Kylemack Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 I like this girl ALOT. Her name is Megan and she's everything to me. We have been friends for almost 2 years and of corse, i have liked her since day one. Within the last 3 months or so, there have been alot of flirting going on between us. Alot of signals that she likes me alot, and same from me to her. She knows that i like her alot, and i thought she liked me too, from all the signs i was getting. I am taking her to a movie this weekend too. So everything seemed fine but just yesterday, i was talking to her and she said she can't see us as being "more then friends". I am completly confused cause i have been told by her best friend that Megan likes me ALOT, and with all the signs i was getting i could tell that she did too. So if anyone can explain what i am missing or not getting please do so.... Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 Your best bet is to ignore what she said. Just keep playing it like you're a couple. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 That damn "Friend Zone"! I hate it. No advice for how to get out of it...I'm there too. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 She likes you alot because you are friends. You got no shot with her now. She takes from you all the emotional support she needs. Basically you are a friend without benifits. Heres a site for you. Ignore the crude remarks, and obvious bitterness twards women. The message is pretty solid though, and your situation will make alot more sense. http://www.intellectualwhores.com/ read the ladder theory at the bottom. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 If you can't see yourself as just her friend then you will have to back away from the friendship. She can't see you as more than friends because you have been her friend for 2 years. You should have made your move long ago and told her how you felt. Since you are going to the movies she wanted to let you know she is going as a friend "only". Either be her friend and wish fro more or let the friendship change to an aquaintance and look for another gal for romance. Link to post Share on other sites
seanryann Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 It sounds like she made herself clear, but you still have some options: 1. You can continue to be friends, and forget you ever had feelings for her. 2. You can continue to be friends, and hope that over time, the way she feels about you changes. 3. You can stop hanging out with her, which will hurt her, but if you don't think you can handle just being friends, it's an option you have to consider. If you know you won't be able to stop thinking about her, then hanging out and seeing her all the time will kill you. I'd go with option 2. You don't want to lose her as a friend. It sounds like you two are great together. Enjoy what you have with her, and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 It sounds like she made herself clear, but you still have some options: 1. You can continue to be friends, and forget you ever had feelings for her. 2. You can continue to be friends, and hope that over time, the way she feels about you changes. 3. You can stop hanging out with her, which will hurt her, but if you don't think you can handle just being friends, it's an option you have to consider. If you know you won't be able to stop thinking about her, then hanging out and seeing her all the time will kill you. I'd go with option 2. You don't want to lose her as a friend. It sounds like you two are great together. Enjoy what you have with her, and see what happens. I don't agree with number 1 or 2 because it tears you up. I would have to go with part of Yamaha's opinion of with looking for another gal for romance. Link to post Share on other sites
Ja5e Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 Yeah , it sucks but if , like me , your "in love" with her , the only option is to back off. Now , she may not let you , and you'll go back too seeing her lots etc , but it will always come back to you being at this point again - having to decide what to do , hang around and tear yourself to peices or cool it and pray the feelings subside. It sucks big time , but theres nothing you can do if she really doesnt want more than friendship. Jeez! i need to take my own advice!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 Right off the bat let me tell you that if this is her answer now then it will always be her answer. If you liked her from day one and if she was single at that time then you should have asked her out immediately. Why did you just keep building your feelings for 2 years? Anyway in my opinion you have 2 choices: 1) Evaluate your feelings for her. Cool it off for a while and then think whether you can handle being "just friends" with her. It completely depends on how strong your feelings are. If you can, then there is no harm in continuing with her as friends but always remember that you will not become more than that. There is nothing wrong in having a friend that happens to be a girl. 2) If you realize you cannot hang out with her with all these feelings then tell her your position and leave!! She will get hurt but you got to put yourself first and walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 There are guys that I've met in my life that I automatically insert into the "friend-zone". BUT the minute he starts dating another girl -- I get jealous..almost subconsiously. I then, stop seeing him as just a friend and start looking at him in a whole new light. It's out of my control. Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 There are guys that I've met in my life that I automatically insert into the "friend-zone". BUT the minute he starts dating another girl -- I get jealous..almost subconsiously. I then, stop seeing him as just a friend and start looking at him in a whole new light. It's out of my control. Very interesting.. Can you tell why exactly would you put them in the "friend-zone? If you went out and then cast them into the f-zone then its okay. But if you do it automatically then there's got to be something.... And also if the guy you did not want starts dating some other woman would you pull him out of the f-zone and be willing to date him? what exactly makes your feelings change? Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 Can you tell why exactly would you put them in the "friend-zone? The guy didn't have any 'sexual-value' so to say. I phrased that wrong...I didn't automatically put him in the friend zone...I'm sorry. What I meant was I didn't give him enough credit at first. (Does any of that make sense) And also if the guy you did not want starts dating some other woman would you pull him out of the f-zone and be willing to date him? what exactly makes your feelings change? Oh hell yea!!! (but, I would never steal him away) I would start seeing him in a whole different light. Like, all of a sudden he has "sexual-value". Kind of all seems to happen subconsiously. Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 The guy didn't have any 'sexual-value' so to say. I phrased that wrong...I didn't automatically put him in the friend zone...I'm sorry. What I meant was I didn't give him enough credit at first. (Does any of that make sense) Oh hell yea!!! (but, I would never steal him away) I would start seeing him in a whole different light. Like, all of a sudden he has "sexual-value". Kind of all seems to happen subconsiously. Yup definitely makes sense! Just moments ago Blind-Otter said the same thing in more black and white terms just take a look at that post, it mirrors your thinking! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81674/ Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted February 11, 2006 Share Posted February 11, 2006 Yup definitely makes sense! Just moments ago Blind-Otter said the same thing in more black and white terms just take a look at that post, it mirrors your thinking! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81674/ It's kind of like the old saying 'ya don't know what ya got till it's gone'. Thanks noclobber...will check it out. Sometimes, I think my thinking is waaay out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts