Girlfriend with guy friends

[jim]

The girl that I have been dating for about three months has a lot of guy friends. Her and I got into a bit of an argument the other night about this topic. It went like this.

 

We were watching a movie when her phone rang, she talked for a bit in front of me then went in to the bedroom for a few minutes then back out to the kitchen to have a smoke. I thought for a moment why she went into the bedroom to talk,but realized that maybe the TV was too loud. I heard her tell this person what she did at work. The conversation ended shortly after that. She cam and ssat down and said that was her friend Bob, who she has known for a few years. I then said,'well if you have known him for a few years why did you have to tell him what you did for a living?' I then started to put my shoes on to go out to my truck to get my phone. She then says'are you coping an attitude and are you leaving?' she then goes off on saying that she has a lot of guy friends and that will never change and nobody is going to change her. I guess we both flew off the handle a bit and both apologized to each other.

 

Has anybody been in a situation like this before? If so how should I handle it? I try not to be jelous(sp) but this is the first time her and I have come upon the subject.

[Tony T]

Hey, bud, you don't have any choice in how you handle it. I think she has made it very clear that she is going to have guy friends and that will never change. So the only thing that can change is your attitude toward these friendships.

 

Many men find it very hard to believe a women can have a male friend without there being some sexual tension...so they get sort of uneasy or jealous about these friendships. However, they are a thing of the times and they aren't going anywhere. A great many male-female relationships exist and there's really nothing you can do about them except get used to them.

 

One day, you'll get married and your wife will have children and she won't have time for male friends...or very much for you either. So maybe the answer to this problem is to marry your girl and have a few kids. That'll guarantee your jealously will be a thing of the past.

 

For now, just get used to it or find a lady somewhere who is goofy enough to make you her entire world to the exclusion of everyone else on the planet.

 

Do you really want to be the ONLY person in your lady's life? Do you want that kind of full time responsibility? Think about it.

[sparkle]

I have a lot of guy friends too...and although I stop hanging out with most of them while I'm going out with a guy, I do keep in touch with them..and talk on the phone occasionally.

 

And yes, she can be JUST friends with a guy.

 

But I don't think this is your biggest problem. I wouldn't have gotten upset about the guy friend, but rather that she took the phone call, and then went into the other room to talk...while you two were watching a movie. That's kind of rude.

 

If you do like her in every other way, don't pay too much attention to it. And don't act like it really bothers you either. Let it go. Usually, in the first couple of months, people will continue talking to their friends of the opposite sex. And often, as the relationship progresses along, they slowly talk to them less and less.

 

But do go with your gut feeling. If it seems she's getting too "close and friendly" with these guy friends, then you should get out of the relationship.