Is she dangling the carrot???

[skeptik224]

After 3 weeks of NC, my ex sent me an e-mail. It was nothing but gossip but involved both of our exes. I responded to her e-mail and that was it. The next day, she e-mailed me again continuing the conversation about the exes. We e-mailed a few times throughout the day about general stuff. She asked what I was up to...I get it upbeat and happy. When I asked her the same, she was short and cold. She mentioned a job interview that was yesterday. Seeing as she wanted to have some contact, I sent her a text saying hope the interview goes well. Needless to say, I got NO response.... WTF?? I mean she e-mails me but she can't have any descency to say thanks or anything? She did this the last time, too... It's like she's trying to control when we talk and what about. I don't get it. Is she playing mind games with me? She's the one that said how badly she wanted to be friends. I open the door a crack and look what happens. Our story is pretty drawn out but the last time she ignored my response to an e-mail, I we strict NC. Then...boom...she e-mails me with "I couldn't resist not contacting you on this..." What the heck is that? I'm the one doing NC - not you... Any input??

 

p.s. I'm back to NC after the text yesterday. I don't have a problem not contacting her. The problem is not being able to not contact her BACK after she initiates...

[Just Visiting]

Tell her that you would like to be friends with her down the road, but not now. It is obvious that you are still processing feelings from the break up. And with her doing this with you, it's not helping much. If she has true respect, than she would follow your wishes. Start with No Contact after that.

[cygny]

she's getting attention. she knows she still has you.

 

either block her, if you really want to get over her, or don't be so quick to reply--if you do reply, tell her something light and jokey and say you gotta go, are busy, etc.

[skeptik224]

It's funny you say that, Cygny. A few people have said that that's her way of keeping me around "just in case." It's a game that I can't play anymore. I've never graveled or begged. We chalked it up to bad timing. (not sure if you read my original thread or not) It's kind of like she used the last excuse as a means to contact me. If that hadn't come up, she may have found another reason. She's not the person I fell in love with but the person I still love. It's amazing how certain current situations resemble past....can you say karma?

[cygny]

then tell her not to contact you anymore.

 

i read your thread. it's possible she may need this time to be free. but if she's willing to lose you over it, then she can't be *that* much in love, know what i mean? or, she seems to feel so secure about you that she's not afraid of losing you. maybe if you started moving on in your life she would have to have a serious think. or if you know it can't work anyway, then you are moving on for yourself.

 

i think these little snippets you get from her are like crumbs and you can't help yourself. but it reinforces the idea to her that you are still waiting around for her.

[skeptik224]

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I appreciate your input and more importantly, taking the time to read my thread. I'm trying to move on for myself. I know she'll be contacting me again or that I'll see her around. (it's inevitable around here) I need to heal myself and what's meant to be will be. (even though I hate that cliche)

[skeptik224]

So, I just checked my e-mail. She e-mailed me back saying thanks for remembering about the interview. (she seemed happy) She just said how it went and what her next step is in the process. I'm definatley not replying.... I'm actually going to turn off my computer and leave the office so I don't cave in.