Should I leave??

[Guest]

I have been with my Bf for 5 years (on Feb 14th). We have lived together for 1 1/2 now. For the most part things have been good. We almost broke up once at 2 years and I have thought about it at other times, mostly out of anger.

The biggest problem I guess is Marriage. He talks about it, and sounds into it, and knows I would say yes, but is not even thinking about getting a ring. To be honest, I have mentioned it on numerous occassions. Since year 3.

Now I'm not trying to beat anyone, but I guess it kinda saddens me that friends of mine who have been going out for a lesser amount of time, are getting married. 3 or them. I guess it bugs me, but I'm not saying we have to because they are, but more like I thought we would be there by now.

Also lately I seem to be having crushes on other guys, well on one guy. I don't know if that's normal. I feel horrible, but I can't help it.

We have also been fighting alot. We seem to be very different. He always comes home and plays a stupid video game. The whole night. I always have to beg him to get off (i feel like a child when I have to) but otherwise he would play it the whole night without a problem. I wish he would just want to spend time with me, bring me out somewhere, do something. In fact I'm writing this right now and he's about 10 ft away from me

I dont' know what to think. We have been together so long.

Also he just mentioned that he doesn't know why we should get each other something for Valentines day. That it's just not important like Chirstmas, or Birthdays. Made me upset and he doesn't understand why I think it is important. He is also mad because he has to miss hockey tommorow night because it's Valentines (he goes and plays with some friends) and was saying I guess I can't go play. I told him I wasn't gonna hold him back, he can do what he wants. He just said then you would be mad. I told him of course I would be, and he said so there for I can't go. He acts like it's not important On our 2 years, he didn't even get me anything, and not because he forgot, he just couldn't find anything!!)

I don't know what to think.......... Please help.

[Shana]

I don't think you should get married at all.... The two of you have some major issues to take care of and a ring on your finger will mean nothing or make anything in your relationship change.

 

You should be thankful that you are not married at the rate your relationship is going. You are board with him, he is with you. Anniversarys mean nothing really.. so what if he got you nothing .. anniversaries is a day to be thankful that he is in your life and you are in his... it is not about gifts... really.

 

You ask if it is wrong to have a crush on some other guy? Why sure it is... it means that you are straying from your boyfriend and looking for comfort somewhere else and if that is what you think you want or need well then there is another reason why you should not even think about marriage.

 

Do you really think his ways are going to change with marriage

???? Nope, you cannot easily walk out the door then, like you could now.

 

How old are you and he?? I think maybe your younger?? If you are not happy move on, especially if your younger, you have so much ahead of you, no reason to be unhappy.

 

Time limits on relationships are crazy.... everyone is different. I would love to marry my guy of 2+ years but no what?? I am SO happy with us as we are that marriage is not everything... I love seeing my friends get married... not jealous by them like you seem to be...