Aussiegirl123 Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Hi everyone.I hope you can give me advice on this very strange situation. I have known this man for 2yrs now and have very strong feelings for him. I was convinced that he felt the same way considering his actions. He stares at me constantly and when we are alone acts very nervous, other people have commented on the way he watches me, this has gone on for about 18mths. I know he came out of a bad marriage a few years ago and is maybe what makes him nervous and scared. Anyway, here is the doosy. I decided to be brave and tell him(actually I emailed him) how I felt. He emailed back after a week telling me he felt nothing for me, this shattered me as he has given me every indication that he is interested, in fact, someone once said, the way he stares all the time it's like he's so in love with me he can't see straight. I was furious at his response and him not acknowledging his actions so, in anger I emailed him telling him he had led me on and to think about his actions, I was very comfronting and truthfull, and don't reget a word I wrote. I saw him again after 2 months recently and he seemed very happy to see me again.Once again i noticed him watching me and smiling at me all the time.Why on earth would he be still watching me? I don't understand. Why can't he leave it alone? You'd think with what has happened he would avoid me like the plague, which would actually be good, but no, he continues to do what he has always done. Does anyone have any ideas? Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 He may have been watching you because you're pretty, not because he wants to have a relationship. I'm not sure how he led you on if all he was doing was watching you. Did the two of you, in fact, ever become friends? Have conversations? Spend time together? If not, I don't feel he 'led you on' and you may have overreacted. I can't really tell from your post. If there was more to it than just eye contact and 'watching', please elaborate. Anyone coming out of a bad marriage is naturally cautious. It takes time to heal from something like that. The best way to proceed with a recent divorcee is to start slow; be friendly, get to know each other casually and let things unfold in a natural manner. He told you he does not have feelings for you. You reacted badly. If he is acting 'happy' to see you it may that he is masking embarressment and discomfort. Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Generally men just say what they feel. So, I would take the comment that he does not want to pursue you and let it all go. Just be pleasant if you do run into him. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperMonk Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Generally men just say what they feel. So, I would take the comment that he does not want to pursue you and let it all go. Just be pleasant if you do run into him. ^^^ Generally men (compared to women) say what they mean. However, he could also be embarassed and I do not know the exact details of the letter whether you came too strong or what not - The ball is pretty much in his court (as men should do the pursuing) so just ignore him and see if he actually and finally asks you out as it seems both of ya got something going on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aussiegirl123 Posted February 13, 2006 Author Share Posted February 13, 2006 Hi, thank you for your responses. In my first email to him I told him I have had strong feelings for him for a long time but wanted to try and get past it as it I couldn't handle it anymore. I didn't ask anything from him at all, in fact, i didn't even expect a response. When he did reply and told me he felt nothing for me I saw red. The reason being, I really believe he led me on. The way he has been watching me for over a year, the way he spoke to me, the way he looked at me (with mushy eyes) when we spoke, the way he would call me and ask me sillly questions, questions I know he knew the answers to already. This is why I am angry and confused now, as he is still watching me, even when i'm talking to other people, i see out of the corner of my eye, he is watching my every move, I find his behaviour very strange. Why is he doing this? I don't know what to do? Thanks everyone for your advice Link to post Share on other sites
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