incognito Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Does it happen? I'm not thinking of a misogynist woman-hating kind of player, but a low self-esteem, likes to flirt w/ lots of girls for the ego boost kind. What happens when a girl comes along that they think they are just gonna flirt w/ like every other girl they come across...but she ends up catching him completely off guard and he totally falls in love w/ her. Ya think he'll stop the ego-boosting flirting w/ every other female? I'm thinking still no...since it's a self-esteem issue, and just cause he's in love doesn't mean his self-esteem is any higher. Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 RE: Incognito: " What happens when a player falls in love?" Assuming they can, -I am just as breathless as you, waiting for the replies. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 RE: Assuming they can, -I am just as breathless as you, waiting for the replies. -Rio I think if he EVER falls in love - he has f***ed himself - won't know what to do.... Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Usually by the time someone has learned the value of 'true love' (i.e. a love not based on shallow or superficial values such as 'hotness') he has long out grown the 'playa' phase. Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 I, personally, think they come closer to loving their reflection in the deep-wax mirror finish on their sleek new Corvette than an actual human being. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 like a fish trying to live on land.... just doesn't seem possible... Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 I know one, married with kids. He is the most disgusting human male I have had the displeasure to come across. He hits on anything in a skirt. He smarms all over my gf, well he did, until she started going out with me. Now he dares not even look at her. Alpha is not my LS name, but. I have wanted to so much go up to him, when he is with his wife, and say "Whats up chump? You not going to say hello to *** or *****, is that because you are with your wife? But I was looking at his wife one night, and his sad, pathetic back. As they sat here not looking or talking to anyone. She was pretty, and sad, her eyes carried a deep sadness. I felt sorry for her, so I would never add to her sorrow. She was fooled enough to marry and have kids with one of those 'players'. that is punishment enough for her. As for him, he is simply a disgusting waste of skin and oxygen. Link to post Share on other sites
hyakku Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 What the hell is wrong with you people? Now I understand in the past someone may have hurt you all or something, but you're generalizing WAYYYYYY too much. Because I love to flirt with attractive women and date many if I'm not in a relationship that makes me a player? That's incredibly high school drama (COMING FROM A MAN IN HIGH SCHOOL ON TOP OF IT ALL), if they are not dating one woman and commited, as long as he doesn't lie and say she's the only one, what's wrong with dating arond? To witabix, how do you they weren't just having a bad day? I don't understand, his wife is sad because he FLIRTS with other women? Good God imagine if he actually hugged one!!! /sarcasm. If he hasn't cheated on her or took it over the line of just playfully flirting, there's nothing wrong with flirting, its supposed to be fun, just because I flirt with a woman doesn't mean I'm trying to f*** her, it just means that I'm having some fun. If a player falls in love, he will do what every other person on earth does when they think they haven fallen in love. Settle down. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 What you described is just a flirt NOT a player. You don't know the difference. A player isn't honest about what he's doing...he "plays" women. Get it? And since WHEN is a male person who is still in high school a MAN? I think that's called a "boy." A high school BOY. Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 What you described is just a flirt NOT a player. You don't know the difference. A player isn't honest about what he's doing...he "plays" women. Get it? And since WHEN is a male person who is still in high school a MAN? I think that's called a "boy." A high school BOY. Exactly, right there with ya Touche' he he Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Thanks Cal Gal. I thought I was being a little harsh but REALLY! Hyakku saying "what the hell is wrong with you people?" just got my goat. HE'S the one who doesn't get it but he's acting like everyone else doesn't get it. Link to post Share on other sites
hyakku Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 What you described is just a flirt NOT a player. You don't know the difference. A player isn't honest about what he's doing...he "plays" women. Get it? And since WHEN is a male person who is still in high school a MAN? I think that's called a "boy." A high school BOY. What witabix described IS a flirt. The man in question has done NOTHING beyond the limits of flirting. Since you really want me to demolish this thread and let you know what I know for a fact: low self-esteem, likes to flirt w/ lots of girls for the ego boost kind. Hint: Some guys don't just flirt because of low self esteem, its actually fun. I think if he EVER falls in love - he has f***ed himself - won't know what to do.... This makes no sense period. Let's take a logical look at things for just a quick second, let's try it together. Ready? Were you born with the knowledge of knowing what to do when you fall in love? Was anyone born thinking, "I'm going to fall in love with a woman and MARRY her". No. Humans have two most important things in life, Survival and Replication. Marriage is not necessary to survive or replicate. People marry and do things because of social conditioning . If he falls in love, he will find the answer, THE REST OF HUMANITY HAD TO AS WELL. Because a guy is a, "player" doesn't make him inhuman. He has the same basic knowledge as everyone else, and when he finds love he will know what to do with it, like everyone else does because they were raised to learn what to do with it. (Doesn't have to be parents, school, government, t.v., etc all teach what to do when one falls in love). He is the most disgusting human male I have had the displeasure to come across. He hits on anything in a skirt. So he flirts? That's it? What the hell is smarm? He hasn't done anything physical has he? He hasn't left his wife to go be with your girlfriend has he? Nothing done wrong. If the woman is THAT insecure because her husband likes to flirt, then she has as much of a problem as he does. I'm not saying he should flirt with all women, but he's not doing anything exactly wrong. Its funny how society has so many brainwashed to think, "Once I'm in a relationship, looking at the opposite sex in the wrong way is wrong." And since WHEN is a male person who is still in high school a MAN? I think that's called a "boy." A high school BOY. Nice. Funny how everyone was listening to my advice and talking with me and debating with me on my ideas before they knew my age. Proof that some people can't stand being wrong or possibly educated by someone they feel inferior too, I love it . HE'S the one who doesn't get it but he's acting like everyone else doesn't get it. Yet all the "players" that don't get it are out having success with women right? Obviously they get "something". Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 What makes you think you are "demolishing" the thread. No one will allow you to do that. Men who flirt incessantly and are committed to someone do it because of self-esteem issues, not because it's just fun. Show me where you get your FACTS. Your age has nothing to do with the way I responded. You were just mistaken and I took it upon myself to correct you. I only brought up the high school thing because YOU did. So, are the female people you flirt with in high school called high school women? No, the players are getting NOTHING but a piece of ass. Players don't fall in love. You're just not getting it. They wouldn't know or understand a REAL relationship involving love and respect if it bit them in the ass. So, no. They don't get it. Any questions? Link to post Share on other sites
