Drea Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 My grandmother who raised me from an infant is drawling up her living trust on who will receive what if anything should happen to her with the help of her daughter. Because my grandmother has her daughters child who is still under age, my grandmother will be leaving her property in both the granddaughter who she has now and myself. The reasons behind this is because my husband and myself are taking care of her in her old age, and with her other granddaughter under age she wants to make sure she will never be without a home. My grandmothers living children have agreed it is fair because of this, and do not want a piece of her property. My grandmother asked her daughter to put in boundary lines of what area (acres) belongs to who, so if my cousin or I choose to subdivide we have the who’s is who’s taken care of. But things have just changed, where before the daughter hadn't wanted anything to do with it, she is now telling my grandmother she has split it 33% to each of us, and all of a sudden she is in it too, all my grandmother has to do is sign some paper etc. This is my aunt who said she wants nothing to do with her mothers property, and in fact has a nice little chunk of land herself. She tells her mother she has to be on it for her daughters sake, yet doesn't plan on doing anything with her share of the property (if thats true then why would it matter if it is part hers or not?). What is your take on this situation, am I the only one that sees something fishy with this all? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Drea Posted February 17, 2006 Author Share Posted February 17, 2006 Come on can someone please reply I need advice and help with talking to my grandmother. I already let her know to take me off of her living trust because I do not trust my aunt and do not want to have something that more likely then not will cause mre problems then it's worth, but I need a strangers input on the situation to help her better understand what I am trying to tell her. Link to post Share on other sites
Roo-bie2 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Sounds funny to me. People get greedy during this time. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Does she have a power of attorny and an executor of her will? I agree with R, people act weird and get greedy when it comes to this sort of stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 with her other granddaughter under age If her daughter is the under-aged granddaughter then if the property isn't left to her to give her daughter, there will have to be a trust set up to administer the property until the girl inherits and that costs money. Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Instead of the property being split 50-50 between you and the granddaughter as was the original plan, now that her mother who has a lot of land already and at first said she didn't want any part of the land is in on it, it will be split initially 33-33-33 after which the mother will give her 33 to her daughter, in the end the final split will be 33-66 with the grandaughter getting an additional cut of 33% of which about 17% would otherwise have been yours! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Drea Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 Oh no, thats the thing, my aunt has been appointed power of attorny and the executor of her will. Not only that but my aunt had also already been the one in charge of her own daughters share until she becomes a certain age. That is what is so unnerving. I just don't trust my aunt. She is the type that would cut you down to save herself. An example was when her husband went on commission and my aunt felt that if my husband left (my uncle and husband work together,) he would go back to hourly. Here is my aunt trying to convince me to get my husband to leave his job and go part-time at a job he has never done and she knows it, yet tells me "it's that type of work he is used to and has experience in." Now understand I have a five month old who I care for instead of working outside of our home, which means my husband is our only provider. I've even let my grandmother know that if my aunt is on the will with a share of the property, I want nothing to do with it and am fine with that choice, but my grandmother still doesn't want to not leave me part, and no it isn't me trying to be manipulative, I just don't want to deal with something that may turn into more of a burden then anything else. Also as I said before it was just out of the blue my aunt told her mother she added herself into it all (hadn't even asked or anything) all my grandmother has to do is sign the papers etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 There should be no hassle at all if you are left a part for yourself. So I'd take it and quit worrying about what else is going on. BTW it makes no sense at all that your aunt wrote up any papers to do with your grandmother's will. People can't go adding themselves into wills. Are you sure you have the whole picture straight because this sounds extremely confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Drea Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 Also, no the mother would not give her share to her daughter. I will not go into a lot of detail, I'll just say my aunts mind doesn't work that way, in fact she was the one to bring up to my grandmother to leave me half, she said she just didn't want her brother to get anything. Again thats a long story that I really don't want to go into right now. But no, I actually laughed at the idea of my aunt giving her daughter her share, I know that won't happen, even if I'm not too sure what my aunt now has up her sleeve. Another thing, my aunt told me that my grandmother is leaving all her possessions (everything not nailed down basically) to