Sparky Posted February 11, 2006 Share Posted February 11, 2006 Hey everyone! It's nice to be back here! Now I have a new dilemma. You might want to sit down for a while, because this is a little long... I'm in a program called Graphic Design in a class of 32 people. The workload is evil, so we all spend on average about 12 hours a day in that class. Yeah, it's a lot, I know, and it can drive you nuts! The good thing here is that spending ALL this time together brings us together, so we are basically one BIG family. We look out for each other, go to bars for birthdays, and that stuff. There's this girl in my class (jee, you probably saw this comin' A MILE away, eh? ). In the beginning of the year, she was just a girl in my class; never stood out in any way to me. Then one day she started showing a little interest in me, KINDA like flirting, but not quite, and we got to know each other better. After that, I started to look at her differently. She's kind, beautiful, always laughs at my jokes, but what really stands out is that she cares about me, and REALLY understands me, like my learning disorder, and how I think. Whenever she goes home for the night, I really miss her, and whenever I come to school, I always want to see her again. Whenever she's in the same room as me, I feel happy. I am never shy to talk to her. From what I KNOW or THINK about how she feels about me is that she likes me as a friend, but sees me as a person that stands out in the class, but probably not the same way I see her. She never pushes me away when I "accidentally" get really close to her. For the record, in the past, I have a history of getting the wrong picture of people. Read "Girl Problem" by me in the General Relationships category, or just search my name in this forum and you'll come across my threads. Last friday, we all went to the bar for a girl's birthday in our class, and she came along. But she didn't come alone. She came with another guy. I talked to him a bit one on one to get to know him. He said that they've only known each other for 3 weeks. I told her how great of a person this girl is. I later noticed him with his arm around her, and holding her hand, and REALLY comforting her. This was so hard to watch, that I had to run to the bathroom 3 times because I thought I was gonna throw up. However, when I came and talked to her, she told me that they are not going out, but I didn't feel any better about the situation. One those 2 left, I felt a hell of a lot better, even though she was still on my mind. Just so you all know, I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH HER, I just like her a lot. She has never once told me about this person, and we are pretty good friends. I'm trying to think that this is a good thing. Now onto the dilemma... I'm trying to decide if I should just come clean with her and tell her how I feel, or start talking to her more, gradually show more how I feel, and build a stronger relationship. If I come clean, I'm worried that it may close the door on any future I have with her. If I gradually show my interest, I have no idea how fast the relationship between those 2 are going. It's as hard to explain as it is to figure out. So I really need help on this problem. I realize that I'm the only one in this forum who knows this girl better than anyone else. Whew! Long story, but thanks for reading it if you are reading this sentence. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 You will probably get the 'just friends' line if you confess how you feel. But you know what, do it so at least you know, and if she sees you as just friends then ditch her and her meatball boyfriend. Time isnt on your side her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 Thanks for the opinion. I realize time isn't exactly on my side, but I want to still be friends with her, and her friend is a nice guy as well. Meatball boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 No dont talk yourself into the just friends role. You obivously dont want to be just friends. you want to go out with her. If you wanted to be just friends you wouldnt have posted here. I mean really, who in thier right mind would post 'ya i met this cool person. should i be friends with them?' No one would, thats who. So dont kid yourself, and dont settle for less. Belive me , seeing the girl you like with her guy sucks big gorrilla balls. Dont sell yourself short. I you like her, do somethign about it. It might not work out, or it might. Its a risk you should be willing to take. If you go for the comfort zone, 'she probably dosnt feel the same' routine you WILL be just friends with her. Ask her out so at least you know. If you wait too long you will be screwed and not in the moist mushy fun way. And yes he is a meatball. Love is war. You dont see generals say to thier commanding officers, oh but why kill them, they are kinda nice. Take no prisoners!!!!!!!!!!!! Would you rather this guy go out with her? Ya hes REAL nice, thats why you ran to the bathroom three times to almost throw up. I mean, im not the smartest guy but im not F'ing stupid either, and neither are you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 I love your persuasion skills. And you ARE right - Love IS a war. If you go for the comfort zone, 'she probably doesn't feel the same' routine you WILL be just friends with her. Sorry but I'm not quite understanding this part. Can you give me an example? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 Okay, never mind. I understand where you're getting at now. I just needed to read it more than once to understand. Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Sparky, Talk about a movie/concert. art opening etc. that you might want to see and if she seems interested - then ask her to come along. If she accepts, then she is interested, if not - then drop it, and have her as your friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 That's true. We have a Tim Hortons in the school. Would that be the same if I asked her to come along with me? Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 That's true. We have a Tim Hortons in the school. Would that be the same if I asked her to come along with me? Whatever you want to invite her to, make it seem as though you are just speaking of an interest at the time. If she seems interested/excited/ or asks questions about the event, then that is the time to ask if she wants to come along.... Link to post Share on other sites
Stryfeno12 Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 I agree, ask her out and make her come alone. That will be the first step on finding out how she feels about you. If she does agree, and depending on how the date goes you will know if you have a future with her or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted February 13, 2006 Author Share Posted February 13, 2006 Alright! Thanks everyone! I'm gonna ask her tomorrow! This isn't going to be easy, like every other guy, no matter how brave they seem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted February 13, 2006 Author Share Posted February 13, 2006 Sparky, Talk about a movie/concert. art opening etc. that you might want to see and if she seems interested - then ask her to come along. If she accepts, then she is interested, if not - then drop it, and have her as your friend. Just if she doesn't seem interested, I need to get it off my chest SOMEHOW, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted February 15, 2006 Author Share Posted February 15, 2006 Hey Everyone! Today I told her! It was hard, but I gathered the balls to do it. But after telling her, I wasn't as satisfied as I had hoped to be. Here are the details... I took her to a room where we were alone. This is what I said: Me: I really need to get something off my chest, don't worry, it's not bad. Me: *big sigh* Me: I really like you. Her: Okay. Me: You're a kind, and understanding person, and I feel really happy knowing you're around. Her: Okay (smiling). Then I had a brainfart (where you're gonna say something, but forget what it is). Me: I realize you are seeing (him), and it doesn't bother me at all. You probably don't feel the same way, do you? Her: Well... I AM kinda seeing (him). I can be your friend. Me: That's good. This is what confuses me: She completely avoided my question. Does this mean that she likes me, but can't be with me? I don't want to cling onto any false hope. Another thing... I told her that it didn't bother me, and it did. I know, this is dumb, and I shouldn't have said that. Should I let her know what I really think? Please hellp me! I'm really confused! Link to post Share on other sites
Stryfeno1 Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Me: I really like you. Her: Okay. Her: Well... I AM kinda seeing (him). I can be your friend. I personally think she did not avoid your question. When you told her you liked her, she replied by a simple OKAY. Its seems that she does not want to hurt your feelings. If it was me, I would ask her the question you proposed earlier, and that is: "Am I clinging to lost hope?" And only then you will see where you and her stand. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 I emailed her because I'm normally able to explain things better through messages. She replied back and said that she is really sorry that she doesn't feel the same way about me. Oh well, at least she was honest with me. Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 This girl was taken my friend. Go and fish somewhere else. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sparky Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 I feel like an emotional wreck. I thought telling her how I honestly felt about her would make me feel better. But now, I actually feel worse. I can't stand to look at those two together. It makes me sick. I feel so stupid and angry. I know for a fact she had some interest in me. I sometimes think she was playing games with my heart. I'm really confused right now. Link to post Share on other sites
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