healthy, but once in a while I suppose it would not hurt. I have been with my fiance for 3 and half years. We have been living together for 2 years. Our relationship is going great. He stays up until 2-3 am in every 2 or 3 weeks and surfs the net. One night, he forgot to clear the history and that's how I found out many many porn sites he visited. I tried to think this is not a big deal since our relationship is going well and we do have sex 3-5 times a week. But it bothers my that he is fantzcizing about other women when I am right there. Do all men do this? or Should I be concerned. Does this mean he is not interested in me anymore? But I just can't look at him in the same way. THe fact that he is trying to hide this is killing me as well. Should I confront him? Please help. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 22, 2001 Share Posted August 22, 2001 On most of the porn sites I've stumbled across, there was no need to fantasize...it was all right there in front of me. The Internet is saturated with porn, pay and free. The pay porn sites are the most profitable part of the Internet with annual sales exceeding $1 billion. Most men, even those madly in love and in relationships, enjoy looking at naked women now and then. The female body is to be admired. However, I would say if this is a habit or he spends undue amounts of time at the computer instead of with you, you have a problem. For now, don't even mention this to him. He has a right to his privacy, even in a relationship. However, if you start seeing him slipping in the way he treats you or relates to you sexually or otherwise, you'll alread be close to your answers. When the time is right, bring this up in conversation. Without telling him what you know, just ask him how he feels about Internet porn. Ask him if he's ever visited any porn sites and what he thought. But wait for the right time. Even though a lot of these sites were on his history list, the more that were on there the less time he spent on each. Maybe he just went through them out of curiosity. Certainly he would not have joined all of them to get the really juicy stuff. Reserve your judgement and don't jump to conclusions until you have more information. Right now, I'd say he did something most any man with a good dose of testosterone in his system would do. No harm done...yet. Link to post Share on other sites
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