helena abadi Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 the worst players will bang anything with a pulse, habitually lie and cheat while pretending to be faithful, and care little or nothing about the trail of destruction. conscience? they don't have one. feelings? what are they? narcissistic. you bet your ass. they ooze charm and smarm when they need sex and then push away when they're done. i wonder what happens to them as they get older and the dating field thins out. can they ever make a transition to a quality relationship, or are they so jaded and insensitive and selfish that they just keep banging away at what's left? any players out there care to contribute their 50 cent worth? incognito - i think a player may be able to settle a bit, but as they are commitment phobic, they like to play down their attached status and are likely to keep on flirting and playing around regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 He remains a player. I happen to be married to one. Link to post Share on other sites
helena abadi Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 so why do you stay married to him? Link to post Share on other sites
hyakku Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Because she realizes that its harmless as long as she is a good wife he will stay a good man. Believe me a player is usually a man who is bouncing around from woman to woman looking forthe best one to fit him. When he does he will settle down, but flirting keeps his wife on her toes, and IS fun. What makes you think you are "demolishing" the thread. No one will allow you to do that. Men who flirt incessantly and are committed to someone do it because of self-esteem issues, not because it's just fun. Show me where you get your FACTS. Your age has nothing to do with the way I responded. You were just mistaken and I took it upon myself to correct you. I only brought up the high school thing because YOU did. So, are the female people you flirt with in high school called high school women? No, the players are getting NOTHING but a piece of ass. Players don't fall in love. You're just not getting it. They wouldn't know or understand a REAL relationship involving love and respect if it bit them in the ass. So, no. They don't get it. Demolish is a word used in another forum, sorry got it twisted. Where I get my facts? Myself. Want more proof? Some of the biggest names in seduction communities/dating worlds are all or have been in ltrs. David DeAngelo, David X, Mystery, Eric, Orion, and the list goes ON. A player is usually one who gets with many women, they don't have to lie to go about it. I've heard of guys who literally tell the women that there relationships will NEVER go past a physical stage up front, and many women EAT IT UP. Because they like to date multiple women they can't fall in love? So you are saying you were born better than them and that THEY have a mental illness where they can't fall in love? Because THAT'S how ridiculous it sounds. You need to define your definition of player, mine is simply a man who enjoys getting with and being with multiple women. You don't have to lie and cheat to be with multiple women. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Hyakku, you appear to have taken my words as an attack on you! Let me explain... The person in question is a married man with kids. Not in high school, flirting with high school girls. They were not having a 'bad day', he hits on everything in a skirt, does not imply flirting. I am not American, but I understand that being 'hit on' implies far more than flirting. He sleeps with anyone who will sleep with him. Is that clear enough for you? Flirting high school chaps are not the same as married men going around bars smarming, pawing, and hitting on women. Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
Butterflying Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 I agree with anywone who has posted and said, he won't know what to do, he's screwed if he ever falls in love. His first instinct will be to treat her differently than all the other women. He may buy her flowers, take her out to nice places, and actually spend the night with her instead of just a booty call. With a playier, the thrill is in the chase. But, since he already has a low self-steem, falling in love means having emotional feelings for her. He will be insecure about her interactions with other men. This will cause him to do things that will drive her away. Another problem, the player has flirted with so many women, some of those women will interfear with his loving relationship. The woman he loves will suffer the consequences of his irresponsibility with other woman before he met her. This will make her unhappy. And she will leave him. Otherwise, if she stays and takes all the BS, eventually, the player will view her the same as he views all the other woman, as nothing special. The chase is over. The thrill is gone. A player would have to change his whole outlook on love and life in order to have a successful, loving relationship with anyone. LOVE will not make a player change. It has to be something internal. Perhaps a tragic experience that causes him to change his behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 so why do you stay married to him? Oh, come on... I LOVE my hubby to death, he just fools around with online friends, but is faithful to me! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 he hits on everything in a skirt Well most high-school girls wear pants! P.S I want to add this to my previous post: the women my husband supposedly flirted with before we got married are actually not attractive at all - they are the ones he didn't want to date, but they wanted him. Women just love him! (I don't see why ) Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Butter and Wit, good posts. I think the problem here is that Hyakku does not truly understand the definition of a player. Kind of like he used the word "demolish" in the wrong way. Hyakku, read Butter's and Wit's posts again. Maybe you'll understand. If not, one day when you have more life experience, you WILL get it. Good luck on your journey to growth and development. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 he just fools around with online friends, but is faithful to me! Fooling around online and being a newlywed are not good signs RP.. He needs to stop before it starts to take its toll on your self esteem.. what an ass. Personally I think he is one quick step away from not being faithful if he is engaging in online sexual foolerly.. Watch him carefully Link to post Share on other sites
933KJL Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 What Art said. RP, please keep a clear set of eyes--it will do you better if the lenses are not rose colored! Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 As for him, he is simply a disgusting waste of skin and oxygen. I think I'll say this to my ex someday. Link to post Share on other sites
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