Is he telling me the truth

[annie999]

here is a general idea of what has been happening.

 

I have been seeing a guy since january. a couple of months ago i told him i just wanted to be friends. my real reason was that i was scared of what was happening between us. even when we were "just friends" we still spent a lot of time togeter and talked on the phone just about every day. heres the problem. he spent a night with a girl and that girl made a point of telling me the next day. was very hurt so i told him so. he told me he still loved me and that it was his way of trying to move on. we agreed to see each other again. i was there when he told this girl we were going to try and work things out. well a few days later he was in the bar and this girl and her friend. kept telling him that i was going to dump him again. they drilled this in his head. i believe this because i know these girls and they are trouble makers. well we tried and i was having a hard time dealing with the second time he was with her. so said lets slow down a bit so i can work though my feeling of being batayed.

 

he seen her one more time after that. we are again trying but very slow this time. i believe he loves me because he shows me and tells me.

 

now i havent been perfect either i push him away because i am scared. and when we were just friends i did test the waters with other guys as well and found that i do have strong freeling for this guy so i cantreally be mad that he did.

 

should i try and make this work? work though the hurt of him being with some one else?do you think i am stupid for trying. i believe he is telling me the true what do you think? he also told me he was going tell this girl "good bye" he has bee very honest when i cconfronted him about being with her.

 

sorry this is so long

 

thanksin advance

[arthropod]

sorry, but this sounds like bad news to me. he seems to keep going back to this girl, and it just doesn't seem like it's going to stop. if he feels he's "missing something" from your relationship, he'll be right back with her again . . . probably before he mentions it to you.

 

one thing i'm relatively unclear of is why you had these feelings of just "being friends" with him before, and i'm thinking he's trying to figure that out too. not trying to defend anyone here, but it sounds like there's simply a need for an HONEST conversion between you two.

here is a general idea of what has been happening.

 

I have been seeing a guy since january. a couple of months ago i told him i just wanted to be friends. my real reason was that i was scared of what was happening between us. even when we were "just friends" we still spent a lot of time togeter and talked on the phone just about every day. heres the problem. he spent a night with a girl and that girl made a point of telling me the next day. was very hurt so i told him so. he told me he still loved me and that it was his way of trying to move on. we agreed to see each other again. i was there when he told this girl we were going to try and work things out. well a few days later he was in the bar and this girl and her friend. kept telling him that i was going to dump him again. they drilled this in his head. i believe this because i know these girls and they are trouble makers. well we tried and i was having a hard time dealing with the second time he was with her. so said lets slow down a bit so i can work though my feeling of being batayed. he seen her one more time after that. we are again trying but very slow this time. i believe he loves me because he shows me and tells me.

 

now i havent been perfect either i push him away because i am scared. and when we were just friends i did test the waters with other guys as well and found that i do have strong freeling for this guy so i cantreally be mad that he did.

 

should i try and make this work? work though the hurt of him being with some one else?do you think i am stupid for trying. i believe he is telling me the true what do you think? he also told me he was going tell this girl "good bye" he has bee very honest when i cconfronted him about being with her. sorry this is so long thanksin advance

[BeenThere]

Question: When you say "seeing a guy", do you mean you were just dating? Spending time together? Or was it more?

 

And if the two of you weren't involved in a sexual relationship, than what is the difference between "dating" and "being friends?" Afterall, you were still spending time together.

 

If the two of you were involved in an intimate relationship when you decided to demote him to "friend" status, than I admire the guy for being such a good sport and making that transition for you. And in that case I can hardly understand why you would feel "betrayed" when he found himself another girlfriend. Afterall, you admit to "testing the waters too." I would also have to wonder why you suddenly changed your mind AGAIN and wanted him back. Was it jealousy because he had a new girl?...Or was your pride injured because he moved on so quickly and with relative ease?

 

If, however, the relationship wasn't sexual, and you were uncomfortable because you thought it might be leading to that, than I would caution you about changing your mind just because he's found someone else. You could end up with some major regrets.

 

I think you might be sending a lot of mixed signals. Maybe you need to get your head clear before you make ANY relationship decisions. You have the idea that your boyfriend is the bad guy here, and that the survival of your relationship depends on your ability to "get over his betrayal." The simple fact is (and I'll be frank) the problem with your relationship is YOU! And if you want this thing to work, than you better look inside and take some accountability.

 

here is a general idea of what has been happening.

 

I have been seeing a guy since january. a couple of months ago i told him i just wanted to be friends. my real reason was that i was scared of what was happening between us. even when we were "just friends" we still spent a lot of time togeter and talked on the phone just about every day. heres the problem. he spent a night with a girl and that girl made a point of telling me the next day. was very hurt so i told him so. he told me he still loved me and that it was his way of trying to move on. we agreed to see each other again. i was there when he told this girl we were going to try and work things out. well a few days later he was in the bar and this girl and her friend. kept telling him that i was going to dump him again. they drilled this in his head. i believe this because i know these girls and they are trouble makers. well we tried and i was having a hard time dealing with the second time he was with her. so said lets slow down a bit so i can work though my feeling of being batayed. he seen her one more time after that. we are again trying but very slow this time. i believe he loves me because he shows me and tells me.

