Guest Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 I am in a long distance relationship right now we've been together 5 months, Im head over heels in love with this guy (he has been a friend for 6 years) and the other night my friends took me out because I havnt drank in about 3 months. I got free drinks all night and cant remember most of the night. There was a guy hitting on me hard and he ended up kissing me on the lips, Im not going to lie i was x-tremely tempted to kiss back but my boyfriend was in the back of my head the entire time. After stopping him the first few times it was about on the forth time that I kind of kissed back a bit, I know that there is no excuse for this and i should have walked away then and there, I feel so guilty for what I did, but I'm terrified of telling my boyfriend because I dont want to lose him and I will never ever put myself in this situation again. I am making excuses for myself but are there any reasons that I could keep this from him or should i tell him straight up Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Hello, You either have honesty in your relationship or not. It would be very disrespectful to him if you did not tell him. You know what the right thing to do and that is to be honest with him. The opposite is to be dishonest. Ask yourself why does he deserve dishonest from you? If you do not tell him then you are just being self-serving. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
filarena Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Absolutely tell him. My girlfriend has much the same thinking as you. If he's only going to get upset, I shouldn't tell him. She's never cheated on me, but for the entire course of our relationship (5 months) she has lied about things, mostly her past. Every so often, she'll confess to a lot of new things and tell me okay that's it, now I've finally told you everything. Still learning new shockers. There is not a single doubt in my mind that the girl loves me, but I'm finally starting to wonder if I belong with her. If tomorrow she finally did really and truly tell me everything, EVERYTHING, how would I know? How can I ever believe there isn't more? Lying to protect his feelings is an illusion. You do it to protect yourself from feeling guilty and from disappointing him. Don't make it sound like you have him in mind, b/c I don't know anyone that enjoys never knowing whether their SO is telling the truth due to how often they have lied "to protect your feelings" in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Absolutely tell him. My girlfriend has much the same thinking as you. If he's only going to get upset, I shouldn't tell him. She's never cheated on me, but for the entire course of our relationship (5 months) she has lied about things, mostly her past. Every so often, she'll confess to a lot of new things and tell me okay that's it, now I've finally told you everything. Still learning new shockers. There is not a single doubt in my mind that the girl loves me, but I'm finally starting to wonder if I belong with her. If tomorrow she finally did really and truly tell me everything, EVERYTHING, how would I know? How can I ever believe there isn't more? Lying to protect his feelings is an illusion. You do it to protect yourself from feeling guilty and from disappointing him. Don't make it sound like you have him in mind, b/c I don't know anyone that enjoys never knowing whether their SO is telling the truth due to how often they have lied "to protect your feelings" in the past. I could not agree more filarena here, the keeping of 'secrets', or the twisting or reality to suit, leads to disaster. I have been there. The confusion and doubt it builds in your mind can become a towering edifice of mistrust. It builds slowly, until you realise that you cannot ask ANY questions at all because you have no way of knowing if you are hearing the truth or a fabrication. When I realised this and I thought she may be cheating, I just walked away. There was simply no way to tell the veracity of her responses to anything. I saw physical evidence, couldn't talk about it to her about and left, finished over done. Lying leads to nothing, ever. Link to post Share on other sites
CoffeeHouseHumor Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Well said filarena. Same thing with my gf. Link to post Share on other sites
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