SuperMonk Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Well, he called again this morning and asked me on another date. He explained that he’s been really busy with work all this week (I didn’t ask him). About the flirting issue, I am just comparing him to my ex (I really shouldn’t be doing that, but my ex was a super flirt). I would say that we were laughing a lot and there was definitely eye contact, but when he looked into my eyes, I couldn’t really see the “sparkle”. There were no “touching by accident” or any sexual suggestions or hints. About the first date, I believe he felt very bad about it, and made an effort to keep the second date as long as I wanted. We’ll have to see what happens this time, I guess. Any suggestions on what I could do (subtly) to shake things a little? Uh oh. You mentioned you didn't see "the sparkle" - that means the vibe between the two of you isn't that strong. I've dated girls which I wasn't 100% all too passionate about and the dating experiences from those were either empty or one of drama. A good relationship or even just "good sex" requires chemistry or vibe. I've had 3 relationships before and I know how it's like to be with a woman where my passion in her is 100% and another woman where my passion with her is 50% obviously if you do the math, the 100% passion = great sex and romance. The other 50% well, girls are not dumb they can tell when a guy isn't that into them - the smart ones dump, but the dumb ones don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Butterflying Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 People put too much emphasis on the "dating game" as if it is a game with rules, ect. It's really not. Sometimes when men react this way, they aren't interested. Sometimes, they are shy. Sometimes, they are taking it slow. But the only person who really knows why he hasn't initiated anything, is him. Maybe you are more into him than he is into you. Maybe you both have equal interest in each other, except you react differently. The relationship is still new. I say give it some time. Don't push too hard. Don't over react. Send short, friendly emails. Most importantly, don't get angry with him for not reacting the way you want him to. Link to post Share on other sites
DatingQuestions Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Just had our third date tonight. It was longer and more personal. Over a nice romantic dinner, we shared our life stories and feelings toward those people that are important to us. I definately would say that the date went very well. There was still no touching of any kind though. However, I can see in his eyes, that he IS interested, and in many subtle ways, he shows that he likes me and enjoys the time that we spent together. I have a feeling that he is just being careful, and is trying to get to know me more before he steps further. That is what I want as well, actually. I've been in very bad relationships that started way too fast, and turned sour just as fast. This time I want to put off the first kiss and all that sort of stuff till after I get to know him very well. I know in my heart that he is doing the right thing by taking it slow. I think he is special. I want to write to him and tell him that I had a wonderful time, but don't want to seem to pushy. I'd like to give each other some space, and emailing every day may be too much at the beginning. Since he asked for this date, should I ask him next time? Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 DatingQuestions--try not to read too much into his actions or his eyes at this point. it's only been 3 dates. he could be entirely casual about the relationship. be light and breezy and don't focus too much on him. Link to post Share on other sites
mrB2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Well, I think this guy will end up like me....I was so shy that I didn't really initiate any physical contact....I am really inexperienced. I had been on one or two dates, but nothing like this. She tried to up the ante by giving me neckrub in public....Yikes! We had a very, very intimate verbal relationship....but physical contact trumps verbal contact most of the time..... I had written her a letter telling her how I felt (Yes, it was kind of cowardly, but what else is a shy guy supposed to do?) It all came down to the fact that I had some insecurities...and she knew that. She told me point blank that I doubt myself too much. She said that I was to good for that..... I think your guy will probably end up like me....He wants you but is too damn shy or inexperienced.....You will have reached a point where you want contact, but he will not be giving you that contact...You will eventually move on. Maybe you two will still be friends....But your guy will be very depressed. He will be praying to God that he gets a second chance....That is how I have felt over the last few months....My insecurities got in the way of something that had potential to grow..... Hopefully this guy will work on the areas of his life that need attention...I have tried to improve myself and I have felt better. I truely feel that some of my insecurities are sliding away.... Don't give up hope, yet. Good luck MrB Link to post Share on other sites
Deirdre Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 First date shouldn't be to long. Why would all men be primitive and just wanting to be physical right away? well my shortest was a 2 hr chat at the cafe and the longest was like 11 hrs......eventually he was so exhausted that we call it a night. Link to post Share on other sites
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