 

now i havent been perfect either i push him away because i am scared. and when we were just friends i did test the waters with other guys as well and found that i do have strong freeling for this guy so i cantreally be mad that he did.

 

should i try and make this work? work though the hurt of him being with some one else?do you think i am stupid for trying. i believe he is telling me the true what do you think? he also told me he was going tell this girl "good bye" he has bee very honest when i cconfronted him about being with her. sorry this is so long thanksin advance

[annie999]

Question: When you say "seeing a guy", do you mean you were just dating? Spending time together? Or was it more? And if the two of you weren't involved in a sexual relationship, than what is the difference between "dating" and "being friends?" Afterall, you were still spending time together.

 

If the two of you were involved in an intimate relationship when you decided to demote him to "friend" status, than I admire the guy for being such a good sport and making that transition for you. And in that case I can hardly understand why you would feel "betrayed" when he found himself another girlfriend. Afterall, you admit to "testing the waters too." I would also have to wonder why you suddenly changed your mind AGAIN and wanted him back. Was it jealousy because he had a new girl?...Or was your pride injured because he moved on so quickly and with relative ease? If, however, the relationship wasn't sexual, and you were uncomfortable because you thought it might be leading to that, than I would caution you about changing your mind just because he's found someone else. You could end up with some major regrets. I think you might be sending a lot of mixed signals. Maybe you need to get your head clear before you make ANY relationship decisions. You have the idea that your boyfriend is the bad guy here, and that the survival of your relationship depends on your ability to "get over his betrayal." The simple fact is (and I'll be frank) the problem with your relationship is YOU! And if you want this thing to work, than you better look inside and take some accountability.

[annie999]

Question: When you say "seeing a guy", do you mean you were just dating? Spending time together? Or was it more? And if the two of you weren't involved in a sexual relationship, than what is the difference between "dating" and "being friends?" Afterall, you were still spending time together.

 

If the two of you were involved in an intimate relationship when you decided to demote him to "friend" status, than I admire the guy for being such a good sport and making that transition for you. And in that case I can hardly understand why you would feel "betrayed" when he found himself another girlfriend. Afterall, you admit to "testing the waters too." I would also have to wonder why you suddenly changed your mind AGAIN and wanted him back. Was it jealousy because he had a new girl?...Or was your pride injured because he moved on so quickly and with relative ease? If, however, the relationship wasn't sexual, and you were uncomfortable because you thought it might be leading to that, than I would caution you about changing your mind just because he's found someone else. You could end up with some major regrets. I think you might be sending a lot of mixed signals. Maybe you need to get your head clear before you make ANY relationship decisions. You have the idea that your boyfriend is the bad guy here, and that the survival of your relationship depends on your ability to "get over his betrayal." The simple fact is (and I'll be frank) the problem with your relationship is YOU! And if you want this thing to work, than you better look inside and take some accountability.

i don't mean to make this guy out as a "bad guy". alot of this was my fault because i got scared of commitment.i took for granted that he would wait for me. even though i basically told him i wanted to be friends. i had the feelings for him all the time. i guess i should have said lets take it slower instead of breaking it off. by the way she was really a girlfriend they only stent a couple of times together and there was no dating involve with them they just ended up together at the end of the night out.

[Ejs82]

You bring this up to him about how you've felt about this other girl and tell him that its not fair to you and how would he like it if you were to hang out with some guy that was interested in you trying to ruin your relationship. Use that as an example and it might get him to thank more. If he really does care about you more then he will stop. Its worth at least a try.

 

here is a general idea of what has been happening.

 

I have been seeing a guy since january. a couple of months ago i told him i just wanted to be friends. my real reason was that i was scared of what was happening between us. even when we were "just friends" we still spent a lot of time togeter and talked on the phone just about every day. heres the problem. he spent a night with a girl and that girl made a point of telling me the next day. was very hurt so i told him so. he told me he still loved me and that it was his way of trying to move on. we agreed to see each other again. i was there when he told this girl we were going to try and work things out. well a few days later he was in the bar and this girl and her friend. kept telling him that i was going to dump him again. they drilled this in his head. i believe this because i know these girls and they are trouble makers. well we tried and i was having a hard time dealing with the second time he was with her. so said lets slow down a bit so i can work though my feeling of being batayed. he seen her one more time after that. we are again trying but very slow this time. i believe he loves me because he shows me and tells me.

 

now i havent been perfect either i push him away because i am scared. and when we were just friends i did test the waters with other guys as well and found that i do have strong freeling for this guy so i cantreally be mad that he did.

 

should i try and make this work? work though the hurt of him being with some one else?do you think i am stupid for trying. i believe he is telling me the true what do you think? he also told me he was going tell this girl "good bye" he has bee very honest when i cconfronted him about being with her. sorry this is so long thanksin advance