her, my aunt. I was speaking to my grandmother today and my grandmother said that wasn't true, yet the thing is her daughter set up the first living trust that way. She is the one who wrote it up, and leaving important details out to make my grandmother aware of the full situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Drea Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 Oh no, what it is, is that my aunt is the one who is writing everything up, my grandmother will just have to sign it. Since she is getting old she doesn't have the energy to read the whole thing or really understand some of the things with how it is written, so she counts on her daughter to be trustworthy and tell her everything in it. So now that my grandmother is adding me in my aunt had to write up a new living trust, which leaves my grandmother to sign it etc. I wouldn't worry so much, but my grandmother will not change her mind about adding me into her living trust for a piece of her property. If my aunt is on it, I want nothing to do with it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Your grandmother should have a lawyer present. Do a new will, it seems your aunt is being very controlling and greedy. What she is doing, drawing up what SHE feels SHE should have, then getting your Grandma to sign it, is complete BULLs***. And, also, why is she, your aunt, messing in YOUR life, telling YOUR husband what to do and what job to take or not to take. You have a right to be concerned, so I think you need to talk to a lawyer and some other family members about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Your grandmother should NOT be signing anything without first having HER OWN LAWYER check it out. Being old and tired is no excuse for being stupid. Tell her to wise up and get herself a lawyer FAST. Link to post Share on other sites
Aquarius Guy Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Dear Drea, It sounds like there are many interests involved. Lawyers can be assigned varous parties with whom to have allegiance. Often, a lawyer drawing up a will, will attempt to mediate conflicting interests, and arrive at a compromise, that will be acceptable to all. It seems that you and your husband are caring for your Grandmother and your under-age sister. Therefore, in the continuation of that suport, it seems that your Grandmother would like to be certain that you are happy with her arrangements. It seems, however, that other relatives have a draw on your Grandmother's heart, and will be able to persuade various concessions. Since you and your husband have already put in considerable efforts, and you plan to continue those efforts, it seems that you should have your own lawyer, to review the papers. Most living trusts can be changed at any time, so you may wish to ask how to make some of the provisons irrevocable, if you are relying upon a fair distribution. I would suggest you have a lawyer who never meets any of your other family members, and represents only yourself and your husband, so that you can be sure of what the papers mean, Today, and for the future. Some papers have to be filed in the courts, so they can be examined by anyone; and some papers do not have to be filed, and can be kept secret. Some secret papers are valid, unless contradicted by a later dated document. So you might want to get familiar with your Courthouse, and have YOUR lawyer explain what any filings may mean. Generally the laws governing the property are the state where the property is located. But that would be a good question to ask YOUR lawyer, what laws govern, and what are the expected changes in those laws? How often should you check back? Select a lawyer for yourself, that is familiar with the applicable laws, and who is keeping up with the changes in the laws. If you get a lawyer for your grandmother, then he has no real duty to explain the full ramifications and possibilities to you and your husband. Even if you are paying for your Grandmother's lawyer. Link to post Share on other sites
Basic Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Tell the old lady that she divides it your way, or she gets out of your house now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Drea Posted February 20, 2006 Author Share Posted February 20, 2006 I agree with some of you. The whole thing has just caused more stress then is needed. I honestly with a clear mind do not care whether I get a piece of her property, I really don't, the only thing is, is she really wants to give me a piece, but I really don't want to accept it if my aunt is in on it. I've tried to explain this to my grandmother, but she feels bad. She can't seem to win for losing, if you know what I mean. It's leaving me in a place I really wish not to be. How am I to convince my grandmother I really don't want it if my aunt is on it, without sounding manipulative??? Thats where I am right now. I really don't want to deal with a lawyer, but I admit I may have to. So how do I make my grandmother understand without making her feel like I'm trying to manipulate her???? Link to post Share on other sites
Aquarius Guy Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Sometimes it is easier to accept a gift, rather than explaining why you don't want it. If the time comes, and you still don't want the land, you can just give it to your Aunt, or sell the property, or just keep it for a while. It does not seem that you are concerned about the value. It may be kindest just to let Grandmother believe she is doing something kind for you. I have created needless arguments about gifts in the past, that resulted in unnecessarily hurt feelings. I have resolved not to make much of an argument about gifts. I just accept, and try to be gracious. Hope you find a way to increase family harmony. Link to post Share on other sites
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