losing a girlfriend through death

[resentment006]

How does one cope & get over a girlfriend who didn't break up with you but died? Death through suicide or car accident or murder? Obviously one cannot apply NC to this type of loss since it was through death.

[CaliGuy]

How does one cope & get over a girlfriend who didn't break up with you but died? Death through suicide or car accident or murder? Obviously one cannot apply NC to this type of loss since it was through death.

 

First off, I am sorry for your loss.

 

Secondly, I would have to guess that it's easier when someone dies in the sense that they left you, not of their own free will, but because of uncontrollable circumstances.

 

For me, it was easier to accept my mom's death than it was to accept my ex leaving me. My mom didn't make the choice to leave, but my ex sure did. And she's still around so at the time I felt rejected. My mom loved me and returned my love. My ex did not.

 

You just have to accept the lose and grieve but go on knowing they loved you until the end. The did not reject you.

 

My mom's in a better place and I'm at peace with that.

 

I wish I had the words to make you feel better. Time will heal your wounds, I promise.

[coasting]

hey Resentment,

ican honestly say I am truly sorry for your loss. I know the pain and the anger you are feeling at this time.

I lost my fiance and his fiance to a motor vehichle accident 2 weeks before the wedding 13 years ago, so I do understand exactly what you are going through. Nothing can or ever will replace your girlfriend or your feelings you have for her. She is and will ALWAYS be a part of you, and whatever you do, DO NOT let anyone take that from you.

have to say in all honesty being on both sides of the coin, it is so much easier dealing with the death of a loved one over being dumped. When you are dealing with a death you have no choice but to move on and make the best of your life. YTou will always have those feelings for her and nothing or nobody can talke them from you. You know that you will never have to see her with another and that she will be waiting for you in the skies above when it comes to your time to be reunited. And know that becai=use the good lord up above has taken her that he wil make a place for you and her and whomever you decide to be with pon this earth, to be reunited in a happy enviroment together with no no combustion.

Aaalso know that because no one haass chosen to leave the other you have no choice to pick up the pieces and move on to a happy life with no other person there for you to be jealous or heartbroken over, as for the one that she has left you for is the most pwerful aand holiness of alll. Nothing or nobody could ever replace that one. For he the one that we have all been chosen to rejoice with forever more. He is also the one who dsays, "If I bring you to it I shall bring you through it." Please keep in mind that everything happens for a reason and the good god up above will get you through it. and with eah signifigent day of the year lay a single rose rose on her grave to keep your love alive for her!

YOU are in my thoughts and prayers!

God Bless you!

Barbara~Jean

[newbby]

i dont think from what resentment has said that he has had a personal loss. maybe i am wrong. in which case, i am also sorry for you loss and cant imagine how you feel.

 

when people are rejected by a loved one, it makes them question themselves as a person and their whole self image is shaken, or falls apart. often people take being loved by somebody as validation of themselves and proof that they are lovable. this 'proof' gets snatched away when they are rejected, and the rejection is also taken in the opposite way. they are wanted becuase they are worthy and rejected because they are unworthy. its actually a good thing, because such proof of worthiness is false, and relying on others for self image and validation is unhealthy.

 

in the case of somebody dying, it is ultimately, a sadder event for you, and you would probably feel devastated thinking that they may have suffered. there also must be alot of regret that goes with it, maybe thinking things you wish you had said or done.

 

i dont know about comparing it to nc though, as when somebody dies there is nc. it is a completely different thing.

i am not sure what advice i would give somebody for this. i am one of those people who find it really hard to know how to help people whose loved ones have died, other than being there and giving love. i dont know about advice in this circumstance, i am not even sure if its the kind of situation that requires advice because advice is usually given to help somebody make a decision.