MissMegsy283 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Well... I don't really know where to start. I am just a very clingy person, and I can't help it. I'm a very introverted, very to-myself type of gal... I have friends, but not friends I hang out with on a regular basis. My boyfriend is my best friend... but, I'm finding out that that's not exactly a good thing. He needs his friends. He needs to have "guy" time. I'm more than willing to give it to him. And I do. But the second he's gone, I feel so lonely and so needy for his attention... like he is the only person who can make me happy and fulfill my life. I don't know what to do. I am falling apart. I know that it will eventually push him away... like it has all guys... How do I become more independent? I have to make this relationship work because I truly feel like he is my soul mate... and I know that if it ends, it will be because of this problem. Please help me... I am so desperate. Link to post Share on other sites
danny8630 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Possession/Possessiveness....It is bad ju ju. There isn't much good about your dependancy...you need to focus some attention towards other things like a hobby. You said you have friends...well then BE a friend and hang out with them. Have a "girl's" day or night--go to the mall. If you begin to be in the way of your bf, he will probably let you know by becoming frustrated when YOU become upset because he is out, and you are not. Try your best to focus attention on other stuff. I understand your boyfriend is the world to you, but be realistic, is he the only thing that exists? Calm your mind and think about it real hard; Hell, I would suggest talking to your bf about it. Hope This Helps. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 You need YOU time. You need your girl friends too. You need to find other things which occupy your time, that make you happy instead of relying on your boyfriend to do all that. It is way too much pressure to put on a person. It isn't fair to make him responsible for YOUR happiness. Putting the eggs (or should I say one egg) in the same basket isn't healthy. If you continue to do this, he will eventually feel that burden as much as he loves you, you can't suffocate a person like that. Can I ask why you feel he is the only thing that will make you happy? Do you have any other interests, hobbies, passions? Do you work or go to school? Do you love to shop, be around your family? Do nice things for them too? It's time to dig down and ask yourself these questions...You need to be happy alone with him - And let him MISS you so the time being spent together is valuable and appreciated...You can't make him the centre of your universe Megsy. It WILL mess you up if the two of you break up. Keep posting and I hope some of what I said makes sense to you. Link to post Share on other sites
danny8630 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 You need YOU time. You need your girl friends too. You need to find other things which occupy your time, that make you happy instead of relying on your boyfriend to do all that. It is way too much pressure to put on a person. It isn't fair to make him responsible for YOUR happiness. Putting the eggs (or should I say one egg) in the same basket isn't healthy. If you continue to do this, he will eventually feel that burden as much as he loves you, you can't suffocate a person like that. Can I ask why you feel he is the only thing that will make you happy? Do you have any other interests, hobbies, passions? Do you work or go to school? Do you love to shop, be around your family? Do nice things for them too? It's time to dig down and ask yourself these questions...You need to be happy alone with him - And let him MISS you so the time being spent together is valuable and appreciated...You can't make him the centre of your universe Megsy. It WILL mess you up if the two of you break up. Keep posting and I hope some of what I said makes sense to you. Hmm...seems we think the same. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Hmm...seems we think the same. Scary eh? I do hope that Megsy really reads the advice given. Link to post Share on other sites
honey5 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I don't know how long ago this was posted, probably long, but OMG OMG OMG I FEEL THE SAME WAY AS YOU DO, AND I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING AND LIKE.. I JUST CAN'T HELP IT BUT WANT TO BE WITH MY B/F 24/7. Seriously.. We hang out like every day. When we just began dating we had this problem too - about how often he sees me. He had 2 guys nights ... But now lol, he doesn't hang out with his friends....at all looooolllll. He hangs out with me all the time. He tells me that he is sorta happy that he doesn't hang out with those friends anymore cuz they're immature.. Anyway.... He doesn't have a problem with me being clingy and needy:P He says he'll love me anyway. And he does.. We've been going out for a year. Anyway, I am in the same situation. I don't have friends that I hang out with, although i do have friends at school. I don't feel as lonely b/c he sees me almost every day.. But I USED to feel that way.... And no matter how hard I try to occupy myself with other things and find a hobby.... I just can't.. I always look forward to seeing him! I love him! He-he-he. But anyway, you're not alone. I am exactly like you. Link to post Share on other sites
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