Ws, Hs, OW, OM, chated on and cheaters, etc

[My_Other_I]

I've been reading many posts today where people ask about the way of thinking of their spouse. Here is my burning question:

 

Wives and Husbands: after you discover your H or W is or was having an affair, what were your most burning questions? What did you wonder and want to know? What was the worst thing you did to get back at the OW/OM or your spouse?

 

OW and OM: what are your most burning questions and wonders? What was the worst thing you did to get back at the MM or MW, or even their spouses?

 

Everyone, please share what's on your mind. Maybe we can all get some answers here.

 

Thanks!

 

MOI

[My_Other_I]

Noone has had any burning questions?

[dgiirl]

i wanted to know if he slept with her

i wanted to know how he could come home and act perfectly normal after having "lunch" with her

i've never seeked revenge

[Ladyehawk]

I actually suspect that my hubby is cheating. He's been emotionally and

phisically distant. He says he's tired of always making the first move. If your in love and you really want to make love to that person, does it really matter who iniatates ? He's not here for me emotionally either.

 

If my suspicions are confirmed, I really wouldn't want to know the gory details. I would consider it his loss and walk away and take the kids with me.

 

I would be very upset and angry but I wouldn't seek revenge, I'd just want him out of my life.

 

At this point, I'm doing everything with the kids and in the house anyway,

so it really would be his loss. He hasn't been here physically, emotionally or financially. (We're living on my salary) for quite some time. I've been hanging on for kids and kind of hoping against hope that he'd realize what he has and what he is running the risk losing.

 

He doesn't believe I'd leave him. He's wrong.

[Adunaphel]

OW and OM: what are your most burning questions and wonders?

 

Most burning questions:

- is MM a basically nice guy in a mid-life crisis who has no idea about what he is doing, or is he just one of the biggest ***holes I've ever met?

- how can a guy be happy in his marriage, love his wife, love his family and have sex with other women "just for fun", or "out of boredom"?

Why does he not respect the people he loves?

- Why do I get the impression that he has two different personalities?

- Did his behaviour towards me changed because of something I did/say (in other words, is it my fault? what did I do to make his attitude change that way?) or it is just that he was so nice at first because it was part of a game-playing strategy?

- why am I such an idiot?

 

What was the worst thing you did to get back at the MM or MW, or even their spouses?

 

On a couple of times, when he did/say something I found very unpleasant, I played with the idea of threatening him to tell his wife (or even to just throw his wife's name in the conversation. He would not expect me to know his W's name, family name, or the place where she works).

But I'd never _actually_ threaten him (childish. utterly useless. vile.), let alone tell anything to his wife.