Quinch Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 That's the question really. I'm not planning on getting married any time soon (though I am in a relationship) but my best friend happens to be a girl and, when the time comes, I can't think of anyone I would rather have as my best man. Has anyone else done this? Do I call her 'best woman'? Link to post Share on other sites
ThatOneGuy Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 Well, if a man can fly out to international waters and marry a toaster, Im sure that this is perfectly acceptable. Only problems I can think of is a Total lack of respect from your male friends for picking a "Chick", The chance of having a terrable bachelor party, and maybe a frown from your wife-to-be about picking another woman as the best "Man". Erm, if any of those things don't worry you, proceed! Anyway, Im sure this isn't an unheard of idea, it's just commen in both genders to seek out other members of that gender as friends and such. I mean, whenever I have troubles with girls, I kick back with the guys and chill. You know? Hmm, this leads to another question. If your wife-to-be wanted some dude as her maid of honor, would you be pissed? And no, he's not gay, he's perfectly strait. Would you feel wrong? Hmmmm. Well, good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 I love when people think outside the box! If your future-wife-to-be is OK with it, go for it! My best friend is a non-traditionalist too. She wore a red dress to get married in! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 My "maid" of honor was a guy. He was a friend of both of ours, but I had known him longer. I guess as long as your wife to be is ok with it, there should be no problems. On a side note, how does she feel about your best friend now? Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 My "maid" of honor was a guy. He was a friend of both of ours, but I had known him longer. I guess as long as your wife to be is ok with it, there should be no problems. That's the biggie. I personally would not feel okay about a guy I was marrying having a female "best man". I'm not saying it's wrong, or anything like that....but it's just my gut instinct. On the other hand, I can totally imagine myself quietly going along with a plan like that because I didn't want to sound uncool or immature. That's mainly because personal experience has dictated to me that even...indeed, especially, if your partner's friendship with another woman causes you sore spots here and there, talking about the feelings that elicits in you tends to backfire...however tactfully you try to do it. All I can suggest is that you need to consider pretty carefully about whether the novelty of having a female "best man" is likely to detract attention away from the bride on what should be a very special day for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Quinch Posted February 11, 2006 Author Share Posted February 11, 2006 My friend and g/f get on fine. They go shopping for clothes together and all that girlie stuff. Besides, my friend is happily married and she and I have never been an item so there is no reason for g/f to see her as a threat. If she wanted a guy as maid of honour then that would probably help counteract the 'novelty' effect. But would he wear a dress? Link to post Share on other sites
penkitten Posted February 11, 2006 Share Posted February 11, 2006 But would he wear a dress? i think he should wear a tux and just stand beside the bride. Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted February 11, 2006 Share Posted February 11, 2006 That's the question really. I'm not planning on getting married any time soon (though I am in a relationship) but my best friend happens to be a girl and, when the time comes, I can't think of anyone I would rather have as my best man. Has anyone else done this? Do I call her 'best woman'? Sounds like you want to marry her. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 I was my friend's best person about 10 years ago. Thankfully I didn't have to do any of the normal best man things - as I live in NY and he lives in Israel. It was the first time I met his wife and she and I are great friends too. If the relationship is solid enough for marriage - it shouldn't matter who is in the wedding party! I will admit however that when my ex asked me to be in his wife's wedding party - because i was "his best friend" I couldn't do it. She was find with it -but to be honest it totally pissed me off. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyinwaiting Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 I've been to a wedding with a best person. They didn't call her that - she was the Groom's Assistant (otherwise called The Moral Support). She'd been a good friend to both since high school. I thought it was neat, especially as she gave a hilarious speech that no guy could have. I don't think she organised the bachelor party, though. Certainly, she didn't talk about it if she did... I've also been bridesmaid at the wedding of a couple of friends of mine who I kind of set up. I was, and still am, better friends with him than her, however I was made a bridesmaid out of propriety - neither of them wanted chicks in the grooms party. I wasn't bothered, she wasn't bothered, and it was a good compromise, but it did deprive her of a place in the wedding party for a closer friend of her own. For what it's worth, I wouldn't mind if my fiance chose a chick as his best "man". I don't see the point of jealousy - if she's *that* good a friend, chances are they've had plenty of time and chances to get together and haven't and there's likely a good reason for that. I might be a tad preturbed if she was noticeably better looking than me and wore something stunning, but that's a different matter. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Sounds like you want to marry her. This is what I was thinking. Maybe you need to look at her again... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I was a best man for my friend's wedding. i'm a woman..it was great and the participants/guests seemed to really think it was neat too. He wanted me to be in his wedding and I was his friend (not his wife's--not that we aren't friends..but, it was through him). I was HONORED that he had me in his wedding...go for it Link to post Share on other sites
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