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Am I needy?


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I have been with my girlfriend for 7 months now and she seems to flowing back and forth between close to me and very cold and distant. We live together and are engaged to married sometime after Jan. I am an affectionate person and when we first dated she was too. One thing I really like is to be noticed when I get home from work. Just a kiss, a hug hello, or a "how was your day?" She sometimes almost ignores me. I hate it. I do thrive on her attention a bit too much, but I am dealing with it daily. She has been so cold and distant to me for the past two weeks it makes me sad. I really feel like I bend over backwards for her at every turn. I love doing for her, but an occasional good deed in return would help. I am feeling like I am being taken for granted. The other day she through a fit because I rolled my eyes when she asked me to do something for her. I suppose my attitude is suffering because of the way I feel. I explained it to her be she only sees it from her point of view. Any advise would help....

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I don't know that you're "needy," but even if you are, it's not necessarily a bad thing. You just need to be with someone who can give you what you need - someone who equally thrives on attention and affection.

 

If your girlfriend used to be attentive and affectionate, and only recently she's changed, something must have happened to cause that change. Talk to her about it. Don't put her on the defensive and sound like you're criticizing. Just tell her, "You seem a little distant lately and I know that's not like you. What's going on?" Let her know you want to help if there's something she's struggling with.

 

Reach out to her and TRY not to assume it's about you (I know that's hard!) - maybe it's not. And maybe this is a good chance to show her that you're there for her. The two of you could end up stronger than ever! But also take this opportunity to see how she handles it when the two of you have a problem. If she's not willing to share with you and work with you, maybe the altar isn't where you should be headed (I'm sorry - I know that's not what you want to hear).

 

Always remember: communication, communication, communication!

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