Bastard Posted August 23, 2001 Share Posted August 23, 2001 i have no problem attracting girls and can get them into bed quite easily . however the problem is after i get close to a girl, she'll inevitably start to get clingy and want a "relationship" after a few weeks trying to make it hint that i'm only after a "causal" relationship, we " break up" because i'm not giving them "what she wants" and she gets too emotional. same pattern every time. Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted August 23, 2001 Share Posted August 23, 2001 You tell them ahead of time that you're not looking for a serious relationship. And tell them ahead of time that all you want is casual sex, no strings attached. And since you can get girls into bed so easily, you won't have any trouble telling them this ahead of time. So a few of them may not like it and decide not to talk to you, but at least you'll be able to find out which ones agree with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil' Jinx Posted August 23, 2001 Share Posted August 23, 2001 Obviously you are sending these ladies some mixed signals. Why on earth would you begin to "get close" to someone as you put it, if you are only interested in casual sex? You need to set boundaries and be honest about your intentions. i have no problem attracting girls and can get them into bed quite easily . however the problem is after i get close to a girl, she'll inevitably start to get clingy and want a "relationship" after a few weeks trying to make it hint that i'm only after a "causal" relationship, we " break up" because i'm not giving them "what she wants" and she gets too emotional. same pattern every time. Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted August 23, 2001 Share Posted August 23, 2001 I think on average women don't do as well as men when it comes to separating the physical act of sex and the emotional attachment of the heart. And those that can are also smart enough to figure out how to profit from their unique abilities...they're called prostitutes. I think I heard somewhere that its a brain chemical thing, something a woman has that a man doesn't, that actually bonds her to her partner. Not sure what late-night TV documentary I heard this from, but maybe someone could check it out! i have no problem attracting girls and can get them into bed quite easily . however the problem is after i get close to a girl, she'll inevitably start to get clingy and want a "relationship" after a few weeks trying to make it hint that i'm only after a "causal" relationship, we " break up" because i'm not giving them "what she wants" and she gets too emotional. same pattern every time. Link to post Share on other sites
Artlover Posted August 23, 2001 Share Posted August 23, 2001 I think most women can have a one night stand without getting attached, as long as they go into it knowing it's just that. I don't think it's a one time and you're hooked kind of a thing. But, I think there are few women who can have regular sex with a man without becoming attached. Although I've known some non-prostitutes who have done exactly that. A close girlfriend of mine slept with a man for four years and never fell for him (and I mean KNEW it was going nowhere). She was in it for the security. He, on the other hand was head over heels in love. Wanted to marry her and everything. When he pushed too hard, she dumped his butt. I think on average women don't do as well as men when it comes to separating the physical act of sex and the emotional attachment of the heart. And those that can are also smart enough to figure out how to profit from their unique abilities...they're called prostitutes. I think I heard somewhere that its a brain chemical thing, something a woman has that a man doesn't, that actually bonds her to her partner. Not sure what late-night TV documentary I heard this from, but maybe someone could check it out! Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted August 23, 2001 Share Posted August 23, 2001 What kind of "security?" Emotional or financial? If it was emotional, then maybe she was attached to him in some strange way but surrendered to the fact that it would eventually end. If it was "financial"...well then... I've never heard of "sexual" security. But then again, I'm not a theropist. Can you elaborate? A close girlfriend of mine slept with a man for four years and never fell for him (and I mean KNEW it was going nowhere). She was in it for the security. He, on the other hand was head over heels in love. Wanted to marry her and everything. When he pushed too hard, she dumped his butt. Link to post Share on other sites
Artlover Posted August 23, 2001 Share Posted August 23, 2001 Oh, it was definitely financial. She moved into his place after a spat with a roommate (knowing she didn't/could never love him, at least in a romantic sense) and stayed for two years! I think there were also some emotional needs being met too, it was rebound from a MAJOR and majorly disappointing 5 year relationship. He was good for her ego I think. And she knew he would always be there for her. I love her and she's actually a good person with good qualities, but I never agreed with this. My point was, I think women do normally get attached after having regular sex with a man, but sometimes other things are at play too. And then we can be like men, in that regard. What kind of "security?" Emotional or financial? If it was emotional, then maybe she was attached to him in some strange way but surrendered to the fact that it would eventually end. If it was "financial"...well then... I've never heard of "sexual" security. But then again, I'm not a theropist. Can you elaborate? Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted August 24, 2001 Share Posted August 24, 2001 ...That the women who can separate the act of sex and emotional "intimacy" have also figured out how to "profit" from it...they are prostitutes. Now please don't misunderstand, I'm not calling your girlfriend a "hooker," but if you're f**king for money...than you're f**king for money! There's no difference how you get paid. But if it was for emotional reasons...than she WAS attached. I'm sure she's a wonderful person, and hopefully she's finally thinking a little clearer. Didn't mean to pry, I just find other people's views on relationships, and the differences thereof, absolutely fascinating. Oh, it was definitely financial. She moved into his place after a spat with a roommate (knowing she didn't/could never love him, at least in a romantic sense) and stayed for two years! I think there were also some emotional needs being met too, it was rebound from a MAJOR and majorly disappointing 5 year relationship. He was good for her ego I think. And she knew he would always be there for her. I love her and she's actually a good person with good qualities, but I never agreed with this. My point was, I think women do normally get attached after having regular sex with a man, but sometimes other things are at play too. And then we can be like men, in that regard. Link to post Share on other sites
Artlover Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 ...That the women who can separate the act of sex and emotional "intimacy" have also figured out how to "profit" from it...they are prostitutes. Now please don't misunderstand, I'm not calling your girlfriend a "hooker," but if you're f**king for money...than you're f**king for money! There's no difference how you get paid. But if it was for emotional reasons...than she WAS attached. I'm sure she's a wonderful person, and hopefully she's finally thinking a little clearer. Didn't mean to pry, I just find other people's views on relationships, and the differences thereof, absolutely fascinating. Link to post Share on other sites
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