a4a Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 Do you think it is a good idea to take your employees to party at a strip club during a b- trip? H and I do not...... but.......... Dealing with this doozy right now... another conflict with b-partner wanting to do this of course without any of the employees wives knowing. This could end up putting me in hot water for aiding by keeping quiet about it to the wives...... . what to do? 4 male employees going to a seminar.. B-partner has planned and arranged nightly visits to strip club in that town. 3-4 day event. Should I put my foot down? Or shut up and mind my business and hope no wives find out and later they do not throw it in my face because I knew..... including b- partners wife :eek: or I could just hint at it to B-partners wife? (mention something off the cuff to B-partner in front of her) Advice please. a4a- my tater is confused Link to post Share on other sites
Tangerina Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 GEEEEEEZZZZZ.... what a jerk! Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with men going to strip clubs, harmless entertainment or whatever.... but what kind of mature adult does something like plan 4 nights of going to strip clubs with this whole idea to keep it secret from everyone's wives?... and whatever the case may be it really isn't cool to put other people in the position of keeping secrets... you shouldn't have to keep a secret, and it is lame to put the other people on the trip in a position where they might have to... and what kinda jerk lies to his wife about stupid crap like that??? I don't know if you should intentionally bring it up, but it is deffinitely not your responsibility to keep his secrets... Tell me how it turns out... that is a really unfair position to put you in.... grr... lying makes me mad.... I'd like to think if my guy was going out to a strip club on a business trip he would tell me... "Great hun, just keep track of how much money you shove in those girl's undies cuz I'd love it if you brought home an equivalent amount in chocolate and lingerie for me..." Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted February 9, 2006 Author Share Posted February 9, 2006 right now I am damned if I say a word and screwed if I do not H is not going because of it, not only because we agree not to do those things but in the end he does not need to get involved with personal lives of employees or his b- partner for that matter..... b-partner is going to throw a fit if she finds out and I bet she will as she digs up all financial records ect... and the boys have been getting sloppy about their side A's for awhile now. This is going to suck unless I can figure out how to put the brakes on it. B- partner will not back off the idea. I got a sneaking feeling this is going to cause serious problems. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 Can you possibly say something to your business partner that he is putting you in an uncomfortable position of knowing about it and having to keep it secret from his wife? Personally I think it is totally inappropriate to plan such activity as part of a business trip. If he and even a few others choose to go off on their own to stip clubs, at their own expense - that's fine. But making it an official outing is totally not acceptable. Boy it really does put you in a very bad place, doesn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 Ok I just reread your post and thought of another thing to add. Believe it or not this can be misconstrued by your employees as sexual harrassment. If their boss is arranging outings to a strip club, and paying for it with company funds, the company is at risk. Truth is not all boys want to go to strip clubs behind their wives backs - even if this group might want to - you don't know that for a fact since they may not want to speak up against the boss. I would make a strong company decision against supporting this activity with company funds. Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted February 9, 2006 Author Share Posted February 9, 2006 If I continue to protest I will be the "biotch" my H is not going because of it and he is now called "pussy whipped". Which we agree not to do such things as a partnership. no swinging dickies in my face and no titties in his That is our deal and we are happy with it. I am already aware of a ONS that happened along with back room favors of the past. I guess I can always scream " I told them not to do it" I already have mass guilt because of previous happenings that I am aware of. Then sit and talk to their wives..... sheeesh makes me feel like crap for some reason..... it probably should not.... but it does. The claim is personal cash will be used. But judging from the name calling we have gotten I would not be surprised if some of the guys kinda feel pressured to go ........ hell my H did and he was livid. He used the excuse of having too much work to do on the home front as well as not wanting to participate in clubbing. Link to post Share on other sites
Tangerina Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 Nah, that would make me feel like crap too... I mean, it isn't up to you to promote good spousal communication, but it just feels horrible to be friends with someone and know their SO is being a dick to them behind their back and they are clueless... or maybe they aren't clueless?!?!??! In this case, though, since it hasn't happened yet it actually might not be bad to tell some of the wives about it and nip it in the bud... I dunno if that would help or hurt... Link to post Share on other sites
roxyg Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 So this has been done before by some of these employees? I wouldn't be able to look someone in the face knowing something terrible about their spouse. We can't tell you what to do, only suggest what we would do and since not many people have been in the position you are it is hard to say what is right. I guess if it were me, and I spoke to the b-partner's wife often I would casually bring up a convo. about strip clubs and how she feels about them. Anyway, good luck and keep us updated. Link to post Share on other sites
clandestinidad Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 How OLD is this loser b-partner?!?!? If there's one thing I cant stand, its that type of ringleader guy who orchestrates devious behavior for everyone to do, and whoever doesnt like it gets called names and put through hell for having balls and integrity! Who the hell is this person?! If he enjoys screwing around, he should be able to do it on his own! That fact that he CANT do it on his own, just shows that he feels guilty and cowardly about it since he has to get everyone else involved too....cuz you know, then he's just "one of the guys" and thats what guys do.....good god! He's not your boss apparently....why not talk to the boss about it?!???? Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 how about a word to the wise--ie whispered to the wives? after they promise never to reveal the source (you) of course. they then form a group and put their collective foot down once and for all. you could probably tell just one and ask her to pass it on without revealing you. you need a consortium behind you. this 'culture' needs to be changed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted February 10, 2006 Author Share Posted February 10, 2006 How OLD is this loser b-partner?!?!? If there's one thing I cant stand, its that type of ringleader guy who orchestrates devious behavior for everyone to do, and whoever doesnt like it gets called names and put through hell for having balls and integrity! Who the hell is this person?! If he enjoys screwing around, he should be able to do it on his own! That fact that he CANT do it on his own, just shows that he feels guilty and cowardly about it since he has to get everyone else involved too....cuz you know, then he's just "one of the guys" and thats what guys do.....good god! He's not your boss apparently....why not talk to the boss about it?!???? Well I am the bitch and my H is a big wimp according to the ring leader and a few of their friends. "One of the wives said my H can go to clubs"..this was last year... I felt like saying " judging from the looks of him and yourself I can see why you would not care" but I restrained myself. If people choose to do this I am fine with it. But mixing it with business is not smart at all. I think I will bring up the conversation with the B-partner right in front of his wife..... sick of his crap. Hey I hear you got a side trip planned to the strip club during your outting next month?? Is that a tax write off? Link to post Share on other sites
clandestinidad Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 OOOH! I like that idea! You can bring it up without having to be the one to tell her!!! HA HA HAAA Since he's so devious, he deserves whatever comes his way. Link to post Share on other sites
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