Guest Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 This is actually bothering me a fair bit.. My g/f has a general negative view of her self-image. She tells me that there are some days where she thinks she looks pretty, but then again, there are a lot of days she feels she doesn't. Most recently, I took some pics at a hockey game. I thought she looked cute. But then when I sent her the pics, she just goes on about how ugly she looks and how much she hates the pictures. Her criticisms also strike me as, well, unrealistic. I mean, she's complaining about looking "too wide" or how her hair's out of place, but she's at a hockey game in a hockey jersey, not a glamour shoot. I realize that sometimes photography is not always very flattering. I know that with my experience in photography and graphics arts, that a person can look very different depending on the situations in which pictures are taken. There is a reason, after all, that glamor photography involves expensive lighting, soft focus filters/lenses, professional makeup, etc. And post-processing, especially airbrushing, can make a huge difference. That said, I can understand how a person's negative self-image can affect the way they look at themselves. I know I used to have a very negative self-image when a teen (mind you, I was quite skinny and had bad acne at the time). I used to be very camera shy, but gradually got over that. I think also realizing how much of a different between glamor-type photography and regular photography there is when it comes to things like lighting, makeup, etc, gives me better perspective when I see myself in pictures. I dunno what to do. I think she's beautiful, other people tell her she's beautiful, she gets hit on by other guys... but she still has a negative self-image. I realize it's something that can't really be changed by what others say, but has to be something that changes from within. But it still bothers me that she has such a negative view of herself. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted February 11, 2006 Share Posted February 11, 2006 Unfortunately, the media's obsession with the 'most beautiful' women (yeah, the ones who have been made up and hairdressed for eight hours before a camera gets near them) has made what seems to be huge numbers of normal females insecure. You telling her she's beautiful won't help. She needs help from the inside out. There are books on increasing self-esteem - maybe you could persuade her to read one. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 You're in the same boat with my boyfriend, I am that way. It's very unattractive to go on about how unattractive you are, I know. Believe me, it's WAY worse to feel bad about yourself. I know it's irritating for you, but it's tearing her up inside. I don't have any advice for you, except that it is her problem and there really isn't anything you can do. My BF got mad one time and said, "You know, if you keep telling me you're ugly one day I might believe you." It sounds really harsh out of context, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. I still have all those feelings, I just keep them to myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Show her some pictures of the stars without makeup on. Take some good pictures of her, retouch them and show her how she would look if photographed like people in magazines are photographed. Some people think that the people they see in magazines look that way all the time and they don't. It is amazing how a camera angle, light, focus and etc. all work to produce results that don't even look like the person being photographed. Link to post Share on other sites
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