6 mos into my second chance but...

[J dub]

Everyone has made really good points but my one point is this:

 

Some men are not mindreaders. Esp when you went out of your way to tell him you wanted to forget abt V-day.

 

And he listened - and that's what he did!

 

Yes it's unfortunate that he didn't write you the card you spec asked for - but you canNOT take him to task for not doing a V-day dinner, flowers etc... You SPECIFICALLY told him NOT to make a big deal when you really DID want him to do smth special.

 

stuff like this is why men don't understand women. because we don't say what we mean, OR mean what we say.

 

He's not Ms Cleo, and I believe your 'test' was unfair and you set him up to fail by making it seem as if v-day wasn't important.

 

I'm NOT trying to attack you or downplay your hurt feelings abt the no-card and bball game - thats a whole 'nutha story. You're totally allowed to feel hurt.

 

But just recognize your role in this - A LITTLE.

 

Now - as for his rude snotty text msg after when you communicated your hurt to him - that IMO was grossly uncalled for and a big no-no for me. But like you said - you have to weigh the pros and cons of your relship and make the decision that works for you.

 

Whether we agree or not.

 

it is YOUR life to live, not ours. Don't try to 'please' us or anyone but yourself.

 

good luck!

 

i know u'll make the right decision - for YOU.

K.

 

I dont even know what to do or think anymore. I get so many mixed messages from everyone -- all the LS's except you are saying to leave him, all my close friends and family are saying to stop being so demanding and understand he's human and can make mistakes.

 

I dont know, I just dont know. I am having a really rough day today.

[brisman]

JDub, I'm with sanne on this one.

 

He is human. He'll make mistakes. You're showing strength here in looking hard at yourself, as well. Indecisive, moody, saying one thing, meaning other. Good to acknowledge these things, recognise that some of his behaviours will be directly in response to these.

 

Cut him some slack. Cut yourself some as well.

[sanne]

I know it's easy for all of us to sit here and give you advice about what to do. When I was in your shoes, I put up with all of the things you have and probably even worse. The fact that you are here, and you have all these doubts, is in my eyes a tell-tale sign that this man is not right for you. No relationship is perfect, but when two people aren't seeing eye-to-eye that is a giant red flag.

 

What you need is some time away from this guy to really think about what you want. I'd suggest taking a few months break and really deciding if he's what you want.