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not understanding men!!


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hi again,

 

I was on here before and would like to thank everyone for there help, however there once again is another problem.

 

the guy that i was dating before ( i was advised to let go of the relationship and i did so and stayed strong for 8 months)just a few weeks ago he called telling me that he needed me for a witness for the courts and asked if i would go with him to pick up his kids( she holds the kids from him all the time, she feels that this can control him) knowing ll the deails i said no problem to it and every weekend he comes and picks me up and we go and get the kids, i play with them and keep them busy while he works then we all go out for some fun,problem would be is that when we drop them off he and i go back to his place and we watch movies, have dinner, then he always starts with the questions, were you faithful to me, were you with any other man when we were together? i answer but feel confussed why the questions are happening, he also askes me why we got into that fight?( something happened between us when we first started dating and i ended up walking out and did not want to talk to him that night). i do care still about him but i do not understand why he has to continue asking me the questions?

 

can someone please help with this?

 

we did have sex with NO strings attached at all because i am dating other men and am enjoying myself for the first time in 17 years....

 

lost dazed and confussed thinking that he still cares,( the relationship before was only 5 months on and off because of his lack of trust..

 

any help is thanked from me!!!!

 

kimmi

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hey, kimmi . . . simply posting this kinda tells me that you're still interested in this guy . . . is that the case??

 

well, regardless of that, i see 2 possible explanations for his questions:

 

1. he's missing being with you.

 

2. he's trying to find out what happened so he doesn't repeat the same mistakes.

 

of course, #2 could possibly be related to #1 if he's trying to not repeat the same mistakes with YOU!

 

now, it does sound like he's still interested, because he's asking you to be involved in a fairly SIGNIFICANT part of his life, and i think that says something.

 

as far as what to do . . . how about just asking WHY he keeps asking YOU all these things?? what's he looking to find out exactly?? if he's asking you to help with his legal issues, then you've got MORE than enough right to ask him about all this!!

 

GOOD LUCK!!!!

hi again, I was on here before and would like to thank everyone for there help, however there once again is another problem. the guy that i was dating before ( i was advised to let go of the relationship and i did so and stayed strong for 8 months)just a few weeks ago he called telling me that he needed me for a witness for the courts and asked if i would go with him to pick up his kids( she holds the kids from him all the time, she feels that this can control him) knowing ll the deails i said no problem to it and every weekend he comes and picks me up and we go and get the kids, i play with them and keep them busy while he works then we all go out for some fun,problem would be is that when we drop them off he and i go back to his place and we watch movies, have dinner, then he always starts with the questions, were you faithful to me, were you with any other man when we were together? i answer but feel confussed why the questions are happening, he also askes me why we got into that fight?( something happened between us when we first started dating and i ended up walking out and did not want to talk to him that night). i do care still about him but i do not understand why he has to continue asking me the questions? can someone please help with this? we did have sex with NO strings attached at all because i am dating other men and am enjoying myself for the first time in 17 years.... lost dazed and confussed thinking that he still cares,( the relationship before was only 5 months on and off because of his lack of trust..

 

any help is thanked from me!!!! kimmi

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thank you for responding to me, it is true, i still love and care for him however i do not like to ask about the past relationship that we once had, i just needed a guys point of view on this one... i went through with him things that i never have before went through with my ex of 13 years, it all seems very weierd to me . i do not question him about things and i feel uncomfortable when he asks me over and over again.

 

my friends said the same thing as you did and told me to ask him why he has to ask questions to me and to remind him that i am not his ex i am me. i know that he is scared of relationships and this is why i decided to end it with him after i thought about it and got advise on loveshack from tony. you all are great on here.

 

p.s

 

tonight he asked questions and i stood up and said what i thought in a nice way..it was all cool and i think that for once i left a conversation with him thinking instead of me....lol :)....

 

thank you

 

kimmi

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definitely glad to hear you spoke your mind . . . you HAVE to!! hope it all works out -- for YOU!

my friends said the same thing as you did and told me to ask him why he has to ask questions to me and to remind him that i am not his ex i am me. i know that he is scared of relationships and this is why i decided to end it with him after i thought about it and got advise on loveshack from tony. you all are great on here. p.s tonight he asked questions and i stood up and said what i thought in a nice way..it was all cool and i think that for once i left a conversation with him thinking instead of me....lol :)....

 

thank you kimmi hey, kimmi . . . simply posting this kinda

 

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like the saying goes, don't speak your mind and you never know..

 

again thank you

 

kimmi

definitely glad to hear you spoke your mind . . . you HAVE to!! hope it all works out -- for YOU!
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