BF's girl "friend" is getting on my everlasting

[typical]

BF girl “friend” is getting on my everlasting Nerves…My BF and girl works at a local semi- fast food restaurant that stays open for most major holidays. They switch shifts sometimes, cover for each other. Why does it ALWAYS seem that this girl gets the holidays off while my BF works to cover her a$$?

All she has to do is call or ask and my BF comes a runnin….

 

FACTS

*All of us are in our late 20’s

*My BF is not a pushover by any means

*As far as I know, they have NEVER had a relationship together

*She is married with a child

*He has known her a little longer than me

]*BF has overstepped boundaries before with her by spilling private information about our relationship

*She calls whenever she wants (even last minute) and asks to switch and he does it for her.

*I have seen the way they interact with each other and it is like they play flirt and it turns my stomach

*BF adamantly denies feelings/attractions for her, stating that she is “married with child

 

]Now, I have just about had it. This Valentines day is the last straw. I am sick and tired of her getting all the “together with family and loved ones” holidays while I am forced to be without BF.

 

To date

 

Christmas Eve

New years eve

Thanksgiving

Valentines day

Fourth of July

Including but not limited to any other day when we are in the middle of something, made plans or otherwiseIt has been like this for 2 years running

 

I am starting to wonder if she is really just a spiteful witch who doesn’t want us to spend these times together…(yet it is okay for her to go gallivanting off with her husband and child).

I wonder if she is jealous because she wants my man and because she knows he is taken, she tries to keep us apart, so to speak, on the days that really count.

But what does this say about my BF?? It is like a total slap in the face to me, that she comes along and he gives in. Its like saying “she and her needs are more important than you and yours” and also “If I say no, then she will think I like you more than her” (which god forbid, my boyfriend likes me more than his friend for chrissakes)

 

I am wondering if those of you think that maybe, just maybe, he has a thing for her? Something irks me about this, but I need more input and no, “why not talk to your bf and tell him how you feel”….doesnt work in this situation.

 

I have “talked” does no good and his response is “you don’t understand” but wont elaborate, besides all the standard “im a good bf” responses, “I don’t love her, I love you” blah blah blah

 

Am I jealous (possible) or is something up with them?

 

Who has input???

[typical]

so..no one has any thoughts to any of this?? I mean, if this kind of issue has been brought up before, let me know so i can perhaps gain insight from another poster...thanks!

[tanbark813]

*My BF is not a pushover by any means

 

I think the rest of your post contradicts this claim.

 

He either does have a thing for her, or doesn't have a thing for you.

[JadeStar]

I agree with tan. By the sounds of it seems he does. I highly doubt you coming out and asking him is going to get him to say, "Yes, I have a thing for her." He acts like hes at her beck and call. Thats not good. Not saying anything is going on, but he needs to get a backbone. Its not really her you need to be concerned about, its your b/f and how he is acting around her etc.

 

 

 

 

Jade

[witabix]

She asks, he gives. You come second.

 

Yes that is a problem.

 

Something is up here, very wrong.

 

You should come first, most of the time at least.

[filarena]

I think he probably does. You ask and he says no, she is married and has a kid. Translation, the first thing that pops in to his mind is she is unavailable, or I can't have her. Would the inability to have her matter if he didn't want her? Who would care if she was single if he had no attraction?

[SincereOnlineGuy]

 

To date

 

Christmas Eve

New years eve

Thanksgiving

Valentines day

Fourth of July

 

 

More importantly, should I be getting holiday pay today?

 

Who knew?

[morrigan]

But what does this say about my BF?? It is like a total slap in the face to me, that she comes along and he gives in

 

You can't create a backbone for someone else and you can't change their priorities for them.

 

It's his decision to put her first, she's not forcing him to do this.

[IrishCarBomb]

She's playing your boyfriend wonderfully.

 

She gets any day off she wants, and all she has to do is some casual harmless flirting.

 

Too bad your boyfriend probably doesn't see it that way. There is no question he finds her attractive. My guess, based on the information, is that she isn't interested in him.... she just likes using/manipulating him into making her life easier or more convenient.

[typical]

well, according to him, she is not manipulating him, and he didnt even realize it was feb 14 until a couple of days before, whereas she requested weeks in advance to have that day off....

 

thanks for the input.....I have no doubt that she is up to no good, flirting to get her own way and my BF is being the stupid ignorant puppy...

 

and all of you had such great points...

 

"filarena - think he probably does. You ask and he says no, she is married and has a kid. Translation, the first thing that pops in to his mind is she is unavailable, or I can't have her. Would the inability to have her matter if he didn't want her? Who would care if she was single if he had no attraction?"

 

Yes, this has come to my mind as well, and several times. But the saving grace about that one is that he met her before he met me, so obviously, he wasnt that infatuated to begin with if he was persuing me.....

 

or was he.....hmmmmmmmmmmmm

[monkey00]

hm , it would be interesting to see whats going through their heads, but im not either one.

 

However, ill offer my own insight on this subject.

 

I have a female friend (w/ benefit sorta) and we get along great. Regardless if we see other people, neither of us will mind (or so i think she doesnt).

 

However all i see her as is a friend. (we did previously date at the beginning) I care about her and so does she about me. If she wants to talk or is in dire need of me ill be there. if she calls out of the blue and wants to get together, i wont bend to her will because i have my own responsibilities.

But i also have to admit, there is some small form of attraction between us.

if it werent for that and the great deal we have in common, i dont think we could be friends with that special bond.

 

YOUR SITUATION: my opinion is you should be wary, they probably have some kind of strong connection/bond that exists. and well...whatever it is, you'll never know. However if you trust him and he's loyal to you, nothing is going to happen between them.

 

be careful about confronting him about this. you could be pushing him away (perhaps into her arms even). but if you dont confront him, you'll remain in the dark. Tough situation...dont know what to tell you. it all depends how much you trust him, and how much he respects you.

[hyakku]

Wait, a relationship is built on communication, if you can't do that, then you're going to have a rough relationship. If you can't talk to him about this, how it bug s you and a solution, then maybe you should really reconsider this relationship.