Guest Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 I have been married for 5 years. I have a beautiful daughter and a new son. A little over a year ago, I changed jobs and met the woman of my dreams. We had an affair. I told her I love her and she feels the same. My wife found out that we were talking, I left the job for fear I would lose my daughter. We have since had a son, but I cannot stop thinking about my one true love. I have since contacted her and she is hesitant about letting me back in her life. I need to be with her, but how? Plus, she doesn't know about my son... what can I do? And if I can't be with her, how do I forget how much I love her? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Did you give her the impression you were leaving your wife? Did you give her the impression that you were not having sex with your wife? If you did, I can understand her hesitancy, and what is sure to be a shock over your new son. Do you intend to stay married while getting OW back into your life? If you do, and you re-establish contact with OW you must tell her about your new son and your intent to stay married. Don't give her the impression that you are "trapped" - that does nothing but build false hope for the OW. Be truthful as you can - make sure OW's expectations stay low (outside of the little section of love you have set aside for her), that she knows that you aren't going to leave your wife and that you apparently still have sex with her as well. Then at least OW can decide for herself whether or not she wants to continue a relationship with someone who appears to be a cakeman (not saying you are, but without more information your post seems superficially to be a cakey one). Unless she is willing to settle for that, you may be out of luck getting her back into your life unless you are serious about divorcing your wife to be with her. If you aren't sure what a cakman is, read this thread and the following comments. How to forget OW if you choose to stay married without OW in your life? Time, serious no contact with OW, and some serious marriage counseling with your wife to try to rebuild whatever it is you had with her. Long, painful process but the choice is yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 And if I can't be with her, how do I forget how much I love her? Invest some time and effort to learn what "love" is. Seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
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